Tag Archives: guns

Guns… In… Space!

17 Mar

Image result for guns in space

Space Cadets arise! It’s time to join the Space Force!

President Donald Trump has declared that space is a “theater of war”, and he has come up with the idea of creating a Space Force, a branch of the military that would operate outside of earth’s atmosphere….you know, like, in space!

“Space is a war-fighting domain, just like the land, air, and sea,”  The President recently told an audience of service members at a Marine Corps Air Station. “We may even have a Space Force, develop another one, Space Force. We have the Air Force, we’ll have the Space Force.”

He was so excited kids. He had to say it 3 times in a run-on sentence! (Do not try this in school)

Our forward thinking president then described how he’d originally coined the term as a joke, while discussing U.S. government spending and private investment in space. “I said, ‘maybe we need a new force, we’ll call it the Space Force,’ and I was not really serious. Then I said, ‘what a great idea,’ maybe we’ll have to do that!”

President Trump told this to a crowd of Marines and I am disappointed to say that they loved the idea… And even more disturbing, a contingent of House lawmakers in June proposed dividing the Air Force into two separate branches, one dedicated to aviation and a second, dedicated to space ventures. May the Force be with us!…and in space too!

The President (of the universe?) however, continued…”From the very beginning, many of our astronauts have been soldiers and air men, coast guard men and marines. And our service members will be vital to ensuring America continues to lead the way into the stars.”

And shoot them? …Sounds like a plan doesn’t it? But who will America fight out in space? We WILL need an enemy won’t we? Maybe that’s why we want to go to Mars…to establish a colony of Martians… and then invade!?…or maybe goad them into invading us? One can’t be too careful I guess.

Space is a gun free zone at the moment and with our luck some trigger happy, crazy, unloved, parent hating, alien loner from a far off planet where their constitution deifies weaponry, will wander into our air space (space space?) and start shooting up the thermosphere! (Hopefully just with like, guns… like we have)

Anyway, in case you might think I’m making this all up, Representative Mike Rogers, a Republican from Alaska and the biggest backer in Congress of a military space branch, said that directives have been included in the most recent National Defense Authorization bill that could facilitate the Space Corps plan in the future.

“This is just the first step,” said the Congressman. “We will not allow the United States national security space enterprise to continue to drift toward a space Pearl Harbor.”

Meanwhile, back on Earth, according to a report from Homeland Security in a department far, far away…Russian Earth-men have infiltrated our nuclear, electric and water power plant operating systems (which are still using software from a century far, far behind) and apparently remain there in cyberspace! (not space space)… waiting to…turn them off?… Should the situation or need arise???

And our President and our Congress have absolutely nothing to say about how they plan on defending us from that!

 

 

 

It’s Aca…Epidemic

22 Feb

 

 

Unfortunately here in America gun violence is now both academic and epidemic and has been for a long time…for such a long time that we are no longer even surprised that there is so much gun violence in America. Let me ask you this: When you heard about the most recent mass shooting at a public high school in Florida was your first thought or question, “How many?”…I’ll bet it wasn’t, “I can’t believe it” or “How shocking!”

A few weeks ago I heard a newscaster say on the air, “Today we had the largest mass shooting in a church.” …mass killings by lone individuals have become so common here in America that we now categorize them. We no longer just ask “how many” we also want to know where the killings happened. “Gee, was it in a Church? Movie Theater? Office building? At a concert? In a Public school?… Really? College, High School or Grammar??”

So far a total of 30 mass shooting incidents have occurred as of February 14, in 2018 alone… including the most recent school shooting in Florida. Can you even name or remember the other 29?…When? Where? or Who? and by Whom?… It’s only been 45 days since they ALL occurred.

But oddly enough for a country that seems to be so good at violence we don’t even agree on a definition as to what a mass shooting is. According to the Gun Violence Archive, a mass shooting is described as four or more individuals being shot or killed in the same general time and location while the The F.B.I. defines a “mass killing” as the killing of three or more people in a public place.

Here’s another way to understand how routine gun killing has become here in America. If you are now thinking: “Only 3 or 4 at a time is a mass shooting? That’s all?” …58 is the record so far…in case you were wondering. In fact, There have been 1,624 mass shootings in the last 1,870 days with 8 thousand seven hundred and twenty three casualties…(8,723!)

And now you might be thinking: “That sounds like quite a lot of people for 1,624 shootings…But how many of those casualties were actually, you know, people who were killed?” We Americans do like to qualify our statistics… but does it really matter? Is being wounded, terrified or emotionally broken during a mass shooting really all that much better than being killed? Because quite often we don’t even count you when we recall the tragedy in it’s aftermath, do we?

That’s how much we love guns in America! We don’t want guns to feel too bad for all of the havoc, pain and suffering they wreak upon our countrymen so we just count the dead, offer our rote prayers and let the wounded heal themselves and move on with our own lives. In fact we love to say that guns don’t kill people at all… Silly humans…it’s the people that do the killing! So don’t feel bad guns, you are totally innocent and blameless in this equation.

And it isn’t even people that do the killing. It’s “crazy people!” that do it. In fact if you outlawed the innocent guns, then only regular normal Americans would be deprived of their beloved guns while the crazy people and outlaws (also crazy) would have all of the guns…because…there is no way to keep “crazy people” from getting a hold of and having guns because…”they are crazy!!!”

And besides, have you not read the 2nd Amendment to our Constitution of these United States which is the greatest and most noble of all of the Amendments and which supersedes and supplants all other documents and writs, amendments and rules…including those of the second greatest document ever written, and that one in stone!

Let us never forget that it is written: Thou shalt own a gun if thou wants one! And as many as thou likes! In all their newest and most recent incarnations! And from the first time when our Founding Fathers’s first formed this immutable truth in their divine minds until the crack of doom shall they be made available to all American citizens of all ages! Amen!

And even though the 2nd Amendment, rather succinctly and somewhat poetically, says this: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”…I’m pretty sure that my version is what many if not most Americans hear in their gun adoring minds when they read those most sacred words.

Why do you suppose that our Founding Fathers put words like “militia” and “regulated” into that amendment along with commas and clauses, if they had no meaning or purpose? They must have had a reason don’t you think? Sadly, Our Supreme Court can’t even figure that one out…and they went to lots of schools! Where supposedly they learned language and how to read a sentence.

And now look what’s happened. Our institutions of learning, have become killing grounds…no offense to you churches, theaters, concert venues, office buildings… and our homes!…for you too have become frightening fields of fire also. So what to do?

Gun proponents have an idea! One that they just won’t let go…and that of course is: GUNS! More guns! Great, Glorious and Mandatory guns for everyone! Teachers, Reverends, Office Managers, Concert Organizers…Heck EVERYONE should have a gun and be at the ready to shoot “the crazy ones”!

Sure, that doesn’t sound crazy. It sounds cool! In comes the shooter. He (not sexist because it’s always a he) comes in to wherever, and starts to shoot people… and then other people (not crazy, hes or shes) take out their guns and start a shootout! Which continues until the police arrive with their guns, calm things down (another shootout?) and sort out the victims, villains and new heroes! And hopefully it’s all recorded so we other Americans can watch on TV how it all worked so well and then hand out our prayers, penalties and awards.

And this will of course work because Other crazy people with guns will of course be watching also and they will realize that they had better not go out shooting in places where they thought would be others without guns because they will just get shot too. And so the violence will end and our much beloved guns will be the reason why.

And so now you are thinking: “Boy this guy is really stupid!” There will be no shootouts because the bad guys will already know that everyone is carrying a gun because gun laws will be passed allowing everyone, everywhere to carry a “concealed weapon” and then the bad guys won’t know if you have one or not or who has one or doesn’t and then they will be afraid to go anywhere to shoot anyone because they might get shot. The end.

But now let me ask you this: Imagine for an instant that you want to go out and kill people (because you are crazy) and you have an AR-15 semi-automatic assault style rifle but you are afraid that regular normal people are packing too, (handguns) so, can you think of any other places to go besides, schools, concerts, churches, office buildings and theaters? Go ahead and try…I’ll wait…

Well? Anywhere and everywhere comes to my mind and I don’t want to give any ideas to anyone lest you think me crazy but so far in this essay I have forgotten to mention malls, homes and post offices as places where we have had many mass shootings. Remember the phrase “Going Postal”? Once upon a time post offices and postmen (not women) were places and people to stay away from. I wonder why we don’t go postal anymore? Email?

Anyway, most of America’s mass shooters were known to have violent tendencies or criminal pasts. Others seemed largely fine until they attacked. All but were male and the vast majority were between the ages of 20 and 49. More than half — 88 of them — died at or near the scene of the shooting, often by killing themselves…so mass shooters are often not even thinking about living to “tell the tale” or gloat in their madness. So I sincerely doubt that you or me having a gun with which to defend ourselves will deter their madness in any way…in fact it might just provide more of a challenge to them. Why? Because they are freaking, crazy nut-bars! Remember?

Just so you know, here is a computer rendering of an average mass shooter in America taken from the analysis and conglomeration of faces of 39 recent mass American killers. Notice anything that might give you a clue as to what to look out for in the future as you make it through your typical daily life adventures?

It’s white men who are most often the perpetrators behind mass violence! More than 50 percent of shooters are white. That’s more than three 1/2 times the likelihood of a black shooter and despite misconceptions of terrorists from the Middle East killing Americans, only 4 percent of mass shooters are Middle Eastern.

Which brings us to another question: Why do we spend trillions of dollars on our military and on waging wars in far off countries in efforts to protect our freedom and to keep us safe from immigrants who “just want to come over here and kill us” when we Americans are the ones who do almost all of the killing in America? The average yearly score is something like 35,000 to 6! So put down the phone and get out of the house! The killer is in the house!

Even American toddlers out kill terrorists (accidentally of course) and that’s only when they have access to guns, which is why gun owners live more dangerous lives than non gun owners…but do we have a war on toddlers? Of course not.

Let’s face it. Americans enjoy killing, especially with guns. It is our preferred method of murder and of suicide. We may even have a gun parade this fall in the middle of Washington D.C….And when our President goes on his speaking rallies he mentions a stronger military and the crowd goes wild! When he says that he has done more to protect our 2nd Amendment rights in his first year as President than any other President…the crowd goes wild! When he says that he will build a wall and keep murdering, horrible, shit hole foreigners out of our country…the crowd goes Ape shit!

This is what we do people. Among the industrialized nations of the world, We are first in childhood poverty and first in military expenditures! We are first in childhood hunger and first in gun ownership! We are first in school shootings and first in children without access to proper healthcare! Is it any wonder that we are first in crazy?

Right now people on Twitter are trashing the children in Florida for demonstrating against gun violence. The White House is blaming the FBI as a useless, corrupt, wasteful organization that needs to be purged and even many of our leaders of faith are taking the side of the poor innocent AR-15 because what we have here is not a gun problem… it’s a social disease that can only be cured with more Jesus.

Well, we Americans do have some kind of disease and whatever it is we’ve got it bad. So bad that many of us can no longer even accept that we have a disease or were ever even sick in the first place.

Let’s face it we have all of the signs of addiction: We have a problem but won’t do anything about it. When someone else points out that we have a problem we refuse to believe it. We think someone else has the problem. We accept no solutions, because we have no problem in the first place. When our pusher/provider (The NRA) tells us that what we need is more product…we buy more product. And when and if the law does come around to try to penalize us we bad mouth the law.

Cravings, Tolerance, Dependence, Poor Judgement, Withdrawal, Neglect. We’ve got all of the signs! We’re Gunaholics! Firearms have become our heroine…our drug of choice…and we can’t get sober… and we are not about to go cold turkey on our guns any time soon. Nohow, noway.

So what do we do? When you are an addict there are only two ways to go. Withdrawal or Overdose and as everyone who has ever been an addict or been with an addict knows…it is up to the addict to decide. So which way will America go? What shall we decide? I have no clue but I would offer up one suggestion as we move forward.

Please don’t let us white guys lead the way. We will trick you at every turn.

 

 

 

 

 

The Illegality of Being

1 Mar

Image result for illegal immigrantsImage result for illegal immigrants

1.4 million…. That’s the number of Americans who have been shot and killed by Americans, here in America,  since 1975.

0…. That’s the number of Americans who have been killed in terror attacks from the 7 countries targeted in President Trump’s proposed immigration ban.

And yet the President of the United States is not only planning to re-instate his travel ban but is also likely to sign a bill this week, sent to him by Congress, that will repeal a regulation signed by President Obama that required the Social Security Administration to report to the Attorney General individuals receiving certain kinds of Social Security mental health disability benefits so that this information could be used in firearm background checks.

So while our government is now working hard to make the simple act of “being” an alien (illegal or not) in America a crime… it is also working hard to make it a little easier for all Americans (mentally ill or not) to obtain a firearm in America.

Plus, the average likelihood of an American being killed in a terrorist attack in which an immigrant participated in any given year is one in 3.6 million — even including the 9/11 deaths. The average American is more likely to die from a toddler with a gun than an immigrant terrorist.

If 30,000+ gun deaths each year don’t bother us then why should having a 3.6 million to 1 chance of being killed by a terrorist on American soil be of any concern at all?

This is an odd way to make America safe… again?… or still?… is it not? And ironically enough, while It really won’t make Americans any safer, it just might make immigrants who can’t get into our country, a little safer, because they won’t have to worry about being shot by Americans… or their toddlers… with guns… Go figure!

 

Why Do We Do What We Do?

11 Feb

Image result for movie violence

Here’s something interesting: According to new Pediatrics research PG-13 movies feature 23% more gun violence than do R rated movies.

According to the Motion Picture Association of America’s film rating system:
PG-13 – Parents Strongly Cautioned
Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. Parents are urged to be cautious. Some material may be inappropriate for pre-teenagers.
R – Restricted
Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian. Contains some adult material. Parents are urged to learn more about the film before taking their young children with them.

So in order to compensate for less “adult material” we add more gun violence to our movies? Is this so we can make them equally entertaining?

ergo: movies +sex+violence+adults = movies -sex-adults +1/4more gun violence?

It’s just curious that we live in a society where guns are revered and violence is accepted as a natural bi-product of that reverence, yet the viewing of sexual activity is still considered damaging to the youthful brain and not something to talk about or a natural bi-product of life at all.

And here we are worrying about the extreme vetting of foreigners who want to enter our country not because we are worried about them having sex with us but because we fear they might do violence to us.

Yet, we will not extremely vet our own citizens who want to purchase guns, even though they are the ones most likely to do violence to us and each other over 32,000 times each year…which is just about 32,000 times more than foreigners will or actually do.

Something to think about the next time you’re watching a movie, having sex or shooting someone?

To Frisk or Not To Shoot? Is That the Question or the Answer?

1 Oct

Image result for what do we call the establishment of law and order without due process of rights

Donald Trump likes to accuse Hillary Clinton of plotting to eliminate the 2nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. That’s the Amendment that guarantees Americans the right to bear arms. But I seriously doubt that she’s even considering such a proposal because:

Currently 31 states allow folks to openly bear their arms in public while 8 states allow you to bear them in secret. All of the other states allow one or the other or both, as long as you’ve obtained a permit. So here in the United States we’re pretty much in love with our arms. And by arms, of course, I actually mean weapons and not those anatomical extensions on your shoulders.

Anyway, here in the U.S. we love our weapons so much that we have over 300 million of them on hand and available to the general public. And those are just the ones in our homes without even counting the ones in our stores!

Which is why I find it most unusual that every time someone is shot by the police the police always explain the shooting by saying, “They had a gun! so we had to shoot them! Or at least we thought they did” (which is almost the same thing police-wise) But as I’ve just explained, it’s not illegal to have a gun in the United States. In fact it’s so legal that almost every state allows them to be on your person when in public.

How do the police know if you have a legal permit to own that gun that you have, while they are shooting at you, if they don’t even bother to ask to see your permit before they start shooting? It’s always “He’s got a gun! He’s got a gun!” And then Blam, blam, blam, blam, blam! (they never, ever, just shoot once)

Why do we always assume that having a gun out in public  makes one a criminal, when it’s not a crime to have a gun out in public in all but 6 states? (and it’s legal in those 6 states too, with a permit) Have you ever wondered that? How come when one police officer shouts, “He’s got a gun!” The other officer doesn’t shout back, “Maybe he’s got a permit?” Or…”We’re in a state where it’s legal to have one in public!”

So why are the police always shooting people who possess a gun, or who they suspect of possessing one, when we live in a country where the 2nd Amendment to our constitution says that they are allowed to posses a gun and half the country is absolutely gaga over that being the most important amendment to our constitution? Might the police have another reason? I’m only asking because I don’t know. Do you?

Which brings me to my next point. Donald Trump, himself a staunch supporter of the 2nd Amendment and an opponent of gun control legislation and with the endorsement of the NRA for his candidacy for the Presidency of the United States, says that he has a solution for gun crime in America. And it’s simple. All we have to do is empower the police to stop and frisk bad people and if they find a gun on that frisked person? Take it!

So, if we infringe upon a citizen’s 1st Amendment rights by illegally searching them and then violate that citizen’s 2nd Amendment rights by seizing his or her gun, and then if we deny the due process afforded to citizens in the 5th and 14th Amendments…we can solve the problems of crime and murder in America. It’s so easy you’d think that that Constitutional Amendment hating Hillary What’s-Her-Name would have thought of this already!

And it will be no inconvenience at all (to have our rights infringed) because I know that I’m not going to be stopped and frisked. Just look at me. Do I look like a bad guy? And you know they won’t stop and frisk you because…well, do you look like a bad guy? Certainly not! The police will only be stopping and frisking dangerous and criminal types like…you know, like the ones they have already been accidentally shooting lately.

The only problem I have with Mr. Trump’s plan is: The police could be frisking and disarming suspects right now to find out if they have a gun before shooting them for having a gun, but they can’t seem to get close enough to do so. They always seem to get to the shooting part before the frisking part.

And since our lawmakers, empowered by the NRA, like Mr. Trump, keep making it easier to own and carry a gun in public places how can we also make it illegal to own and carry a gun in public places? That sounds insanely counter intuitive to me. How does it sound to you? And if it is legal to openly carry my gun in 44 states, why do I need to be stopped and frisked at all? Why Can’t I just show the police my gun and be on my way?

Perhaps it is me (or maybe you) that they’re afraid of and not my gun? Or maybe it is the gun? Duh! But then again does the ownership of a gun make only certain folks more dangerous while making other folks not so much? One need only go back to the origins of the 2nd Amendment to figure that one out.

What this November’s election is going to come down to is not whether Americans need better jobs and more secure borders but rather whether or not Americans need to retain their constitutional rights as they pertain to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness!…especially women, children and all persons of color.

Unless of course for you, “Making America Great Again” means to make America great just for white men… again.

 

 

 

The 2nd Amendment Isn’t the Only Amendment

30 Aug

Image result for 1st amendment

And all Americans should know that as can be attested to by the 2nd Amendment’s name…

San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick’s has refused to stand during recitations of the national anthem at football games in a personal attempt to protest police brutality in the United States. Consequently this has many conservative Americans up in arms, including Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump.

Which I find quite interesting because conservatives are supposed to be the ones who have less of an inclination towards change or liberal interpretations… of, say… the Constitution of the United States of America! As in the 1st Amendment which guarantees freedom of speech and the right to peaceably protest without fear of government reprisal.

So Mr. Kaepernick would like to protest, which is his 1st Amendment right to do so, in front of America’s football fans, just like he has the right to carry a gun and shoot himself in front of America if he so chooses. And you can bet that Conservatives all across this great land would defend his right to do just that (after having staged the appropriate moment of silence before prying said gun out of his cold dead hands)

But when Mr. Kaepernick exercises his 1st Amendment right to free speech and protest, so called Conservative pundits are going hog wild with apoplexy and are making comments like. “How dare he!” “He’s UN-American!””He must be a Muslim!” “But I thought his parents were white?”(which of course is a prerequisite for American contentment?)

And then even that great Constitutional scholar, Donald Trump, chimed in with “Why doesn’t he go find another country?” (Also his immigration policy)

Yes, we live in the land of the free and the home of the brave but how dare anyone be brave enough to exercise their freedom  by protesting that which they find disturbing or inequitable about their government or country.

This is America after all so sit down and shut up… or rather stand up and place your hand over your heart and shut up…no don’t shut up. Just sing! About the ramparts and the red glare and about how the country fought for its freedoms because freedom isn’t free and that’s why we have the 2nd Amendment, which is the only really true and important amendment, so when you get frustrated and angry with your government that you feel no longer serves the people you can go out and get your gun and then just shut up and shoot someone…

No wait…that can’t be right can it???

Damn liberals!

 

 

Rhetorical Question

18 Jul

This week is the opening of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland Ohio.

Ohio is a traditional open-carry state. The open-carry of firearms by those who legally possess the firearm is a legal activity in Ohio with or without a license.

But this week, in the wake of gun violence across the country, the head of a Cleveland police union called on Ohio’s Governor John Kasich to declare a state of emergency and suspend the open carry gun law, during the Republican convention.

The union head said that he was concerned about copycat shootings at the Republican convention, but a spokeswoman for Governor Kasich said that the governor did not have the power to suspend Ohio’s open carry law.

However, as everyone in the Republican party knows, guns do not kill people. So why should there be any problem?

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