You Say Potato…and I Say Noble

President Trump had a Twitter fit this weekend…for a  change…(does all of his obsessive tweeting make him a twit?) and called for all of the “fake” reporters of the “fake news” to give up their “Noble” awards.

Said our President:

“When will all of the “reporters” who have received Noble Prizes for their work on Russia, Russia, Russia, only to have been proven totally wrong (and, in fact, it was the other side who committed the crimes) be turning back their cherished “Nobles” so that they can be given to the REAL REPORTERS & JOURNALISTS who got it right.”

And the leader of the free world? added:

“Lawsuits should be brought against all, including the Fake News Organizations, to rectify this terrible injustice. For all of the great lawyers out there, do we have any takers? When will the Noble Committee Act? Better be fast!”

The Noble committee? Of course we know he meant to tweet Nobel (even if he didn’t)… but he quickly deleted the tweet when he no doubt realized (was told) that he had misspelled Nobel. (Spelling? Is that even a thing for our President?) However he then tweeted that he was being sarcastic (does he know what that word means?) like when he suggested on live television that we use household cleaning products like bleach to disinfect our insides (and some of his minions did just that!) or try to shine a miniature but bright light onto our bodies…from the inside out! (I’m sure that someone tried this too)

Really? Does anyone (with half a brain) believe that he was being sarcastic either time? Did he look, sound or act as though he was being sarcastic?

It gives me no pleasure nor does it do me or anyone else any good to say…that our POTUS is a nut-bar. He says the most inane and insane things.

His above tweet suggested that a lawyer should come forward and sue reporters for reporting what every one of our nations intelligence organizations and intelligence committees reported to him to be the truth… about Russia interfering in our elections! 

He said it was the other side who committed that crime. The other side would be us!

He doesn’t know Noble from Nobel. And even if he does he believes that those in charge of the Nobel awards give awards to newspaper reporters…which they don’t… and even if they did… he believes that that distinguished and august body does not know what they are doing!?

He is not aware that bleach and other household cleaning products are poisonous.

He believes that with some testing doctors could figure out a way to light up the inside of our bodies in order to kill viruses.

He reads with his fingers. Which is OK if you’re not good at reading and you have to speak in public…but not if you are the President of…anything! And when President Trump does it you can tell that it is partly because he has never read or has absolutely no knowledge of what it is he is about to read. He doesn’t proof read. He doesn’t prepare. When he comes across something that is news to him (almost everything he reads) he pauses and then starts to riff on whatever startlingly bit of knowledge he has suddenly discovered…and that’s when Mr. Nut-bar appears.

He wears facial make-up everyday. Have you ever seen President Trump without his face on? Even when he golfs he has his makeup on. Who puts makeup on to go golfing?

Tammy Faye Bakker?…maybe? 

And yet despite all of his lying, bullying, lack of knowledge and an inability to show empathy or sympathy for anything or anyone his supporters still adore him…and not only adore him but make excuses for him and his poor behavior so that he doesn’t have to.

I believe that only 3 things could possibly cause his base of support to finally crumble and fall away.

1.  He appears in public in a military uniform.

2.  He appears in public without his makeup on.

3.  He cries in public…and his makeup runs.

Other than any of those three things happening he has as good a chance as ever to be re-elected in November. And that frightens me more than anything that has ever happened in America during my lifetime.

Just imagine… a resurgence of the Covid19 pandemic and the re-election of President Donald Trump occurring in the same month later this year…

 

 

There are more important things than living!

I didn’t say that.

The Governor of Texas, Dan Patrick said that.

Here is what he told Tucker Carlson on Fox TV earlier this week:

“Every life is valuable, but 500 people out of 29 million and we’re locked down, and we’re crushing the average worker. We’re crushing small business. We’re crushing the markets. We’re crushing this country…There are more important things than living. And that’s saving this country for my children, and my grandchildren and saving this country for all of us…And I don’t want to die, nobody wants to die, but man, we got to take some risks and get back in the game, and get this country back up and running.”

So what do you think? Would you jump in the volcano to save your country’s finances?

What is more important than living?

I’d like to hear your thoughts in the comments section…please.

Thanks!

I have a feeling I’m not in Jersey Anymore

This is what came down our street earlier this week! And it announced its arrival with the sound of a freight train, which was quite frightening because we don’t live near any train tracks. And it swept through our neighborhood like the monster from the Id did when it came for Dr. Morbius in Forbidden Planet, with trees tossed to and fro and houses be damned.

But do I live in Kansas or Oklahoma or somewhere else in the Midwest? Nope. I live in New Jersey… and near the beach!

Whatever happened to storms? You know, the kind the dictionary describes like this: a disturbance of the atmosphere marked by wind and usually by rain, snow, hail, sleet, or thunder and lightning… but NOT ALL AT ONCE!

Good grief! What’s happened to New Jersey?! That quiet little corner of the world east of the Delaware River tucked in between 2 other states big cities. Home of parkways and turnpikes and interstates peppered with rest stops serving pork roll and cheese sandwiches? Where a gas station or big lot store or Pizza Town can be found on most street corners? You know, The Garden State! Where did it go?

Because now it’s become a terrifying cornucopia of weather phenomena and disaster! What ever happened to the old New Jersey we New Jersians had come to know and love? The New Jersey where nothing exciting ever happened? The New Jersey that people from the north, south and western states only came to so they could drive to New Jersey’s eastern edge… and jump off!…into the ocean?!

We used to have seasons here in Jersey. Now we ride a weather roller coaster like the one we were on last Tuesday: 60 degrees and sunny, then dark ominous clouds riding in on the Southern Central Freight… a tornado! with rain, hail and snow…followed by sunny skies and temps below freezing!

Sometimes a hurricane will just decide to do an unannounced drive by. They used to visit every 25 years or so. And thunderstorms? Now we have thunder days with sideways lightning! In the winter! Or what used to be winter. Now it’s more like Wintummerspralling. In 2018  the Delaware Bay froze in January, the all-time monthly record for the warmest minimum temperature was set in August, followed by the wettest fall in 70 years and we even had a meteotsunami that May!(don’t even ask)!

Who knows what going to happen next?

Even the weather service doesn’t know what’s going on. They called this week’s tornado an “Incredible wind event”…just a few more feet into the ocean and we could have has a Sharkdado! but I’m sure that would have been called and incredible shark flying event…with wind!

No one seems to know what’s going on but we now have sometimes snow-less winters, all year round bugs and jellyfish, leaves that fall at Christmastime, flowers that bloom in February… and wineries! There’s no wining in Jersey! Who ever said, “Hey, lets go to Joisey and taste some wines. And fughettabout the pizza and the pork roll. Have the flatbread…and get the avocados?”

What the frig???

There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.

Crap!

I’m still here! Wherever this is?!?!

Joisey? Oh, you ain’t gonna see him no more.

 

Earth Strikes Back?!

Whatever happened to Earth Day? I remember the first one back in 1970 and I remember the sense of urgency that people were feeling then about the planet and air and water pollution and the overuse of fossil fuels and cars and oil and gasoline and carcinogens being everywhere and in everything etc…

We were all worried that if we didn’t change our ways then the future for ourselves and our loved ones would be bleak and filled with more pollution and harder times and wars over oil and…then… what happened? We seemed to just forget about it.
I blame my generation, which was in college at the time, for dropping the ball. We all graduated got jobs, got married, had children and joined the rat race and stopped paying attention and started shopping, eating out and driving SUVs…how did that happen?

Now the Earth is 1 and a half degrees warmer, (3 degrees warmer in NJ!) our cars get only 25 miles per gallon, everything is made in China where the sun never breaks through the industrial haze, we still go to war to protect our oil interests, drill the oceans and frack the very core of our planet in search of more of the same old fossil fuels… and cows are force fed corn until their stomachs explode.

And that poor old Native American with the tear running down his cheek is now crying bankruptcy in his casino…

I wonder what the odds were of that happening?

And still we pay little attention to the health and well being of our most precious and pale blue island floating solemnly amidst the enormity of the universe.

And speaking of the 70’s I remember living and driving in the 1970s when the speed limit of the land was 55 MPH and set there as a way to save gas and oil and curb our need of foreign oil. And we were also concerned about pollution back then and the ecology and the ecosystems of our planet, or at least we said we were. We seemed to be trying. And we had hostages in Iran, and OPEC was ruling the day and we needed to change our dependence on oil and fossil fuels…

And now here we are in 2020! It’s 50 years later and We are still held hostage by the fear of terrorist groups or some rogue state cutting off our oil supplies.  So we now bust open every inch of the earth on our own homeland in an endless search for more fossil fuels for us to waste on our highways, in our wars and with our modern devices of leisure and convenience…

Yet somehow the vast majority of us have come to believe that none of this is doing any great harm to our world. And even if some of us do, it does not seem to affect our participation in the madness of it all. 7.8 billion humans strong, living and breathing and polluting each and every day, with still many, many more polluters to come…

Imagine traveling at 80 MPH, let’s say in our SUV…impossible I know but let’s just imagine for a minute that we can…it would only take us about 3 hours to reach the end of Earth’s atmosphere…all around our planet… about the distance from North Jersey to Washington D.C…that’s it. 3 hours of air and then you would be driving off into space and hoping that your car’s air conditioning would save you while you try to turn around. Of course it wouldn’t because the guy behind you would be flashing his lights and honking his horn while yelling at you to get out of the damn way…plus the air conditioning thing wouldn’t work…but you knew that, right?

But I digress, because my point is that we all live in a material world and have no intention to go quietly into that good night. Unless some scientists come up with a way to save the planet from ourselves and then get the dumb asses in Congress to believe them, rather than take Big Corporate’s money and continue to commit global suicide, I fear none of the rest of us will care nor take the time to pay any attention to what’s going on around us to see our own end approaching.

Because it now appears that while we are going about our merry little ways here on Earth, all of the digging and fracking and strip mining and jungle clearing has caused the Earth to spit up viruses the likes of which no human has ever seen since…well, since humans first saw one another and the Earth first saw us!

An Earth virus moves about the Earth at will…lying in wait, latching on to, destroying or occupying or re-engineering or adapting to whatever other living organism it comes across without respect or regards to whom or whatever it may be affecting.

Just like we human beings do.

And here we are in the Spring of 2020, in the midst of yet another Earth virus, and while half of us are frightened out of our minds because we fear that this could be the Earth’s disinfecting answer to us pesky human beings, the other half is merely just angry about not being able to shop and spend and play and wreak havoc all day like they always do…planet be damned!

And they are even prepared to ransom off as ever many of the the rest of us they need to dear Mother Earth and her silly little counter attack just for the pleasure of continuing to do so. After all what’s a few thousand…hundred thousand… or even million… lives lost when you have 7.8 billion to spare?! Silly Earth! Do you know who you are dealing with? We are some pretty rough and ruthless Mother Earth Effers, that’s who!

But Sooner or later this planet is going to shake us all off like a bad cold…or maybe not… I guess we’ll just have to wait and see…that is if any of us plan on paying attention at the time…

My apologies Earth day… Mother Earth… Your prodigal sons and daughters really do still hope that you live a long and happy life, even though we don’t seem to think about you very often, and allow us to live here happily with you because…

Where would we ever be without you?

At least until the Sun explodes.

How will we know?

How will we know when this Corona virus crisis is over?

When will we be absolutely sure that it is safe to go out and about in public again?

When the politicians say so? When the doctors say so? When the Employers say so?

No. I believe that we will know when it is finally and truly safe again to run and play and shop and dine and congregate and mingle among one another when the athletes say so…and by that I mean when the PROFESSIONAL athletes say so.

Almost all of today’s professional athletes are millionaires and almost all of today’s professional sports team owners are billionaires and as such have access to their own professional doctors, lawyers, nutritionists, specialists of all kind and manner, and no doubt, medical test kits too! (of all kind and form… no doubt either)

No professional athlete will take to the field or court or rink or arena or stadium and jeopardize their livelihood, fame, fortune, family and health without the say so and approval of their entire entourage. And no owner will open his or herself up to class action lawsuits by exposing thousands of fans to their prized athletes (not to mention to one another) and become responsible for creating another pandemic… unless they are 100 % absolutely, positively, certifiably sure that it is safe to do so.

So when you hear the words “Play Ball!” and actually see the professionals playing ball then you will know that it’s safe to go “back in the water” or anywhere else that you want to go. Until then I say we’re all on our own as to what we want to do, or think we can do, even after the “authorities” give us the all clear.

So beware, be safe, Good luck and Godspeed to everyone! Keep your distance and protect yourself and loved ones as best you can. And big thanks to all of those who make the great sacrifice of caring for the stricken in hospitals and healthcare facilities around the country and thanks also to those who are still working in essential jobs on a daily basis while millions of us can only stay at home…and wait….and wait.

 

 

 

The President is Smarter Than WHO?

DEM: The President is smarter than WHO?

REP: That is correct!

DEM: No. I mean who is the President smarter than?

REP: WHO!

DEM: That’s what I’d like to know!

REP: That’s what he’s telling you! President Trump is smarter than WHO.

DEM: WHA?

REP: No! Not the World Hockey Association! The President does not play hockey.

DEM: Well look, the President has to be smarter than somebody. So who is it?

REP: Naturally!

DEM: So The President is smarter than Naturally?

REP: No. WHO!

DEM: Naturally!

REP: That makes no sense at all. For the last time…The President is smarter than WHO!

DEM: Naturally!

REP: Now you’ve got it!

DEM: I don’t even know what I’m talking about!

REP: Well if you don’t know what you’re talking about that’s 2nd base.

DEM: Oh… the Vice President.

Welcome to the White House!

 

 

 

 

Just Lower Your Expectations

“I give myself a ten out of ten.” “We are very close to a vaccine.”

“I don’t take responsibility at all.”

“Anybody who needs a test can get a test. And the tests are perfect. Like the letter was perfect. The transcript was perfect.”

“They have the tests. And the tests are beautiful. Anybody that needs a test gets a test.

“I’m not getting paid and nobody gives me credit for that. George Washington got paid.”

“We don’t want the cure to be worse than the disease.”

“We have 15 cases right now and pretty soon it will be down to zero.”

“When the warm weather gets here it will likely disappear like a miracle.”

“We’re going to be able to make that drug available almost immediately. It’s a tremendous breakthrough” and a potential “game-changer.”

“I know as much about this virus as even some of the experts know. Who knew I was so good at this stuff?”

“Nobody knew how bad this was going to be? It was a surprise to everybody!”

“If all goes well we should be ready to get America back to work by Easter”

If you thought that you heard the President of the United States say these things or if you thought that you saw the President say these things on TV while you were watching it then you are simply being nasty by repeating what you think your thought you heard or saw. It was all fake news…even if you thought you saw it live and on TV! Apparently the fake-newsers are really good at faking the news…really, really good.

The networks can do that now! Didn’t you know? All of them except Fox that is. Fox is incapable of telling untruths. It’s just how they do.

Anyway, the truth is now in! I know (I think) because I just saw it live on Television and it came straight from the President’s face and mouth. And the story is completely different from the story it first was or rather we first thought it was. The story has done a complete 180 as the President and his virus team seem to have “gotten religion” (or perhaps lost religion?) when it comes to the cold hard facts of the Corona-virus or as it is also known,  Covid19.

So here is the bad news:

The Corona-virus is really bad and really contagious! It’s not going away any time soon! Somewhere between 100,000 and 200,000 Americans will die before it is all over. And that is a good thing because the President and his experts only just learned that 2.2 million Americans would have died if the President had not taken action when he did. which was long before you and I might have thought he did.

The President did add however, that he initially considered taking no action at all, rather allowing the virus to run its course like the flu.”I thought about it,” he said. “I said maybe we should ride it through. You know, Ride it like a cowboy.” Had that been done, President Trump said, health officials estimated 1.6 to 2.2 million people in the U.S. would die.

Now for the good news:

Somewhere between 100,000 and 200,000 Americans will die from the Corona-virus before this pandemic is over. And why is that good news?…Because the President and his administration are doing great things to help stop the viruses spread which should reach it’s peak by April 12th and then diminish to levels where things can get back to normal by April 30th…or maybe June 1st…or maybe after the summer is over. We just don’t know.

And for some reason the virus has hit America harder than any other country in the world so far because Americans are different from other people, or so it seems…maybe, but just exactly why we don’t know…yet.

It could be because half of us (U.S.) just don’t believe what the other half of us (U.S.) have to say at any given time…or as Kellyanne Conway once so aptly put it “There are alternate facts.” And each state in these United States is rightly (or wrongly) currently living according to their own alternative realities. Somewhere the sun is shining and the beaches are full while in other-wheres masked citizens sit together but 6 feet apart in their little pink houses.

What to do? Perhaps start by lowering your expectations? It could get worse? It could get better? It could all disappear with the heat of Spring? Or Summer?… Or not at all because some of the science (science?) shows that it could all just come back in the fall…or as the President just tweeted…and tweeted…

Donald J. Trump

✔@realDonaldTrump

Because the “Ratings” of my News Conferences etc. are so high, “Bachelor finale, Monday Night Football type numbers” according to the @nytimes, the Lamestream Media is going CRAZY. “Trump is reaching too many people, we must stop him.” said one lunatic. See you at 5:00 P.M.!

140K

1:06 PM – Mar 29, 2020

Donald J. Trump

✔@realDonaldTrump

“President Trump is a ratings hit. Since reviving the daily White House briefing Mr. Trump and his coronavirus updates have attracted an average audience of 8.5 million on cable news, roughly the viewership of the season finale of ‘The Bachelor.’ Numbers are continuing to rise…

125K

1:48 PM – Mar 29, 2020

So Don’t Worry America! Be Happy!

The virus may be rampant…

The Stock Market may be crashing…

But:

The Ratings are great!

(P,S, Stay safe everyone and take good care!)