Addendum

 

“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Just don’t get sick while you’re here…

or your shit-outa-luck…

And forget about dying.

You’ll never be able to afford burying yourself.

but you were tired, wretched, homeless and poor when you arrived…

So what were you expecting?

Freedom just isn’t free.

It’s also for profit.

So sail away, back to where you came from.

And don’t let the lamp hit you on the way out that golden door.

 

 

I’ve Gone Cross-eyed!

Tweet! Tweet!

Our American President is all a twitter! He has tweeted that he is the subject of a witch hunt for being investigated for firing a man that he was told to fire. “I am being investigated for firing the FBI Director by the man who told me to fire the FBI Director!” tweeted our biggest bird.

However it was the President himself who asked for the letter from the man recommending the firing of the other man by “THE” Man.

And then “THE” Man went on television to tell the reporter man that he was going to fire the man whether or not the other man recommended it or not. “I was going to fire Comey– my decision. There is no good time to do it, by the way,” Trump told NBC News’s Lester Holt. “I was going to fire him regardless of recommendation.”

So the man was getting fired by “THE” man anyway no matter what the other man said in a letter, or recommendation or not.

So “THE Man told the man to write a letter detailing why the man should be fired by “THE” Man even though “THE” Man was going to fire the man in the first place which has now prompted “THE” Man to tweet that the man wouldn’t have been fired by “THE” Man if the man hadn’t told “THE” man to fire the man in the second place even though “THE” Man had already made up his own mind to fire the man…and now we’re back to the first place!

And now I’ve gone cross-eyed! How about you?

 

He’s Just a Caveman

The United States of America, as both a country and a T.V. show, has without a doubt “jumped the shark”!

Back in the early 1990’s the late Phil Hartman of Saturday Night Live fame would often play the character of the “Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer”. In his sketches featuring this character he would play a Neanderthal who, after being discovered in a glacier and then unfrozen, became a defense and personal injury lawyer and eventually a politician running for the Senate on the platform of eliminating the capital gains tax.

He was portrayed as a “selfish, well-dressed attorney who repeatedly would employ simple folk wisdom  to win his cases.” He also enjoyed significant wealth, driving luxury cars and owning a home on Martha’s Vineyard. But whenever he made a mistake or committed a faux pas or said something crude or rude or out of line he would excuse himself and carry the day with his jury by uttering the line, ” But I’m just a caveman who is not familiar with the ways of the world.”

It struck me this week that our president is a lot like that, or at least that is how his fellow Republicans have decided to excuse his constant rude, crude and boorish behavior.

Whether our President lies or contradicts himself or shoves a fellow statesman out of the way, or insults this diplomat or that public servant, decries the American judicial system, mocks the handicapped, insults women, issues false accusations, tweets inarticulate and incoherent statements, exalts foreign dictators while demeaning friendly heads of state… and on and on and on… the fall back position for his indelicate conduct has become:

“He just doesn’t know how to be a politician. He’s a simple American learning on the job and trying to do the best he can for the American people.” (Like all you American simpleton’s out there?)

So don’t worry America. Our President… despite being a 70 year old billionaire who was able to build a real estate empire, run a presidential campaign and win the United States Presidency… is just a common man, unfamiliar with the ways of the modern world, justice and common human decency, who is going to learn how to be a better person and president while on the job.

And I’m a monkey’s Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer!

It’s A Secret…

Shhhhhhh… Because here in 21st century America if it has to do with our government…our government doesn’t want to talk about it. Oh they’re investigating it, whatever “it” may be… but whatever it is that they are finding is too delicate for “we the people” to know about. I suppose we might get upset and decide not to go shopping, which I think has become the American citizen’s only national duty. (and use a credit card please, while doing so)

Other than that we are to be left in the fog of disputed facts and testimonies, various and sundry leaks and tweets and obligatory 5th amendment pleas…and lets not forget the distorted and dark glassed perspectives of opposing political parties and their networked counterparts.

What’s going on inside America’s hallowed halls of government these days? Oh we can talk about it. We just can’t say anything with certainty. No absolutes please. It’s under investigation so we’ll get back to you on that as soon as it’s determined whether or not it’s appropriate to discuss in public.

We’ve ascertained some facts and we’re even following up on some appropriate suspicions. We’ve even gathered some information both dubious and not…so we’ll get back to you on that after our intelligence committees finish their…committeeing? Is that a word?

We’ll investigate and we’ll let you know…

In the mean time, and as Russian President, Putin, would say, “Don’t worry. Be happy!”