Tag Archives: internet

America’s Racoonteurs?

14 May

Here is a post that I recently saw on Facebook. It was posted by a supporter of President Trump and then copied and pasted by other loyal Trump supporters to their own Facebook pages to help explain to all other Americans why Donald Trump is the best man for the job of President of the United States.

In Summary: They, President Trump supporters, just want to get rid of the damn raccoons that have been infesting America. And that is the… one and only thing… that they care about. And President Trump is the one and only guy who understands what they want and who will do what they want… because the raccoons have got to go!

The best way to tell that what you believe in is wrong is when you know that you can’t say it out loud. When you rant and rave and preach and proclaim about what it is that makes you so angry but then when it comes time to name that one thing that makes you so mad you have to say “raccoon”  rather that what you really mean.

So who are the “raccoons” that 40% of American voters hate so much? Anyone care to guess…or say it out loud?

 

 

Leggo My Wall!

30 Jan

I received this add in my Email the other day from a website known as keepandbear.com…perhaps you’ve heard of it? Apparently their newest “toy” has been removed from their website by what they call a “large overseas toy company with deep pockets and lawyers” (Could it be Lego?)

And they have been threatened with a “devastating lawsuit”  (could it be because their toy is a rip off of Lego?) and finally even Facebook terminated their advertising account! (is that because Lego has a copyright on its blocks?)

And of course it is all a leftist, liberal conspiracy (trying to keep the toy wall from being built since the real wall has been terminated?) and an attempt to prevent maga children everywhere from building a miniature wall of their own while fantasizing no doubt about keeping fiendish immigrants away from themselves.

But don’t despair because they have set up a temporary on-line store for you to find and where you can purchase the “Build the Wall” play-set. It’s on sale for 30 bucks ($29.95) if you act now! And don’t just buy 1 buy 2 or 3! It’s certain to become a collector’s item. (I have no doubt about that!) They even have a GoFundMe page!

There are 101 pieces! Looks like it comes with 1 black base, 1 miniature President Trump, and 99 gray pieces of wall! (No illegal aliens included…miniatures, that is) So hurry! While supplies last! (I included the link if you’d like to check it out for yourself) It looks like a great imaginative toy for the inquisitive child who “just wants to build a big gray wall” and nothing else…

https://magafun.com/product/pre-order-build-the-wall-maga-building-blocks-toy/

I also included this T-shirt that’s also on sale (they have lots of Tees for you to peruse) because it just seems so apropos of the Trump supporter. Heaven has strict immigration policies? And a wall? (where is that written?) So I can’t even sneak in? Damn it!

Why is it that I have no doubt that all Trump voters believe that they already have their ticket to Heaven punched because they voted for the man that they believe is the Second coming of Christ? (BTW I recently saw the Reverend Franklin Graham being interviewed on MSNBC and he stated that he had absolutely no knowledge of President Trump ever telling a lie!…I kid you not) Their Heaven just sounds too easy to me. How about you?

Guns… In… Space!

17 Mar

Image result for guns in space

Space Cadets arise! It’s time to join the Space Force!

President Donald Trump has declared that space is a “theater of war”, and he has come up with the idea of creating a Space Force, a branch of the military that would operate outside of earth’s atmosphere….you know, like, in space!

“Space is a war-fighting domain, just like the land, air, and sea,”  The President recently told an audience of service members at a Marine Corps Air Station. “We may even have a Space Force, develop another one, Space Force. We have the Air Force, we’ll have the Space Force.”

He was so excited kids. He had to say it 3 times in a run-on sentence! (Do not try this in school)

Our forward thinking president then described how he’d originally coined the term as a joke, while discussing U.S. government spending and private investment in space. “I said, ‘maybe we need a new force, we’ll call it the Space Force,’ and I was not really serious. Then I said, ‘what a great idea,’ maybe we’ll have to do that!”

President Trump told this to a crowd of Marines and I am disappointed to say that they loved the idea… And even more disturbing, a contingent of House lawmakers in June proposed dividing the Air Force into two separate branches, one dedicated to aviation and a second, dedicated to space ventures. May the Force be with us!…and in space too!

The President (of the universe?) however, continued…”From the very beginning, many of our astronauts have been soldiers and air men, coast guard men and marines. And our service members will be vital to ensuring America continues to lead the way into the stars.”

And shoot them? …Sounds like a plan doesn’t it? But who will America fight out in space? We WILL need an enemy won’t we? Maybe that’s why we want to go to Mars…to establish a colony of Martians… and then invade!?…or maybe goad them into invading us? One can’t be too careful I guess.

Space is a gun free zone at the moment and with our luck some trigger happy, crazy, unloved, parent hating, alien loner from a far off planet where their constitution deifies weaponry, will wander into our air space (space space?) and start shooting up the thermosphere! (Hopefully just with like, guns… like we have)

Anyway, in case you might think I’m making this all up, Representative Mike Rogers, a Republican from Alaska and the biggest backer in Congress of a military space branch, said that directives have been included in the most recent National Defense Authorization bill that could facilitate the Space Corps plan in the future.

“This is just the first step,” said the Congressman. “We will not allow the United States national security space enterprise to continue to drift toward a space Pearl Harbor.”

Meanwhile, back on Earth, according to a report from Homeland Security in a department far, far away…Russian Earth-men have infiltrated our nuclear, electric and water power plant operating systems (which are still using software from a century far, far behind) and apparently remain there in cyberspace! (not space space)… waiting to…turn them off?… Should the situation or need arise???

And our President and our Congress have absolutely nothing to say about how they plan on defending us from that!

 

 

 

Don’t Cry for Me, Scandinavia

22 Feb

Image result for Scandinavia

President Trump likes to get most of his information and news from TV…you know, just like the average American does. Even though he says that the news media is the “enemy of the people” (That would be us) he still likes to watch Fox and Friends, CNN, NBC news, ABC, CBS, Saturday Night Live and then stay up late to tweet about all of it…to other people like him… who like to watch TV also.

He says that Fox and Friends is the only “Honorable” news program out there and that the rest are crap! and not just any old crap but the lying, deceitful, dishonest, scummy kind of crap. Between all of the TV he watches during the day and night, and the time it must take to apply his “tan” each day, I often wonder how he finds time to do other things like….be President of the United States!

Anyway, at a pep rally this weekend (why does a POTUS need to throw pep rallies? I haven’t been to one since high school… How about you?) President Trump  falsely suggested that there was an immigration-related security incident in Sweden and that Sweden was having serious problems with immigrants… Can you imagine that? Sweden? (his words, not mine) The President later said that his comment was based on a television report he had seen…on Fox News… about how dangerous life has become in Sweden!

Of course wouldn’t you know…This was news to Sweden… and they called the U.S. State Department for an explanation…who of course…didn’t have one! So a little bit later a White House spokeswoman told reporters that President Trump had been referring generally to rising crime in Sweden, not a specific incident in the Scandinavian country.

But official statistics show that Sweden’s crime rate has fallen since 2005!… even though it has taken in hundreds of thousands of immigrants from war-torn countries like Syria and Iraq…So the Swedish foreign minister decided to post on Twitter an excerpt of a speech in which she said democracy and diplomacy “require us to respect science, facts and the media.”

I guess in Scandinavia they don’t watch a lot of Fox news or Fox and Friends on their Swedish TV sets…but here in the United States watching television is how our President learns about reality and as a former Reality TV star he knows that Fox broadcasts facts and not the fake news that all of the other networks manufacture. And we know he knows this because he is like, smart. (his words not mine)

But seriously, wouldn’t you think that as the President of the United States you could get your facts from the people who work for you and not have to rely on watching TV at all? You have access to the Cabinet and the Congress and the Pentagon and 17 Intelligence Agencies and Secretaries General and even Modern Major Generals! Heck, you have a direct hot-line to all of the leaders of the world, not to mention Alexa, Siri and Google!

You are the 45th freaking President of The United States! Why, in the name of all that is holy, are you gleaning information about the world from a TV show called Fox and Friends and then regurgitating UN-verified and possibly “alternative facts” to a crowd of admirers at a pep rally that you’ve had staged for your own aggrandizement?!

WHEN YOU ARE ALREADY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!!!!!!

DON’T YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO????????

You’d like, think…like, wouldn’t you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

And the Counting Continues…

1 Jan

Happy New Year everyone and thank you for visiting my blog once again this year. There are 525,600 minutes in a year and in 2012, I crossed the 30 million mark in minutes spent on Earth

…So that means that as of midnight of the 31st of December this year I will arrive at 32,400,000!…but again, who’s counting? Still over 32 million minutes alive!? Is that an accomplishment or just something that breathing and waking up every day took care of for me? And why does it seem to have flown by so quickly…and keep accelerating all the time? Life in the fourth dimension took forever to move through when I was a child…but now it seems like I am definitely on the fast track to old age!

Anyway, thanks for continuing to slow yourself down every once in a while by taking the time to visit and read my blog…and please keep reading if you will, unless you can thing of a better way to spend your minutes.

In any case, do your best to Spend your time wisely …it may be a crazy and unpredictable world but it still is the only world in town.

I’ll be approaching the 33 million minute threshold sometime this year and I will do my best  to keep enjoying every minute of those minutes!

Do your best to enjoy each and every one of your minutes too.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Vlad the decider?

16 Dec

Image result for Putin decides US presidential election

Last week, the CIA revealed their most recent, top-secret assessment of the situation to lawmakers in Washington. The CIA, now believes that the Russians tampered with the American presidential election in order to help Trump win the presidency of the United States.

In fact it has even been revealed that this information was released to the presidential candidates back in August during an intelligence briefing. So both Hillary and Donald were aware that our intelligence agencies had targeted Russia as the ones who were responsible for the on going and continued hacking of our political system.

But President elect Donald Trump still doesn’t believe it and has publicly ridiculed our intelligence agencies (soon to be his responsibility) by basically saying, “What do they know?” He says it could have been anyone… like the Chinese or a man in New Jersey.

Of course that is not a denial, it’s an acknowledgement! President Trump agrees that our political system was hacked by someone or some group. He just doesn’t know who or why. And he doesn’t seem in the least bit disturbed by it nor do any of his supporters.

So if we are under cyber attack by the Chinese government…that’s better? That’s OK? Or how about a guy from New Jersey?! That’s better than being hacked by the Russians and Vladimir Putin?

Just some guy in New Jersey, sitting alone in his pajamas, is accessing private emails and tampering with election sites and who knows what all, on his personal computer…and all the king’s horsemen and all the king’s men can’t catch him? And the new king to be isn’t the least bit concerned????

And today it has been announced that  our Intelligence officials believe Russian President Vladimir Putin was personally involved. And they are fairly certain that he did it because he wanted Donal trump to win the United States Presidency and not Hillary Clinton who he personally dislikes. So in effect and for all intents and purposes, Vladimir Putin was a player in deciding the outcome of our National election.

But still says President-elect Trump: Why does it have to be Putin? It could be anybody. I dunno? I’m like a smart person and the CIA and FBI don’t know crap. Now excuse me, I’ve got to get to a rally to celebrate my victory…which I assure you is completely legitimate. (even though I lost by 3 million votes…but who is counting?)

Maybe by tomorrow when pork roll is mysteriously named our national bird we’ll know for sure that it was the guy from Joisey… But until then folks our president elect apparently couldn’t care less…and doesn’t that make you suspect that he’s known all along? Because isn’t the possibility that he doesn’t really care… completely and utterly frightening?!

Says Vladamir Putin: “Take the (smoking) gun. Leave the cannolis….”

 

Channeling a Former First Lady and Just Saying…

29 Oct

Image result for Melania Trump risque images

Melania Trump recently announced that if she were to become the First Lady, her focus would be on teaching children the right way to use social media,  as in— no bullying.

“I will focus on helping children and women, and also about social media. In this 21st century, what’s going on, it’s very hurtful to children. To some adults as well, but we need to take care of children.” Said the possible first lady.

Mr. Trump, our possible next president, added: “We need to teach them how to use it, what is right to say, what is not right to say, because it is very bad out there. I’ve seen so many people hurt so badly.”

Wow! Perhaps Mr. trump has seen so many people hurt so badly by social media because…oh well, you know…because he’s been the one leading the charge!

Anyway, on a lighter note, it is believed that Melania’s message to children everywhere, should she become the next First Lady of the United States,  will be a very simple and straight forward one. Something like:

Kids, when it comes to social media and bullying? Just Say LOL!

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