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Making America Safe…

20 Jul

https://i2.wp.com/i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2016/images/01/18/gfx-isis-attacks-northamerica.png

And From Whom?

According to CNN, since declaring its caliphate in June 2014, the self-proclaimed Islamic State has conducted or inspired at least 126 terrorist attacks in 23 countries other than Iraq and Syria. Those attacks have killed at least 1,735 people and injured thousands more.

In North America there have been 7 attacks inspired by ISIS

On October 23, 2014 A man with a hatchet attacked four police officers in New York. Police said the attacker, was self-radicalized and believed to have been inspired by ISIS. On May 3, 2015 — Two men opened fire outside a Prophet Mohamed cartoon contest in a Dallas suburb. The gunmen wounded a security guard before police shot and killed them. The attack is believed to have been inspired by ISIS. On November 4, 2015 — A University of California student stabbed four people before being shot to death by police. The FBI concluded the attack appeared to be terror-inspired. On December 2, 2015 — Tashfeen Malik and her husband, Syed Rizwan Farook, shot 14 people to death and injured 21 others at a gathering of local government health workers in San Bernardino, California. On January 8, 2016 — A man was arrested after a Philadelphia police officer was shot and wounded. The assailant later claimed to have committed the attack on ISIS’ behalf…
And On June 12, 2016 — A gunman killed 49 people at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida. The shooter, was killed by police three hours after taking hostages in the club. He was a 27-year old U.S. citizen of Afghan descent who pledged allegiance to ISIS in a 911 phone call during the siege. The attack is believed to have been inspired by ISIS.
There is no doubt that these have all been horrible attacks carried out in the name of a Radical Islamic organization, leaving 63 dead and 79 injured throughout North America. Many Americans are outraged and want these attacks avenged, no matter the cost and no matter how long it takes. America’s 2 political parties will be debating 24/7 how to solve this crisis for the next 5 months and beyond.
Earlier this year 100,000 citizens were discovered poisoned with lead in the Michigan city of Flint. The Governor of Michigan was hoping to save money for the state by rerouting the cities perfectly clean water supply through a corrosively polluted river and into the cities aging lead lined pipes. This went on for nearly 2 years before the state would admit to any wrong doing on their part.
We hear about ISIS every day on the news but Flint, Michigan? Not so much anymore. The Governor of Michigan just had to say “My bad” and everyone in America seems to be satisfied even though the residents of Flint will never, ever, recover from their lead poisoning.
Now Imagine for one second that ISIS had been responsible for the poisoning of 100,000 American citizens over the course of 2 years while American state government did nothing to stop it even though they had been aware of it all along.
That’s all I have…just imagine that…

Freedom to Ejaculate

18 Jul

Donald Trump’s presidential running mate, Governor Mike Pence of Indiana recently signed an anti abortion bill passed by the Indiana legislature. Mr Pence opposes all forms of abortion no matter the reason nor complication. He also hopes to help the Republican party De-fund Planned Parenthood if he and Donald trump are elected. I can only assume because all lives matter.

But have you ever noticed how men are never mentioned during the debate over abortion. A debate that continues even though the Supreme Court of the United States decided long ago that a living woman has more right to her body than an unborn fetus in the first trimester of pregnancy. And have you noticed  how in fact men are hardly ever in the conversation when it comes to the discussion of pregnancy and abortion rights in America… not even as a responsible party in the equation of life?

So vote for Trump/Pence because women are bad! And men must be allowed to freely ejaculate whenever, wherever and inside whomever they please…because men are good! Here’s to making America great again… one ejaculation at a time!

Rhetorical Question

18 Jul

This week is the opening of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland Ohio.

Ohio is a traditional open-carry state. The open-carry of firearms by those who legally possess the firearm is a legal activity in Ohio with or without a license.

But this week, in the wake of gun violence across the country, the head of a Cleveland police union called on Ohio’s Governor John Kasich to declare a state of emergency and suspend the open carry gun law, during the Republican convention.

The union head said that he was concerned about copycat shootings at the Republican convention, but a spokeswoman for Governor Kasich said that the governor did not have the power to suspend Ohio’s open carry law.

However, as everyone in the Republican party knows, guns do not kill people. So why should there be any problem?

Crapology

7 Jun

Did you know that 2.5 billion people in the world do not have regular access to a toilet? And of those 2.5 billion people over 1 million of them poop in the wild! That’s 1 out of every 3 people without a toilet, and 1 in 7 dumping au naturel…

This is the 21st century isn’t it?

Right now my country (the USA) is debating whether or not to spend over 1 trillion dollars to upgrade our nuclear weapons arsenal…so that we can defend ourselves against who? Outdoor crappers? I know that our presidential candidates want to “Bomb the shit out of “them”… but are we not already spending enough on scaring the shit out of them? Right where they already stand?

And after all, In 2014, even in the U.S. almost half a million households still did not have complete plumbing facilities; defined as having access to hot and cold running water, a toilet that flushes, and a shower or bathtub.

Not to mention Flint, Michigan and 2,000 other cities across all of our 50 states that have excessive levels of lead in their water! Who wants to drink that?!

And yet we have soldiers stationed in silos all across the U.S. just waiting for the word to push the button so as to defend our society by blowing the rest of the people of this world… into the stone age…where apparently 1/3 of them already live!

I say, make toilets not war. Let America lead everyone to the bathroom and not the battlefield! And let’s fix our infrastructure and water pipes while we’re at it too…and let’s stop being afraid of everyone else, especially whether or not the toilet you are using (that is if you are lucky enough to have one) matches the sexual organ in other people’s pants or under their dresses.

Go poop in the woods like everyone else if it worries you so much!

 

 

 

 

Who Am I?!

27 May

This month I have to renew my New Jersey Driver’s License. 4 years ago, for the first time in my life (I’m 61) I needed to show 6 points of identification to prove my identity (which includes Birth Certificate, Social Security card, Voter Registration card, Utility Bills, Tax bills and my old Drivers License) and then have my picture taken so there would be no mistake that from that point on I was who I said I was. This was all done in 2011 as part of all of the states compliance with Homeland Security rules and regulations.

Here is the copy as it appears on the Homeland Security News Wire explaining just how sophisticated the new NJ driver’s licenses are.

In compliance with Secure ID, the federal law that mandates that states create more stringent identification cards, New Jersey has unveiled a sophisticated new driver’s license; according to New Jersey officials, the new Enhanced Digital Driver’s License puts New Jersey among the ten states with the most secure identity cards; to prevent counterfeiting, security features include an embedded pattern on the license, one and two dimensional bar codes, and “purposeful errors” like misspellings; to implement these new licenses, the state’s MVCs have had to undergo a $19 million upgrade to install new computer systems, hardware, and software.

Notice how NJ had to spend 19 million dollars to upgrade their software etc. But the new licenses had photos and embeds and bar codes to make them super secure and fraud preventive. So whenever I go to purchase my Claritin-D  all the pharmacist has to do is look at my face and compare it to the face on my license, then scan the back of my license which inputs everything there is to know about me into their pharmacy computers where then even the Federal government will be notified and able to track my pseudoephedrine purchases to make sure I’m just into allergies and not into crystal meth!

Anyway, my license is now expiring and I have to have it renewed…in person…at the NJ Motor vehicles office…And I have to bring my 6 points of ID with me, just like I did in 2012…to prove who I am!…Again!

Why can’t they just look at my face and then look at my Super Secure Homeland Security Specific NJ drivers license… with my face on it, and then scan the super secure embedded bar code on the back and say “Hey it’s You! Congratulations! Go home and have a nice day!”

Why do I have to go through the entire 6 point, prove who I am, like nobody but me knows, like you can’t see the face I’m wearing, that matches the drivers license I have, that I couldn’t have gotten, unless I had proven who I was, 4 years ago, so I could get the license that I’m holding in my hand now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently My NJ Drivers License proves who I am to everyone except the NJ Motor Vehicles Department! And they gave it to me in the first place when I proved to them who I was! These guys are worse than my bankers. Who also pretend to NOT know who I am whenever I go there to get some of my own money, that I could only put there by proving who I was!

So off I go tomorrow to hopefully once again prove who I am to bureaucrats with a short term memory offering the promise of a long term ID card that they can’t ever make good on.

I’ve got IDs up the wazoo and still nobody knows the me I really am! Do I? Does anyone?

All I can say is… Thanks a lot Alzheimer bin-Laden!

 

We Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet!?

25 May

This past Sunday morning on Fox News Donald Trump declared “I don’t want to have guns in classrooms, although in some cases teachers should have guns in classrooms, frankly.”

Therefore: If guns aren’t allowed in classrooms

But: Teachers should have guns in classrooms

Then: Teachers should not be allowed in classrooms.

Just like the “Newspeak” of George Orwell’s 1984… Welcome to Trump-Speak 2016… where all that is spoken can be interpreted to mean all things to all people. Is he for it or against it? Yes! Of course he is!

And how about hoisting life size posters of the new first lady Melania at the entrances to all public school buildings to let would be attackers know that they should beware what awaits them inside, and to let all school children know that “Big Mother” will be protecting them?

And these are real photos…albeit taken 15 years ago but still… Not even George Orwell, nor “The Fonz” while jumping that shark, …could see this coming!

<p>If the Donald makes it into office, he won’t need to bother with hiring secret service: he’s already married to a lingerie-clad “Terminator.” <i>(Photo: British GQ)</i></p>

Hazards To Ourselves!?

21 May

Here is a little known factoid, at least I think it is little known, since I was not aware of it until just this week nor had I heard anyone speak of it before…Did you know that in the United States more than twice as many people commit suicide than are murdered by someone else? That is, we kill ourselves more than we kill each other…

In fact, world wide,  suicide takes more lives than murder and war put together! And those statistics come from the World Health Organization. The WHO reports that the death toll from suicide – at almost one million people per year – accounts for half of all violent deaths worldwide. And the toll is rising with 1.5 million yearly fatalities from suicide predicted by the year 2020.

And yet the newspapers and telecasts are filled each and every day with stories of murder, terror and war, cancer, disease and traffic accidents and yet an estimated 10 to 20 million people attempt suicide each year! And they are almost never mentioned, reported nor talked about publicly.

Even the Pentagon has recently released statistics revealing that while war (as everyone would expect) was the leading cause of death in the military nearly every year between 2004 and 2011, suicides became the top means of dying for our troops in 2012 and 2013! Our soldiers are now killing themselves more than our enemies do!

The WHO reports that the highest suicide rates are in Eastern Europe, and the lowest in Latin America, Muslim countries and some Asian nations. Suicide rates also tend to increase with age but for some reason and worldwide, there has been a recent increase in suicidal behaviors among young people aged 15 to 25. Men are more successful at committing suicide than are women… except in rural China and  parts of India.

And The most common methods for committing suicide? Swallowing pesticides, using firearms and overdosing on painkillers. But did you know any of this? I did not and for whatever reasons just about everyone avoids the subject,  suicides are hardly ever reported, and not many seem to think that it is a problem worth discussing or trying to solve.

And yet we stock pile guns to keep ourselves safe, worry about who’s walking through our neighborhoods, demand an ever larger military to protect us from the world and stand on lines for hours to make sure our planes and trains have not been infiltrated by madmen (and women) who actually kill very few of us.

And despite all of our fears of “them” and “those people” and that disease and the next natural disaster…what we should really be most afraid and cautious of is… what we might do to ourselves… For in truth, The statistics show us in overwhelming numbers that here in the 21st century, the greatest danger to my health…is most likely going to be…me!

 

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