It’s Official! We’re All Demented!?

President Trump, arguably the leader of the free world, bragged about having “aced” a cognitive test that he took at Walter Reed Medical Center, where the president said doctors were “very surprised” at his apparently fantastic results. “That’s an unbelievable thing,” The President said that the doctors told him about his test results. “Rarely does anybody do what you just did.”

President Trump took the Montreal Cognitive Assessment test during his annual physical…and according to the testing instructions, the MoCA is “designed as a rapid screening instrument for mild cognitive dysfunction. It assesses different cognitive domains: attention and concentration, executive functions, memory, language, conceptual thinking, calculations, and orientation.”

In other words, this is a test that would measure a decline in intelligence — not intelligence itself and yet our President  while doing very well on the test (a good thing) believes that it was a very difficult test of intelligence that most Americans could not pass. (a very strange thing) Because as mentioned above this is a test to measure one’s level of cognitive dysfunction not one’s intelligence quotient.

“It’s all misrepresentation, said the president to Fox TV interviewer, Chris Wallace, Because, yes, the first few questions are easy, but I’ll bet you couldn’t even answer the last five questions. I’ll bet you couldn’t, they get very hard, the last five questions.”

Mr Wallace’s reply was: “Well, it’s not the hardest test. They have a picture and it says “what’s that” and it’s an elephant!”

Here is the actual test for you to peruse. Could you pass this test? Beware the final 5 questions. They are very hard!

Did you recognize those animal pictures? Sorry, (But Chris, where was the elephant?) That was the easy part of the test!

Can you Repeat those sentences? Name words that begin with the letter F? Find what’s similar between a bicycle and a train? Recall 5 words? Do you know the date, month, year, day, place and city that you are currently in?

Congratulations you are not demented! And neither is the President!

So why does he think that most of us Americans including Chris Wallace, probably and most likely are? (possibly the elephant in the room? or not?)

Now that’s a tough question!

 

Just Say New!

The unemployment rate is over 11% and over 20 million Americans are currently receiving unemployment insurance. And The U.S. national debt is now over 26 and a half trillion dollars! That’s 6.6 trillion dollars more than when President Obama left office…and he ran up the deficit at about a rate of 1 trillion per year over his 8 year presidency…a number BTW that absolutely made Republican politicians plotz!

President Trump has seen his debt numbers increase at about the same ratio to which he has outplayed President Obama in rounds of golf so far during his almost 4 years as POTUS. (BTW President O’s golfing made Republicans plotz too!)

If President Trump keeps this up and is re-elected he will see the national debt rise under his watch by over 15 trillion dollars from 19.9 to 35 trillion by 2024!…and this is with a budget deficit of  2.8 trillion dollars per budget cycle.

Yow! Can you say “Repo Man?!”

And now about 25 million Americans are about to lose the extra $600-a-week unemployment benefit, they have been receiving since the Covid-19 pandemic hit the U.S. earlier in 2020 and which was passed through the CARES Act in March and is set to expire on July 31.

President Trump wants to let the CARES Act expire however, saying that there are signs that “America’s economy is now roaring back to life like nobody has ever seen before. All of this incredible news is the result of historic actions my administration has taken.”

But that was back in June as the country began to reopen for business again with people heading back to work and restaurants and bars and beaches…and oh yeah…that pesky and viral Covid-19 virus… returned to all of those places too…just like a virus likes to do. Who knew?

And now the jobs are going away again and states are beginning to shutter workplaces and bars and restaurants…again.

But have no fear! Ivanka Trump is here!

Yes, the President’s daughter and Senior Advisor at the White House has an idea and a plan to fix the unemployment crisis and get American workers back to work.

JUST SAY NEW!

Actually what Ivanka Trump unveiled was a new jobs initiative titled “Find Something New,” which encourages the country’s laid-off workers to consider alternative career paths…

and finding a new job because it looks like your old one is not coming back.

“There has never been a more critical time for Americans of all ages and backgrounds to be aware of the multiple pathways to career success and gain the vocational training and skills they need to fill jobs in a changing economy,” said the Senior Advisor at the White House and she Acknowledged that “jobs are changing and the pandemic has accelerated the pace.”

The program encourages workers to consider a range of new careers, including those that don’t require a college degree..so how to find a new job during a raging pandemic and massive business closures that has killed more jobs then people?

Perhaps you should follow the example of our first family?

If you need a job why not ask your daddy? He’s rich isn’t he? And doesn’t he have a few million to float you so you can get started in your own business? Maybe you could try some modeling if you have the figure and good looks. Start out with some nude modeling just to break in and then move on to something more sophisticated like bikinis until you find a rich man to marry. That should work.  If you are a man how about finding a woman to marry who has a rich daddy that you can do some consulting work for? You could run for political office in your home town? No experience is needed for that. Maybe start a television show? Or maybe you could open some new retail businesses in China?

There are just so many new possibilities in a country that has shut down its schools, offices, restaurants, theaters, stadiums, concert halls, public buildings, manufacturing plants etc..because of a pandemic that the government cannot and will not do anything about. aren’t there?

So where would you find these new jobs? Perhaps that when the first daughter suggested that we all look for “something new”rather than wait for our old jobs to come back she meant that we should not just look for a new job but maybe look in a different country also?

 

If You Test It You Will Get It!

This just in from the President of the United States. If you test for the Corona Virus you will find more people who have it. And that is why we have so many Corona Virus cases here in the United States. We simply test too much.

So Consequently, if you don’t test for the Corona Virus then you cannot get it!

I have Covid-19.

I test to see if I have Covid-19.

I find out that I am positive for the Covid-19 virus.

……………………………………………………………………………………

I have Covid-19.

I don’t test to see if I have Covid-19.

I don’t have Covid-19!

…………………………………………………………………………………..

It’s that simple!

So Americans everywhere: Protect yourself and your loved ones! DO NOT test to see if you have the Covid-19 virus. To do so could be deadly and harmful to the President’s re-election…maybe to you too, but you are probably insignificant… and which is more important?

But should you find that you have the virus anyway, and then find yourself in a hospital emergency room with shortness of breath and horrible pain, quarantined and alone? Leave a signed note with the hospital administration explaining that should you pass away you do not want to be tested for death.

In this way, you shall live forever!