And Still Counting…

Happy New Year everyone and thank you for visiting my blog once again this year. There are 525,600 minutes in a year and Last year, I crossed the 30 million mark in minutes spent on Earth

Actually as of midnight on December 31st, 2012, it was 30,297,600 minutes that I have spent on the planet…so that means that as of midnight of the 31st of December this year I will arrive at 30,823,200…but again, who’s counting?

So please keep reading if you will, unless you can thing of a better way to spend your minutes, but one does have to sit down and get a rest once in a while.

In any case, do your best to Spend your time wisely …it may be a crazy and unpredictable world but it still is the only world in town.

I’ll hit 31 million minutes sometime this year and I will try to enjoy every minute of it!

Do your best to enjoy your minutes too.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

And So This Is Christmas…

And what have we done?

Congress has still not brought our troops home from the longest war in America’s history…over 12 years and counting and can anyone tell me what we are there fighting for today? The war in Afghanistan has eclipsed our second longest war by almost 3 years but that’s only because it started almost 3 years before that one did. Can you name our 2nd longest war?

It’s the war in North-West Pakistan, which I did not even know we were engaged in. Did you?

Our Veteran’s now face sky rocketing suicide rates, leukemia from exposure to radioactive ammunition and return home with severe physical and mental disorders…excuse me…I mean simply, Post Traumatic Stress.

Meanwhile, at home our Congress voted this year to cut food stamps to 50 million Americans, most of whom are women and children, that we have managed to vilify for being so vulnerable and hungry…I’m sorry…they are now known as the “food insecure”.

Congress is also trying to decide if they should extend unemployment compensation into the new year for those who have reached their limit in benefits. After all says, Rand Paul, the best way to end unemployment is for the unemployed to “go get a job”. The unemployed are now the “chronically lazy.”

Congress has also sat idly by while housing shortages and the homeless population in our country continue to rise…

…As does our prison population. It’s the largest in the world by number and percentage…but at least our prisoners do have a home, so to speak, even if it does cost around 40 thousand dollars each, per year,  just to keep them there. Money well spent would you say?

And One year after the tragedy at Sandy Hook, Congress has still passed no significant legislation to help better regulate guns in our country…but clearly to many members of our most august legislative body it was the victims own fault for going to work and school every day in a “gun free” zone. They should have known better….and apparently, we have more of a mental health problem in our country than a gun problem. We have one of our most beloved presidents to thank for that but don’t mention it. We love him just the same…and it saved us money…so there is that.

And most sadly,  if a child were born to a poor couple in Bethlehem today he would still have twice the chance to live to celebrate his second birthday than if he were born in the United States…and that’s according to the CIA World Factbook.

All in all I’d say that’s a pretty dismal record for a country that fancies itself the greatest “Christian” country in the history of mankind…wouldn’t you?

So my question this “holiday” season is: What does it avail a man or woman to keep the Christ in Christmas if he or she is not going to keep the “Christ” in his or her country all year long?

We may have come a long way Baby, but Jesus, not near enough.

So a very Merry Little Christmas to all.

I hope we all can do better, by god,  in 2014.

Shall we?

 

 

Winter Gondwanaland!

There’s diamonds in them there hills!

According to researchers a kind of rock that often contains diamonds has been found in Antarctica for the first time, and even though they haven’t found the diamonds yet they’re pretty confident that they are there because Eastern Antarctica was once part of a continent known as Gondwanaland, connected to what is now Africa and India, which also have kimberlite, which is the particular kind of rock that was just discovered in the real land down under the “land down under”.

So grab your ice picks and snow shovels because not only does Antarctica now potentially have diamonds it also already has Gold, platinum, copper, iron and coal, making it a veritable miners paradise!

So what are we prospectors, entrepreneurs and small business owners waiting for?

Well, unfortunately Antarctica is the coldest place on Earth…only minus 135 degrees…in the sun! and sadly, in Antarctica mining is internationally banned.

But the good news is that The 1991 environmental accord only banned mining for at least 50 years. Which means that 2041 is only 27 years away and with a little help from global warning…er, I mean…climate change…um, or rather… god’s warm loving, how cold can it be there by then?

The gold, platinum and diamonds will probably just be laying around for the picking! So let’s go 41’ers! There’s ice in that there ice! Hooray!

And even though international Antarctic experts say that mining is highly unlikely and ill advised in such a remote, cold and environmentally protected area, they obviously don’t know the tenacity, indefatigability and pertinacity of guys like Dick Cheney and corporations like Halliburton like we fellow Americans do!

Plus, I just read that there’s already an ice highway being built from the northern coast to the South Pole… already in its second year of construction…I kid you not! So…

Oh frack!

Never-mind…

A Christmas Miracle

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

I really am not attempting to be blasphemous but…

Here is a great holiday story just in time for Christmas!

A new study recently published in the British Medical Journal has found that one in every 200 young American women claims to have experienced a virgin pregnancy!

Apparently, A long-term and confidential study about reproductive health, found that 45 of the 7,870 women involved said they had become pregnant without ever having had vaginal intercourse or going through in-vitro fertilization, including 31 percent of the subjects who said that they had made a “chastity pledge” of the kind that has become popular among many Christian groups.

 

Still and according to the report, the findings were “put together from a series of questions about pregnancy history and vaginal intercourse history.” And The women were never directly asked if they had had a “virgin pregnancy”.

One of the researchers did state however that it was possible that some of the women “did not want to admit that they had intercourse,” or maybe just misunderstood the questions…because the researcher went on to add that the results were rather “unrealistic.”

Really? I wonder why she thought that? Are 45 virgin births “unrealistic” whereas 1 is “just right”? Or is it simply because it just isn’t possible to give birth to a child without first having…well…you know… But then again there is in-vitro fertilization so…I suppose the debate is…still open for debate?

 

Anyway the best part is that the lead researcher added “We actually found a few virgin fathers as well-which is a little harder to get your head around.” 

I’ll say!

But what does all this mean scientifically?

Well, according to my notes…It truly is possible… for anyone… to be believe… in anything…

apparently, even…???

 

Another Reason Why Christmas Need Have No Fear.

I like to think that I’m up on current events but I was shocked and surprised to read  that the much revered and beloved Nelson Mandela, who passed away this week, was on The United States terrorist watch list from 1986 until 2008!

This human rights icon, remained on the U.S. terrorism watch list until 2008, when then-President George W. Bush (of all people) finally signed a bill, approved by Congress, and removing him from the list.

South Africa’s apartheid regime designated Mr. Mandela’s African National Congress as a terrorist organization for its battle against the nation’s legalized system of racial segregation that lasted from 1948 to 1994. Soon after then U.K. Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher followed suit by describing the ANC as a typical terrorist organization and then our own President Ronald Reagan agreed!

 

And then again In 1986, our very own beloved statesman, Dick Cheney, then a U.S. congressman, voted along with 179 other members of the House against a non-binding resolution to recognize the ANC and call on the South African government to release Mandela from prison. The measure finally passed however, (whew!) …but not before a veto attempt by President Reagan!

 

And 14 years later, In 2000, soon to be Vice-President Cheney still maintained that he’d cast the correct vote!

So what does all this have to do with Christmas?

Well, I think that our much beloved traditions surrounding Christmas and its celebration here in the United States can survive any amount of “Happy Holiday” greetings that we the people can dish out to one another for quite sometime and well into the future because…

if the country that made slavery a household word and had to fight a 4 year long civil war because it couldn’t think of any other way to abolish the heinous institution yet then a full 6 score and 1 years later saw the African National Congress and its leader fighting against the inhumane policies of Apartheid in South Africa as a “typical terrorist organization” and continued to list that leader as a terrorist for another 1 score of years, then…

I think that it is safe to say that old traditions die very very hard here in the land of Christian love and tolerance and that Christmas and our Christmas traditions will have to be dragged out of our cold dead hands…so to speak…before we will ever let them go.

So children of America have no fear to spread the Merry Christmas cheer…although I have heard it said, that whenever Dick Cheney smiles…an angel loses its wings.

Christmas, Your Demise is Greatly Exaggerated

In Iceland they are grieving because a citizen was shot by the police for the first time in its 44 year old Independent Republic’s history.

Here in the United States that happens every day and almost 400 times a year but who’s keeping score? No. I mean literally, there is no one keeping score of such a statistic here in the U.S. If you do some research on the internet you’ll find that some people are trying but officially there is no definite number as to how many U.S. citizens are shot by the police every year.

But in all fairness to our police force we have about 300 million more citizens than Iceland does.

And we have about 35,000 more citizens killed each year by gun violence than Iceland does. Iceland has only about 5 shootings per year…but then again there is that 300 million citizen discrepancy. If Iceland had 300 million citizens they would have about 5,000 shooting deaths per year…of which their police would possibly shoot about 21…statistically speaking that is.

Which would still be 30,000/380 fewer shooting deaths per year than we have!

So what’s my point?

Here in the United States we like to shoot each other. So much so that it really isn’t even news. With almost 100 citizens being shot per day you’d think we’d hear about that more often…but we don’t or at least if we do we don’t seem to pay much attention. Why is that? Is 100 shootings per day too many to care about? Not enough? Just right? In Iceland they’re all bent out of shape about just 1. Do Icelanders love one another more than Americans do…or is it just a numbers thing? Multiply Icelanders by 1,000 each and see if they care when 100 or so turn up on the wrong end of a gun.

Who can say? But my second point is this…If we Americans and our news media are unconcerned with 100 citizens being shot and killed each and every day, why is the supposed and attempted assassination of Christmas such a big story?

If someone were really trying to kill Christmas in this country, it would be dead already!

Wouldn’t it?…

Probably shot dead from a 6th floor department store window during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. I mean if anyone really had it out for Christmas it would be Thanksgiving! Right?

But even so, we Americans are a resilient bunch and would probably just brush off Christmas’ untimely death and move on…after a proper grieving period followed by more intensive shopping to get our mind off of our misery. Then we’d just replace Christmas with the new kid on the block like Vice-Christmas or Widow Christmas or Christmas junior or maybe just move straight onto the Superbowl and upgrade its status straight to deity. Then we could have an extra crazy month of shopping and celebrations added to the holiday season!

I’m just saying…

And besides, With all of Santa’s yearly home invasions wouldn’t Christmas have been dead long ago, shot by a vigilant gun owner who just didn’t like surprises?

That is if we Americans really had it in for Christmas?

But we don’t. We love Christmas here in America…and we love it so much that…dare I say… we love it more than we love life itself?

Yes Christmas, you are safe and well here in the United States and although hammers and guns may be of equal and deadly force when it comes to breaking our bones it’s people who kill people not hammers and guns, so certainly being called a name like “holiday” shall never hurt you.

And yes, Virginia, the reports of Christmas’ death are being greatly exaggerated. So don’t you worry about Christmas…you on the other hand, may just want to consider moving to Iceland.

 

Die Christmas Die?

I went shopping today and upon checkout the sales person said “Have a Happy Holiday!”

And you know what? I immediately knew exactly what holiday she was talking about. She was talking about my holiday…the one I celebrate. Of course she was. What other holiday could she have been wishing for me to have a happy one of, if not mine?

Did she have to say Merry Christmas? Really? Was she attempting to kill Christmas and the baby Jesus by using the word holiday? Was she and the store she worked in on a crusade to destroy, heaven, God, Christianity and the U.S.A?

We were just perfect strangers after all. How was she or anyone else in that store supposed to know what I or anyone else did or did not believe in, worship or celebrate… and besides it tis the season of holidays is it not? These days there are quite a few holidays, parties and celebrations packed into the weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.

“Happy Holidays” to me says just that!

Eat, drink and be merry!

Enjoy, celebrate, spread joy!

Peace on Earth good will to all!

And most importantly of all, Judge not and enjoy everyone’s holiday as you would have them enjoy yours.

When meeting strangers there is nothing wrong with extending a little politeness (every Christian should know that)

Making a living out of being divisive is what Sarah Palin and Fox and Friends are for.

So may your god rest ye merry! And Happy Holidays to all!

 

 

Where No One Has Gone Before…For a Good Reason!

I was watching 60 Minutes last weekend and a report about a new “sport” called Free Diving, that involves diving under the water as deep as one can go on one breath was featured. I seem to remember this being a children’s sport many years ago, “Hey Ma! Watch what I can do!”, despite many a mother’s chagrin…but I digress.

However, today, thanks to the indomitable spirit of human something or other, thousands of adult humans are trying this new “sport” out every year. The American champion went down 236 feet on one breath which required holding his breath for over 3 minutes. Upon surfacing he died…and the crowd went wild…with grief!

To me, this is a sport like hunting is a sport, or gladiating (is that even a word?) What is the human fascination with having or with giving someone(thing) else a near death experience? Or an actual death experience?! And how is this classified as sports? I even have trouble with marathon running because it was invented by a brave soul who was running to deliver a message that may have saved other people’s lives and upon completion of his “race” he died! And the Greek’s went wild…with grief!

And that is why today, humans gather in large groups and run exactly 26 miles and 385 yards, to apparently honor one death experience with a near death one of their own. That makes sense to you, doesn’t it?

Anyway, in the 60 minutes piece the current world record holder was asked what the human limit in Free Diving is or would be, since he was about to dive over 400 feet on one breath, and his answer was, “There is only one way to find out.” And what he meant by that was…you guessed it…another potential Marathon-like distance of death for humans to challenge ad infinitum.

But here comes the best part of the story. The world record holder made his record breaking dive and swam over 400 feet down and held his breath for over 4 minutes while reaching his mark, grabbing a tag to prove that he did it and then returning to the surface…alive! To really prove that he did it! Hurray! He won! And the crowd went…

Nope! Because here is apparently what makes this new craze a sport. Upon his return to the surface he is supposed to remove his goggles, make the OK sign with his fingers and then say, “I’m OK!” to the judges (of course there must be judges!) (Why?…I don’t know…Third base!)

But what he did was make the OK sign, say, “I’m OK” and then he took off his goggles. Wrong order! He’s disqualified! Just like he’d never done it and been there and back again! But, wait! He still has the tag from over 400 feet down where no one has ever gone before!!!! Doesn’t that count for something???

Sorry…it’s a sport after all, remember? There was a flag on the play! So he has to do it all over again. Sorry, Pheidippides, you didn’t say “May I?” so you have to go back and do it all over again…”don’t worry, we’ll wait”. Of course the ancient Greek legend of Marathon was…wait a minute…did I just say legend? Yes, that’s right it’s just a legend but legend has it that Pheidippides’ famous last words were, “We won!” And the crowd went wild with happiness!…and grief!

Oh Pheidippidides you Phool! Oh ancient Greeks you phreaky philosophers! Is this what makes us human after all? The irony of taking something that should be pleasurable…like living…and finding the ultimate, absolute misery in it? Is this what separates the animals from… the human…animals? I don’t know about you but regular animals seem to be enjoying themselves and their lives for the most part…that is whenever us humans aren’t figuring out ways to take the fun out of life for them. Is there any wonder at us trying to take the fun out of it for ourselves too?

So, dear Socrates, If this is sport, please pass the hemlock!