Have I Seen Everything Now?

The other day I was driving along and passed the Exxon Deli and Grill!…As in the Exxon gas station has a deli and grill attached to it now. Whatever happened to repair shops being attached to gas stations? Now they’re making me a sandwich while pumping my gas?

So if I go in there and ask for a sandwich made just the way I like it, and they ask me what kind of oil I’d like on it, do I ask for 30 weight or 40? And does it matter if I’m buying my sandwich in the Winter or Spring?

What’s on the grill? Alaskan Duck marinated in Exxon Valdez oil spill?

Oh well, at least now I know what the oil companies are doing with my Trump Tax Break. Now that they’ve raised their gas prices all of my tax savings are going straight into their wallets!

So “Fillerup!” And make my grilled salmon to go… with an extra helping of fumes!”

Of course it’s to go. I’m at a freakin’ gas station for cryin’ out loud!!!

 

Put A Stamp On It!

Did you ever put a stamp on an envelope and notice that it often says in the upper right hand corner that the Post Office will not deliver your mail without the proper postage attached?

So what’s all the fuss that our President is trying to create by telling us that Amazon is not paying to have its packages delivered? Just how would they get away with that when everyone knows that the Post Office doesn’t carry our letters, packages and mail around for free? Did you ever try to pop something in the mail without postage????

If you’re lucky the Post Office will send it back to you with a note that says (See above)…if not, you’ll just never see your mail again…nor will anyone else…

The Post Office is not funded by American tax dollars and relies on the sale of postage, products and services to fund its operations. And while it is true that the P.O. is suffering from a large amount of debt that’s only because most of the Postal Service’s financial problems have been created by a government mandate that it pay up front for retiree pension and health care expenses. That’s because an act of Congress says that it has to… (private businesses that have retiree benefit obligations are not required to pay those amounts up front.)… And those P.O. obligations for current and past employees stood at $38 billion at the end of its most recent fiscal year.

And that’s why The Postal Service’s debt is so high. It’s a direct result of the Congressional mandate that it must pay for 10 years to pre-fund the retiree healthcare plan and pension fund…not because Amazon is having it’s mail delivered for free.

And yet our President insists on tweeting:

“I am right about Amazon costing the United States Post Office massive amounts of money for being their Delivery Boy. Amazon should pay these costs (plus) and not have them bourne by the American Taxpayer. Many billions of dollars. P.O. leaders don’t have a clue (or do they?)!”

Does our President have a clue? He should, because…well…like…He is the President!…Of the United States! And he could ask someone who works in the White House or in his Cabinet or in Congress…or Melania even! I bet she knows or could certainly ask someone for him.

But noooooooooo…instead the President has issued an executive order calling for an investigation into the Postal Service’s finances so that we can spend some real taxpayer’s money trying to once again find out who ate the strawberries when we already know who did it…our own President, Captain Queeg!

Just imagine… 2 and a half more years of having to watch the President of the United States…just mailing it in every day…and without a stamp!?

 

Shall We Examine the Evidence?

Former FBI Director, James Comey, has released a new book in which he accuses  President Donald Trump of not being very presidential while also likening him to resembling something more akin to that of a mob boss.

President Donald trump responded by… tweeting… that James Comey is… a “leaking, lying slimeball!”

So, I guess that about sums it all up in a nutshell…wouldn’t you say?

Which Hunt?

 

President Donald Trump slammed the FBI’s raid on the office and hotel room of his personal lawyer Michael Cohen as a “disgraceful situation” and an “attack on our country.” “It’s a total witch-hunt. ” “It’s an attack on our country in a true sense. It’s an attack on what we all stand for, so when I saw this and when I heard it, I heard it like you did, I said that is really now in a whole new level of unfairness.”

I don’t know what he’s so concerned about or why he is so upset with agents of the law and American law enforcement just doing their job. Aren’t these public servants among the true heroes of our country, as Republicans and conservatives are often so fond of saying, and always picking on Democrats liberals for not saying often enough?

Republicans and Conservatives are also quite fond of telling all Americans about how easy it is to work with law enforcement and officers of the law. It’s really quite simple isn’t it?

Just roll down your window… Say, “yes sir and no sir and thank you sir.”…Obey all instructions politely… Never raise your voice or argue or complain… Show all of your necessary and legal documents…and never, ever, ever show aggression… or run.

After all, if you haven’t done anything wrong…then what is there to be upset or afraid about?

Right?

Here Today…

God Tomorrow?

That’s life!…According to a study from Harvard University, the Higgs boson particle, also known as the “God particle”, because it helps give mass to all elementary particles that have mass, (don’t ask me how) such as electrons and protons, could one day cause the complete destruction of our Universe!

 

And just how will it do that? Well, a negative energy bubble could cause the collapse of our Universe, (who knew?)…but according to researchers… it is likely that the process of the destruction of said Universe… has already begun! (Say what?)

But don’t worry because all that will need to happen is the collision of the famous (infamous?) Higgs boson particle with aforesaid ball of negative energy…so please let’s just keep it from opening a Facebook account!

Scientists think that this is a rather amusing idea since the Higgs boson particle is also known as the “God Particle”… and the thought that the fundamental particle that gives mass (and life?) to all the matter contained in the Universe is also capable of one day causing the complete destruction of that universe…is, well, rather funny…to scientists…that is…

And you thought that the Universe would just go about its prolonged collapse and disappearance over a few gazillion years or so? Now you know that it is just as likely to all disappear just as fast as it came…in the blink of an eye…and the process say researchers, may have already begun???????

Silly scientists! This is what we regular humans call old age and death. Did not the process begin just as soon as we were big bang smacked and led kicking and screaming into this existence? And might it not now all just end any………………….

Stormy on Sunday With a Chance of…

War on Monday!?

President Trump, although on vacation in Mar-a-Lago (again) is putting together a hawkish war cabinet of Anti-Iran and former Fox News hosts (of all people) and Stormy Daniels, porn star, turned “I banged the president” famous, is planning to tell all on CBS’ 60 Minutes this Sunday night.

Could this mean war with Iran on Monday… just to change the subject? I know that it sounds absolutely crazy for me to suggest such a turn of events but aren’t we living in the age of “Crazy” right now?

We know that our president loves his TV so this may come down to what he wants to watch all day. Stormy shopping lewd and crude photos and talking about their “affair” or Shock and Awe? I for one am nervous… but then I’ve been nervous ever since the last presidential election. Maybe I should just stop watching TV?

But Iran and Israel are spoiling for a fight. Plus, President Trump hates anything President Obama, especially the Iran nuclear deal, and he’s spoiling for a fight too! (What happened to North Korea and Little Kim?!) But Iran is no Iraq… or Afghanistan…or North Korea! Iran has 80 million citizens and an army of half a million men!

…Anyway, this will be quite a weekend for television watching… with March Madness, Stormy Sunday and…maybe even some Monday Morning Madness?????

Good grief! I hope not…but…Please someone tell me what happens because I don’t think I can look!

Forward Thinking?

Here is what President Trump had to say about his proposed wall along our border with Mexico, for which 1.6 billion dollars has recently been allotted in our latest 1.3 trillion dollar budget.

“If you have a wall this thick and it’s solid concrete from ground to 32 feet high which is a high wall, much higher than people planned. “You go 32 feet up and you don’t know who’s over here. You’re here, you’ve got the wall and there’s some other people here.”

“If I’m standing here, I want to be able to see 200 yards out. “I want to be able to see, I don’t want to have a piece of concrete that I can’t see.”  “And I’ll give you an example: As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them — they hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff? It’s over,” President Trump continued. “As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall. But we have some incredible designs.”

I know it’s a difficult read but still rather amazing that these words came from our President of the United States. I especially like the part where someone throws a 60 pound bag over a 32 foot high wall of unknown thickness. but I digress, because I have suddenly realized that our president could actually be onto something!

Think about it. If this wall works and can actually be built it would be a perfect prototype for America’s beaches in 50 years! That’s if you believe in science of course. But just imagine it. There you are safe on the beach, in the year 2068, catching some rays just like you used to, and behind a 32 foot see-through wall through which you can still see the beautiful and majestic ocean vistas…

…and perfectly protected from the rising seas, crashing waves, plastic debris, oil spills and an untold number of desperate immigrants fleeing from their own flooded countries.

I really think our president is on to something. I really do! Folks are always saying, “Don’t worry about global warming or climate change. Someday someone will figure out the answer and save us all!”

So maybe this is it?