Tag Archives: government

Hang-Over Holiday?

19 Jan

Donald and Melania Trump

Somewhere around noon on Friday January 20th Mr Donald Trump will officially become the 45th President of the United States..but if you are worried about being immediately deported or if you have to start that new job you were hired for to build the Great Mexican Wall or if you are worried about your health-care policy being terminated or even if you are Hillary Clinton and worried about being arrested, you can rest easy until  January 23rd.

Because Mr. Trump has announced that his first official day as POTUS won’t begin until Monday because immediately after being sworn in he’s going to take his first vacation.

“Day one – which I will consider to be Monday as opposed to Friday or Saturday. Right? I mean my day one is gonna be Monday because I don’t want to be signing and get it mixed up with lots of celebration.” said The 45th President-Elect to a reporter from The Times.

Wow! Could you imagine how Republicans would have reacted if President Obama had said that back in 2008? The first African American President taking a vacation to party and celebrate immediately after being sworn in?! They’re collective heads would have exploded, right after they had all pooped their pants!

(Note to Russia: Attack immediately!)

Anyway, now imagine that the Obama children and Michelle O.had stayed in school back in Chicago to finish out their 2008/09 school year. NYC has reported that it will cost over 1 million dollars a day to supply the necessary security for Melania and Baron T. to stay in New York to finish their shopping….er..um school year…and that doesn’t even include the Secret Service costs.

That’s 1 billion dollars by mid June! Plus President Trump-to-be plans to fly back and forth regularly on the weekends and Melania will be doing the same when she needs to be in Washington. This will cost a fortune in security costs for the Secret Service and for NYC, all to be paid for with tax dollars of course.

But he will be the President of the United States and he and his family deserve and need to be protected and no one will deny or dispute that…but just imagine how the Republican minions, who went positively apoplectic anytime the Obama’s took a vacation or President O. played a round of golf, would have behaved had they charged the USA billions of dollars just to come and go as they pleased during the work week!

OMG! Generals Jackson and Lee would have risen from the grave and led an army of newly minted, “Stars and Bars” waving, confederates along side resurrected cadavers in a march on Washington!…Am I wrong?

Of course former NYC Mayor and billionaire, Michael Bloomberg, payed for his own travel back and forth to his home in Bermuda from Friday afternoon to Sunday evenings on many weekends during his 12 years in office. He even payed for 2 police officers on his protection detail to stay in a hotel during those weekends. But after all Mr. Bloomberg was only running a major US city not the entire country! And he is a billionaire after all.

But Donald Trump is a billionaire too, isn’t he?  He says that he is although we have never seen any proof as to how many billions he actually has. According to Forbes, Mr. Bloomberg has 41.8 billion…and Mr. Trump has about 3.7, so the likely hood of President trump picking up the tab for his presidential commutes to NYC and back is about as likely as First Lady Melania using a non gold plated commode in the White House…

I know, that’s mean…but let’s just say this whole inauguration and transition thing from the 44th POTUS to the 45th POTUS is bringing out the “Trump” in me…Oh well, Happy stay-cation! See you on Monday bright and early…and maybe a bit hung-over…

Boy I sure am glad the Obamas weren’t this needy!

 

CNN You Later!

11 Jan

 

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Donald Trump gave his first press conference as President-Elect of the United States today…And FYI,  if you own stock in CNN you might want to consider selling. He called them a fake news agency that only reports fake news and then he refused to take a question from the CNN reporter in attendance because…well, you know, he was fake? Anyway, Sell! Sell! Sell!

He also accused the Intelligence Agency (all of them) of being non-intelligent (again) and likened their behavior to Nazi behavior (that’s pretty bad) because they leaked an unverified report that was supposed to be for his eyes only (or at least very few eyes)

Mr. Trump does not like the US Intelligence Agencies that we have and he does not believe much of what they tell him so this could be a problem for the future intelligence of just about everyone.

On a positive note Mr. Trump promised that more companies and jobs would be staying in the U.S. because he would get tough with any companies that try to move outside of the United States. That sounds like a very good thing and something that is hard to argue with…and seriously, why would anyone want to try?

But rather perplexingly he noted that lots of jobs were needed because 93 million Americans were out of work. That’s a lot of Americans or about 1/3 of all of the legal Americans in the USA. And if you subtract children and the elderly then 93 million American job seekers would be equal to roughly 1/2 of all citizens in the U.S.

1 out of 2 Americans are out of work? That sounds like a lot to me…and surely something that we would have noticed.

But President-elect Trump did promise that Obamacare (The Affordable Care Act) would be repealed immediately upon his taking office. And on another positive note he promised to “almost simultaneously” replace it with a much better healthcare plan that would save everyone money and offer better care.

I cannot argue with that and am looking forward to it as I am sure everyone is. This is a no brainer because we will all easily be able to tell if our healthcare is better by checking our own bills and by asking our loved ones who are going to lose their ACA insurance policies, (and I’m sure you probably know one) if they have been replaced with better insurance policies. However, I must point out that one should never use the words almost and simultaneously in the same sentence and especially not in juxtaposition…so we’ll see.

PE Trump has also promised to bring down drug (pharmaceutical) prices. That’s good! And to immediately begin building the great wall of Mexico with U.S. funds. That’s bad! But Mexico will pay for it later after he negotiates with them. That’s confusing! Because I’m not paying for the fence my neighbor puts up on his property. Not now. Not ever. So we’ll have to wish ourselves luck with that one…maybe a wall crossing toll?

Mr. Trump has also placed his various and expansive business interests in a blind trust that he explained would be blind because when his sons make business deals on his behalf with the business that he is giving to them, rather than divest it from his interest, he simply will not look…just like we cannot look at his taxes which he says no one wants to look at anyway.

I want to look. How about you? I’m just curious to see how much he really makes and how much he pays in taxes. Especially after today when he told us that his holdings are Humongous and World Wide! (Except Russia…Nyet) And from what I know about Mr. Trump he would really, really, really want show us if there was really something good for us to see in his tax returns. Am I wrong? He says that he wants to show us but he is being audited by the IRS and so he can’t. The IRS for some reason can’t verify or deny that claim but they did say that being audited does not prevent anyone from showing their tax returns to anyone else.

I’ve been audited. Maybe you have too. And it doesn’t take that long believe me. The IRS gives you a deadline and if you don’t meet it you’re in the shit. So it moves along quite quickly. The IRS is not the DMV that’s for sure so I’m pretty sure PE Trump is lying to us about this one.

But then again Hillary and her Emails! So maybe we can have 9 Congressional inquiries and hearings to get to the bottom of Mr. Trumps’ taxes… but it looks doubtful.

In conclusion, President-elect Trump gave a very entertaining press conference filled with suspense, accusations, humor, anger, lawyers, bales of paper and infotainment…and boy was it better than any episode of The Apprentice! Which is good news for television networks, television viewers and probably even televisions, everywhere…

So America, let the show go on!…Can we stop it?

 

 

Vlad the decider?

16 Dec

Image result for Putin decides US presidential election

Last week, the CIA revealed their most recent, top-secret assessment of the situation to lawmakers in Washington. The CIA, now believes that the Russians tampered with the American presidential election in order to help Trump win the presidency of the United States.

In fact it has even been revealed that this information was released to the presidential candidates back in August during an intelligence briefing. So both Hillary and Donald were aware that our intelligence agencies had targeted Russia as the ones who were responsible for the on going and continued hacking of our political system.

But President elect Donald Trump still doesn’t believe it and has publicly ridiculed our intelligence agencies (soon to be his responsibility) by basically saying, “What do they know?” He says it could have been anyone… like the Chinese or a man in New Jersey.

Of course that is not a denial, it’s an acknowledgement! President Trump agrees that our political system was hacked by someone or some group. He just doesn’t know who or why. And he doesn’t seem in the least bit disturbed by it nor do any of his supporters.

So if we are under cyber attack by the Chinese government…that’s better? That’s OK? Or how about a guy from New Jersey?! That’s better than being hacked by the Russians and Vladimir Putin?

Just some guy in New Jersey, sitting alone in his pajamas, is accessing private emails and tampering with election sites and who knows what all, on his personal computer…and all the king’s horsemen and all the king’s men can’t catch him? And the new king to be isn’t the least bit concerned????

And today it has been announced that  our Intelligence officials believe Russian President Vladimir Putin was personally involved. And they are fairly certain that he did it because he wanted Donal trump to win the United States Presidency and not Hillary Clinton who he personally dislikes. So in effect and for all intents and purposes, Vladimir Putin was a player in deciding the outcome of our National election.

But still says President-elect Trump: Why does it have to be Putin? It could be anybody. I dunno? I’m like a smart person and the CIA and FBI don’t know crap. Now excuse me, I’ve got to get to a rally to celebrate my victory…which I assure you is completely legitimate. (even though I lost by 3 million votes…but who is counting?)

Maybe by tomorrow when pork roll is mysteriously named our national bird we’ll know for sure that it was the guy from Joisey… But until then folks our president elect apparently couldn’t care less…and doesn’t that make you suspect that he’s known all along? Because isn’t the possibility that he doesn’t really care… completely and utterly frightening?!

Says Vladamir Putin: “Take the (smoking) gun. Leave the cannolis….”

 

Hey! He’s, Like, Smart!

11 Dec

Image result for Trump

President-elect Donald Trump said that he is not concerned about his not participating in the traditional daily intelligence and national security briefings that he is supposed to receive every day…and apparently neither should the American people, because…

“I get it when I need it. I’m, like a smart person.” He told a Sunday TV news host. And he added, “I don’t have to be told the same thing in the same words every single day. I don’t need that. But I do say, ‘If something should change, let us know.'”

Just imagine how Trump supporters would react if words like that came out of President Obama’s mouth or Hillary Clinton’s mouth? If they declared themselves too smart for daily briefings Republicans heads would explode! Oh the elitism! Oh the vacation time! Oh the lack of time on task! For goodness sake are they sick or lazy? Maybe both?!

And when it was reported by the CIA and members of Congress that the intelligence community has reached a “consensus” that Russia definitely intervened in the presidential election to help Trump win the Presidency…of The United States!?

Well, the president-elect’s transition team responded by mocking the spy agency with “they’re same people that said Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction.”  And PE Trump added in an interview with Time Magazine: “It could be Russia. And it could be China. And it could be some guy in his home in New Jersey.”

Not only doesn’t our President-elect believe in taking regular intelligence and security briefings. He doesn’t even believe them when he gets them! Because he’s more intelligent than our intelligence agencies!

How lucky are we to finally have an intelligent president? And we know he’s intelligent because of the way he uses words like “like” and “New Jersey” in such appropriate ways. As in: “I’m… like… smart!” And “Some guy in New Jersey did it!” Hey! Only we New Jersians can blame things on New Jersey! And use like like that, like, you know???

But on the bright side,  Mr.Trump emphasized that Vice President-elect Mike Pence was receiving daily briefings.

So at least someone, like… wants to be President!

 

 

 

It’s Academic!

10 Dec

Image result for Buy American. Hire American

Donald Trump ran for President on a very simple message that he repeated over and over again at every campaign stop on his way to victory: “Buy American! Hire American!” Don’t take my word for it just check it out and see how many videos pop up in your browser.

He also said that he would fight for American jobs and secure better wages, better working conditions and better jobs just like Americans used to have. He was the one man who could “Make America Great Again!”

Image result for Donald Trump: Buy American. Hire American

Now President Elect Donald Trump is hiring foreign workers to staff his Mar-a-Lago Mansion in Palm Beach, Fla., again this winter.

Image result for mar a lago trump club

According to the Palm Beach Post (and other news outlets) President Elect Trump won approval to hire 64 foreign workers through the federal government’s H-2B visa program. He hired 69 workers through the same program last year. And although most will get a whopping 1% raise many will be taking a pay cut from last years salaries.

If you’d like a job there as a cook you can make $12.74 cents an hour…but of course you would apparently have to prove that you are not an American citizen.

The Mar-A-Lago club will hire 30 waiters and waitresses at $11.13 an hour,  and 15 housekeepers at $10.17 an hour. So pass that on to any illegals who happen to be already working in your neck of the woods. Perhaps they would like a change of venue? After all, winter is coming…

And this is a real story! It’s actually true! It’s Not one of those crazy, made up, conspiracy theory, We hate Hillary, stories that, you know, President Elect Trump likes to tweet and spread around.

How do we know this? Well, Mr. trump was actually asked about why he hires foreign workers and he said:

“Because during the season, Mar-A-Lago, it’s a seasonal job, which is very hard to get people in Florida for seasonal jobs. And during the season in Palm Beach, Palm Beach is probably maybe the hottest real estate, maybe in the world. And during the season in Palm Beach, it’s very, very hard to get help. You can’t, we’re talking about Mar-A-Lago, the club is closed for the summer. You know the expression, ‘Rich people don’t like heat.’ And we close Mar-A-Lago, and we open October — like October 1st. And from that, for about a five-month period, during what they call the Palm Beach season, which is a big deal, you can’t get help. So we tend to get help from different places, including Europe, and we’ve been doing that. And by the way, these are all legal visas, you understand that, Mike. These are all legal visas. But they — we have to bring people in, which tells you, I mean, you can have jobs out there, in certain communities that are doing well. But in Palm Beach, getting help in Palm Beach during the season is almost impossible. So we go through a very legal process, and we bring people in through legal visas.”

So there you have it America. American workers are simply too impossible to find! There aren’t enough of them to go around. How is a super rich President Elect supposed to trickle down on American workers when he’s been looking everywhere for them and they’re just nowhere to be found? The only solution is legal visas for foreign workers and tax cuts for the wealthy!…everybody knows that!

Now Aren’t you glad that Middle-Americans across the USA decided to back “The Donald” to show America’s academics that they were tired of all of their Congressional smart-assery?

Hooray for the US electorate!

Down with Academics! Up with Schmucks!

 

Let the Healing Begin…

3 Dec

Trump Cincinnati

President elect Trump is still on the rally circuit…even though he has already won the election. I am guessing that this is the beginning of the “Let Us All Heal Together and Begin Working As One United Nation” tour.

But today his message was that we Democrats are all poor losers and he wanted to ram that message home and rub it in…to the delight of all of his fellow ralliers…so much for the healing process. I guess it’s not time yet?

But who stages a gloating rally after winning? And who goes?

Anyway, The President Elect just wanted to take some time out of his busy schedule to let everyone know that he won the election by a landslide. Because as everyone in America knows winning the electoral vote and losing the popular vote by over 2 million voters is the definition of a landslide.

He also wanted to remind us losers that we cheated by rounding up over 3 million illegal aliens to vote unfairly (and invisibly) against him…and that’s why his “landslide” was not bigger.

It was of course the press’s fault because they (the press) are all “very dishonest bad people and losers”. Especially the New York Times which he singled out as a failing newspaper run by “really bad and really sick” people. (and not the kind of sick that requires a doctor or medicine)

He also added “We condemn bigotry and prejudice in all its forms. We denounce all of the hatred and forcefully reject the language of exclusion.”…so there is that…I guess?

The Red, White and Blue crowd responded happily with chants of “Lock her up! Lock her up!”

So I’m not sure if they got the message.

Or did they?

Who stages a rally like that one month after winning the election to become our next President of the United States? And why? Aren’t there better things to do? Aren’t there more important things to do?…As in… Anything?

Apparently, at least for our next president of these United States, winning isn’t everything…

It’s the only thing!

 

Coming Soon: A New Constitution!

29 Nov

Soon to be POTUS says:

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