It’s Not trhe Guns!

6 Oct

Attention America! It’s not the guns! it’s the people…the Sick people! We need to do something about the sick people!

This seems to be the general consensus among the Republican candidates running for the Presidency of the United States, in the aftermath of the tragedy that occurred at an Oregon Community College this week.

Guns are great! Guns are safe! It’s just that when you put them in the hands of sick people good guns are used for bad purposes and not for what guns are really intended to be used for. Which is of course…uh…well…um…killing other people. But let’s forget about that and move on.

Anyway, that’s why all of the Republican candidates agree on one important thing! As soon as any one of them is elected, and on the first day they enter the White House to begin their new job as President of the United States, they will begin to combat the rising tide of the mentally ill in these United States by…

Eliminating the Affordable Health Care Act and thereby eliminating affordable health care for millions of Americans who can now afford it…Yep, that oughta do it…

Would it be Worth the Life of One Child?

6 Oct

I remember years ago, when I used to be a reporter for a very local newspaper. I was attending a  township council meeting and the council’s discussion was focused around the proposed purchase of a new fire engine for the township’s firehouse. At that time the price for said engine was around 250,000 dollars and one of the councilmen remarked that the purchase of a new fire engine might be too expensive for the township at that time.

That’s when the mayor spoke up and said that if the purchase of a new fire engine saved the life of even one township child then it would be money well spent no matter the cost. After that the proposal passed unanimously, including the eager vote of the one frugal councilman who had brought up the idea of the purchase being too expensive in the first place.

Today I have been reading about the recent tragedy in Oregon involving another horrendous school shooting by a lone gunman and about how local school districts around the country have been partnering with local law enforcement agencies to help prepare schools and school personnel for situations similar to the one that occurred in Oregon and elsewhere around the country.

Some states even now require local law enforcement agencies to stage real time drills in which they mock invade local schools in attempts to prepare teaching staffs and students for the real thing. Many have called the mock raids frightening and hard to determine whether they are drills or the real thing and wonder why they are being staged or conducted at all.

School administrators and law enforcement personnel have answered critics by saying that if it helps to save even one child’s life then no matter how real or frightening they may be, they are indeed well worth it.

And of course almost everyday these days one can see or hear someone in government demanding that Planned Parenthood be de-funded and that perhaps the United States government should even be shut down because if it means saving the life of even one unborn child then it would be well worth the effort and the cost.

So can’t we have some stricter background checks for gun ownership and maybe tougher registration procedures to ensure safer ownership and perhaps even new gun laws that are more in tune with laws that we already have for the safe owning and operating of motor vehicles and for the regulation and use of drugs and narcotics? I mean even if they save the life of even one child wouldn’t it be worth it?

Nope! Definitely not. It wouldn’t be worth the life of any number of children or adults. Even if it didn’t cost anything… and even if everyone still got to keep all the guns they wanted. Now way. No how. Uh-uh…

Unrequited Love

5 Oct

Since the December 2012 shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, there have been at least 142 school shootings in America — an average of nearly one a week…and sadly those are probably just the ones that have occurred in places where people bother to count them…because let’s face it: Here in America we don’t just love guns, we adore them. We canonize them. We keep them handy and by our sides as though they were the personification of the guardian angels of our dreams.

For what gun owner in America is not brought happiness by the purchase of their gun? To the average law abiding citizen a gun means protection for himself and his family. His gun may someday be needed to fend off an invading government, or perhaps protection from his own government gone mad? His gun will be there by his side should an intruder invade his home and threaten his family. And perhaps someday when he is out among ordinary and gunless citizens his firearm will help him save the day and his fellow citizens as he uses it to gun down that unsuspected madman who had decided to use his gun upon defenseless citizens for his own evil purposes. All of these possibilities make that gun owner smile and feel happy about his gun ownership don’t they?

And what criminal isn’t happy to possess his or her gun? That weapon will enhance his abilities to ply his trade. It will help him to stand out among his fellow thieves and scoundrels or at least place him on an equal footing. He will be able to demand respect from others and take his revenge upon them if need be. And law enforcement officers will be wary of confronting him should their paths cross. And for all of these reasons the criminal smiles when he thinks about his gun.

And what about the disturbed, disenfranchised and/or mentally ill individual who possesses or takes ownership of a gun? Their guns provide hope, solace and the potential for a quick and immediate solution to their problems should they become too overwhelming or unbearable…and in doing so must provide a sense of comfort and closure to their difficulties, which is akin to happiness is it not? In fact it seems that today most of us expect or even accept as fact that a madman’s madness will manifest itself in mass murder… with a gun.

It’s become so common and expected that no one in America has any plans to take measures to stop gun violence or to even attempt to make it more difficult to obtain and use a gun in anger or angst. Consider these explanations from some of our Republican presidential candidates:

Dr. Ben Carson: “Laws just don’t work because crazy people don’t obey laws.”

Jeb Bush: “Stuff happens.”

Carly Fiorina: “We already have laws. Let’s just enforce them.”

Donald Trump: “Whaddaya gonna do?”

And the Democrats don’t have any ideas either…at least none that they plan to pursue with any seriousness, in fear that no one will vote for them after they do…propose some kind of tougher serious gun control, even if it isn’t tough or serious.

Because when you have an unrequited love what do you do? You keep on loving the beloved. And when a lover does you wrong? You give them another chance. You make excuses. You figure, what are the chances it will happen again and you go on doing what you do…being in love.

Guns don’t kill people. Only People kill people…When people do kill people it’s because they’re crazy. I don’t know any crazy people. Do you? 30 thousand gun deaths per year in a land of 330 million? That’s a .0001 chance that it will happen to me. The freedom to defend myself is worth so much more than the indiscriminate deaths of people I don’t know. Gun ownership is written in the Constitution and everyone knows the Constitution can’t be changed!

Yes, there is no end to our rationalization when it comes to America’s first love. But as fortune, or misfortune, would have it, guns don’t love people. Only people love guns. And here in the USA we love our guns more than we love life itself…and profoundly more sad than that, is the fact that we do nothing, but prove that love each and every day.

Who’s Responsible for This?

30 Sep
 Nasa’s Curiosity rover

Have you heard that NASA’s Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter has discovered flowing water on Mars!? And where their is water there is possibly life! And if their is life on Mars what does this say about the origins of life in our Universe? The possibilities for debates between American scientists and theologians will be endless.

NASA would like to investigate further and of course goes to great lengths to make sure that its surface probes are free of any microbial spores before they land on Mars lest they contaminate the very planet on which they are seeking life. But Of course accidents do happen and should life be discovered on Mars by the nearest NASA land probe to the possible water source on Mars, within the next few months say, you know what that will mean?

Somehow poor Hillary is going to have an awful lot of explaining to do… to an awful lot of Republican committees!

Who’s Struggling Now?

28 Sep
American citizens (along with other international students) can now attend all German universities…for free! And that’s because the last German state to charge university tuition has eliminated those fees! Wow! How do they do it? College for free? And for foreigners too? Didn’t we go to war with this country… and win… 70 years ago? Shouldn’t we be charging them money to go to our universities? And so much so that school is free for all of us Americans? You know, like that wall Donald trump wants to build and make the Mexicans pay for.
So what gives? Why is Germany being so nice to us and how can they afford it? Apparently most German statesmen and stateswomen believe that tuition fees are unjust and that they discourage young people, who do not have a traditional academic family background, from taking up study. Gee, In the Unites States that’s the whole point of higher education isn’t it?… To separate the haves from their money while also separating them from the have-nots, who don’t have any money to be separated from in the first place.
The Germans also believe that It is a core task of politics to ensure that young women and men can study with a high quality standard that is free of charge. For goodness sake where did they get these ideas? In the U.S. the core task of politics is to raise the interest rate on student loans while making sure that those loans are exempt from bankruptcy filings guaranteeing that America’s young students will be in debt to financial institutions for all time…and so far to the tune of over 1 trillion dollars!
And get this! Even before Germany abolished college tuition for all students, typical semester fees were around $630 and German students could also count on discounts for food, clothing, events, and inexpensive or even free transportation to and from school…Come to think of it we used to do that here in the states too, back in the 70s. I remember that because I was there! But then we got wise and realized that marketing to students, teenagers and even little kids is tremendously lucrative, especially when they have to borrow all of their money from adults! It was like taking candy from babies! or, er, well, selling candy to babies! And today we are all proud to say that the average student loan debt in the U.S. is now almost 30 thousand dollars…with a bullet!
Silly Germans! What are they thinking? Have they gone socialist on us…in just 70 years? We sure didn’t indoctrinate those folks very well did we? They never learned anything about free enterprise and unfettered capitalism! Now they are just giving valuable educations… to their children…for free?! And they want to include our children as well!!
Ach, du lieber! Mein Kampf! When they ask your children what language they’d like to study in high School, make sure you tell them to say, German! Duh, I mean Deutsch! And forget that college savings plan. Just start booking those tickets now! This is America, remember?! By next year a ticket from here to Germany will probably cost $100,000!!! One way!

There’s No Place Like Home?

24 Sep

It’s getting very hard to follow the Republican Candidates for president of the United States. It seems as though they are using some form of Republican “New-speak” or rather a language that their Republican base can understand but that leaves the rest of us scratching our heads and wondering how they can fit both of their feet in their mouths at the same time.

Yesterday Jeb Bush said that the United States is “creeping toward multiculturalism” and described it as “the wrong approach.” Yet Jeb Bush has a wife who is Mexican by birth and he himself speaks fluent Spanish and embraces Spanish cuisine like Guacamole…but then again who doesn’t…like guacamole that is?

America is Multi-cultural isn’t it? Hasn’t it always been? So what kind of multi-multiculturalism are we creeping toward that isn’t good for us? And who is the good governor talking to when he says that? Perhaps he was addressing those among his party who see modern day immigrants to this country as threatening…even though we pride ourselves on being a “nation of immigrants.” Could it be the “kind of immigrant” that you are that matters?

The day before that, presidential candidate, Dr. Ben Carson, said that Islam and the Presidency of the United States would not make a good fit, as in, a Muslim would not make a good president. Said Dr. Carson, “I would not advocate that we put a Muslim in charge of this nation. I absolutely would not agree with that”.

Of course everyone knows that our constitution in no way specifies what religion a President of the United States can and can’t be. He simply must be of age and an American citizen. So what was the good doctor talking about and who was he talking to? Could it be that he was speaking to the 40% of Republican voters who already think that we have a Muslim president…who by the way, they hate?

And how about Senator Rafael Ted Cruz (that’s his Christian name) who was born in Canada?! And his father was born in Cuba! And no Republican has any problem with his running for president? Yet President Barry (His nickname, as in Ted) Obama, was supposed to prove that he was an American citizen even though he actually was born in the USA!?

But as any good constitutionalist and Republican knows, it doesn’t matter where one is born anyway because if your mother is an American citizen, as are both Senator Cruz’s and President Obama’s mothers…and which has never, ever been disputed…you ARE an AMERICAN CITIZEN! Duh…

So what is it with these Republican candidates who, as well educated and intelligent human beings, know better than to say the things that keep coming out of their mouths? No wonder “The Donald” is leading in all of the Republican polls. He’s the only one who is speaking in “American” and not “Double-speak” or “New-speak”, so that we all can hear the message loud and clear… It’s all about hate and fear and prejudice and wanting to go home again to the America of the 1950s where civil rights and civil liberties and feminism had yet to rear their ugly heads.

So I guess that all you have to do is put on your ruby slippers America and repeat after those candidates for the Republican nomination for the presidency:…”There’s no place like home, There’s no place like home, There’s no place like home.” But when you wake up next year, guess what? It’s going to be 2016…whether you like it or not, and this kind of 20th Century Fox nonsense isn’t going to help anybody solve our 21st century problems.

For the Love of Reagan

22 Sep

When Jeb Bush was asked which woman from American history should appear on the new ten dollar bill he answered, “Margaret Thatcher.” He said that was because she worked so well with president Ronald Reagan who is considered by most Republicans to have been the greatest president who ever lived.

So great apparently is Jeb Bush’s love for the former president that he can’t even think of one woman from the United States’ glorious historic past…or present… who could possibly represent the United States on its 10 dollar bill…not one! All he can think of is an English woman who supported and mirrored President Reagan’s policies while she was the Prime Minister of Great Britain!  Mr. Bush added that it probably would be illegal and not allowed, but Margaret Thatcher would be his choice for the tenner.

Wow! That’s quite a bro-mance wouldn’t you say? They say that some people see stars in their eyes when they’re in love but…I guess if your a woman who is an American citizen then there’s probably not much that you can do to attract the good governor’s attention… for he’s got eyes for someone else…probably not even if you vote for him!


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