No Pseudo For You!

22 Mar

Image result for pseudoephedrine

So I made my usual trip to the pharmacy to purchase my allotment of Claritin-D which is regulated by the Federal government because it contains Pseudophedrine, a substance that can be used to make Crystal-Meth, and when I produced my driver’s license (necessary according to Federal law) and it was scanned into the pharmacy’s computer, the computer responded with a funny noise and…

No Pseudo for me!

Now I don’t make Crystal-Meth, and I don’t want to…but I do have allergies and Claritin-D helps a lot but the machine hath spoken… said the clerk, and I was denied my medication. She didn’t know why the machine made a funny noise and when she called over the pharmacist he didn’t know either. And don’t look at me because I didn’t have a clue, except for the fact that my wife might have taken one or two of my pills during the course of the past week and so I may have used my allotment without knowing it…but the computer apparently did!

And since the machine made the noise and refused to continue with the transaction there was nothing any of us could do. No sale! No how! No way! I was left to my sneezes and itchy nose and hopes for another day…

Once upon a time I was able to receive my allergy medication from a doctor who would prescribe it for me and the pharmacist would fill the prescription and that was that. Then the medication was approved for over the counter sales and not only did it become more expensive but also was subject to more government regulation and hence the day was soon to come when not a doctor, nor a law enforcement officer, but rather a common clerk would have the authority to tell me:

No Pseudo for you!

Now what am I to do? Turn to Heroine? That won’t help with my allergies! Hit the black market? Turn to a life of crime? Or perhaps I will have to just wait until the machine says that it is OK for me to have some more…after all I am not a criminal and I am not in the Crystal-Meth making business nor do I need any more than the amount necessary to quench my allergy symptoms…

So I ask you: Why can’t we do this with Opioids?

Just take them out of the hands of the doctors who always seem to prescribe more than they should because they empathize so strongly with the pain and suffering of their patients. Take them out of the hands of the Pharmaceutical companies who can’t seem to help wanting to make as much money as they possibly can by producing more pills than is humanly possible for humans to consume responsibly, and also take them out of the hands of the pharmacists who fill prescriptions simply because… they are prescribed.

Let’s put opioids in the hands of the computers and the common store clerk who has no authority to do what he or she can’t do except say, No Oxy for you! …When the machine goes whir or beep or whatever. Then the opioid user has a choice: Wait until they can purchase more to manage their pain, as medically prescribed by federal law, or…turn to a life of crime. In which case they would then be responsible for their own addiction (which we don’t seem to hold them responsible for now…like the hundreds of thousands of addicts we stow away in our prisons)

We’ve been at war with drugs in America for 60 years! Law enforcement has not worked…but they’re still on the job. Walls have not worked…but we still want to build more. Drug companies have not helped.. and they still keep churning out more and more pills. Doctors have not helped….and they still keep on writing those prescriptions. So Maybe simple computers and work-a-day clerks can get the job done?



Guns… In… Space!

17 Mar

Image result for guns in space

Space Cadets arise! It’s time to join the Space Force!

President Donald Trump has declared that space is a “theater of war”, and he has come up with the idea of creating a Space Force, a branch of the military that would operate outside of earth’s atmosphere….you know, like, in space!

“Space is a war-fighting domain, just like the land, air, and sea,”  The President recently told an audience of service members at a Marine Corps Air Station. “We may even have a Space Force, develop another one, Space Force. We have the Air Force, we’ll have the Space Force.”

He was so excited kids. He had to say it 3 times in a run-on sentence! (Do not try this in school)

Our forward thinking president then described how he’d originally coined the term as a joke, while discussing U.S. government spending and private investment in space. “I said, ‘maybe we need a new force, we’ll call it the Space Force,’ and I was not really serious. Then I said, ‘what a great idea,’ maybe we’ll have to do that!”

President Trump told this to a crowd of Marines and I am disappointed to say that they loved the idea… And even more disturbing, a contingent of House lawmakers in June proposed dividing the Air Force into two separate branches, one dedicated to aviation and a second, dedicated to space ventures. May the Force be with us!…and in space too!

The President (of the universe?) however, continued…”From the very beginning, many of our astronauts have been soldiers and air men, coast guard men and marines. And our service members will be vital to ensuring America continues to lead the way into the stars.”

And shoot them? …Sounds like a plan doesn’t it? But who will America fight out in space? We WILL need an enemy won’t we? Maybe that’s why we want to go to Mars…to establish a colony of Martians… and then invade!?…or maybe goad them into invading us? One can’t be too careful I guess.

Space is a gun free zone at the moment and with our luck some trigger happy, crazy, unloved, parent hating, alien loner from a far off planet where their constitution deifies weaponry, will wander into our air space (space space?) and start shooting up the thermosphere! (Hopefully just with like, guns… like we have)

Anyway, in case you might think I’m making this all up, Representative Mike Rogers, a Republican from Alaska and the biggest backer in Congress of a military space branch, said that directives have been included in the most recent National Defense Authorization bill that could facilitate the Space Corps plan in the future.

“This is just the first step,” said the Congressman. “We will not allow the United States national security space enterprise to continue to drift toward a space Pearl Harbor.”

Meanwhile, back on Earth, according to a report from Homeland Security in a department far, far away…Russian Earth-men have infiltrated our nuclear, electric and water power plant operating systems (which are still using software from a century far, far behind) and apparently remain there in cyberspace! (not space space)… waiting to…turn them off?… Should the situation or need arise???

And our President and our Congress have absolutely nothing to say about how they plan on defending us from that!




Did You Get Your Money?

8 Mar

Image result for tax reform

There is a commercial being run on television here in the New York metropolitan area featuring a young mother explaining to the camera that now that she has received her 2,000 dollar increase in her pay check and a $1,000 bonus from the company she works for… as direct results of the recent Republican tax reform, life in America is so much easier because she and her family can now afford to buy so many more of the things that they need.

Has this happened to you? Are you earning 3,000 dollars more than you were 3 months ago? The commercial says that this is the average increase in middle class workers pay throughout the country.

I have received about 32 dollars more in my monthly pay or around 380 dollars over the course of this coming year…and of course since I have not filled out my 2018 tax return, because that will not be due until another year from now, I have no way of knowing whether I will receive more in tax savings or will have to pay it all back (and more?) because of the deductions I am going to lose because of the new tax plan.

So are we all getting richer or am I the only unlucky tax payer in America?

I would love to hear about your good fortunes! Thanks!

It’s Aca…Epidemic

22 Feb



Unfortunately here in America gun violence is now both academic and epidemic and has been for a long time…for such a long time that we are no longer even surprised that there is so much gun violence in America. Let me ask you this: When you heard about the most recent mass shooting at a public high school in Florida was your first thought or question, “How many?”…I’ll bet it wasn’t, “I can’t believe it” or “How shocking!”

A few weeks ago I heard a newscaster say on the air, “Today we had the largest mass shooting in a church.” …mass killings by lone individuals have become so common here in America that we now categorize them. We no longer just ask “how many” we also want to know where the killings happened. “Gee, was it in a Church? Movie Theater? Office building? At a concert? In a Public school?… Really? College, High School or Grammar??”

So far a total of 30 mass shooting incidents have occurred as of February 14, in 2018 alone… including the most recent school shooting in Florida. Can you even name or remember the other 29?…When? Where? or Who? and by Whom?… It’s only been 45 days since they ALL occurred.

But oddly enough for a country that seems to be so good at violence we don’t even agree on a definition as to what a mass shooting is. According to the Gun Violence Archive, a mass shooting is described as four or more individuals being shot or killed in the same general time and location while the The F.B.I. defines a “mass killing” as the killing of three or more people in a public place.

Here’s another way to understand how routine gun killing has become here in America. If you are now thinking: “Only 3 or 4 at a time is a mass shooting? That’s all?” …58 is the record so far…in case you were wondering. In fact, There have been 1,624 mass shootings in the last 1,870 days with 8 thousand seven hundred and twenty three casualties…(8,723!)

And now you might be thinking: “That sounds like quite a lot of people for 1,624 shootings…But how many of those casualties were actually, you know, people who were killed?” We Americans do like to qualify our statistics… but does it really matter? Is being wounded, terrified or emotionally broken during a mass shooting really all that much better than being killed? Because quite often we don’t even count you when we recall the tragedy in it’s aftermath, do we?

That’s how much we love guns in America! We don’t want guns to feel too bad for all of the havoc, pain and suffering they wreak upon our countrymen so we just count the dead, offer our rote prayers and let the wounded heal themselves and move on with our own lives. In fact we love to say that guns don’t kill people at all… Silly humans…it’s the people that do the killing! So don’t feel bad guns, you are totally innocent and blameless in this equation.

And it isn’t even people that do the killing. It’s “crazy people!” that do it. In fact if you outlawed the innocent guns, then only regular normal Americans would be deprived of their beloved guns while the crazy people and outlaws (also crazy) would have all of the guns…because…there is no way to keep “crazy people” from getting a hold of and having guns because…”they are crazy!!!”

And besides, have you not read the 2nd Amendment to our Constitution of these United States which is the greatest and most noble of all of the Amendments and which supersedes and supplants all other documents and writs, amendments and rules…including those of the second greatest document ever written, and that one in stone!

Let us never forget that it is written: Thou shalt own a gun if thou wants one! And as many as thou likes! In all their newest and most recent incarnations! And from the first time when our Founding Fathers’s first formed this immutable truth in their divine minds until the crack of doom shall they be made available to all American citizens of all ages! Amen!

And even though the 2nd Amendment, rather succinctly and somewhat poetically, says this: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”…I’m pretty sure that my version is what many if not most Americans hear in their gun adoring minds when they read those most sacred words.

Why do you suppose that our Founding Fathers put words like “militia” and “regulated” into that amendment along with commas and clauses, if they had no meaning or purpose? They must have had a reason don’t you think? Sadly, Our Supreme Court can’t even figure that one out…and they went to lots of schools! Where supposedly they learned language and how to read a sentence.

And now look what’s happened. Our institutions of learning, have become killing grounds…no offense to you churches, theaters, concert venues, office buildings… and our homes!…for you too have become frightening fields of fire also. So what to do?

Gun proponents have an idea! One that they just won’t let go…and that of course is: GUNS! More guns! Great, Glorious and Mandatory guns for everyone! Teachers, Reverends, Office Managers, Concert Organizers…Heck EVERYONE should have a gun and be at the ready to shoot “the crazy ones”!

Sure, that doesn’t sound crazy. It sounds cool! In comes the shooter. He (not sexist because it’s always a he) comes in to wherever, and starts to shoot people… and then other people (not crazy, hes or shes) take out their guns and start a shootout! Which continues until the police arrive with their guns, calm things down (another shootout?) and sort out the victims, villains and new heroes! And hopefully it’s all recorded so we other Americans can watch on TV how it all worked so well and then hand out our prayers, penalties and awards.

And this will of course work because Other crazy people with guns will of course be watching also and they will realize that they had better not go out shooting in places where they thought would be others without guns because they will just get shot too. And so the violence will end and our much beloved guns will be the reason why.

And so now you are thinking: “Boy this guy is really stupid!” There will be no shootouts because the bad guys will already know that everyone is carrying a gun because gun laws will be passed allowing everyone, everywhere to carry a “concealed weapon” and then the bad guys won’t know if you have one or not or who has one or doesn’t and then they will be afraid to go anywhere to shoot anyone because they might get shot. The end.

But now let me ask you this: Imagine for an instant that you want to go out and kill people (because you are crazy) and you have an AR-15 semi-automatic assault style rifle but you are afraid that regular normal people are packing too, (handguns) so, can you think of any other places to go besides, schools, concerts, churches, office buildings and theaters? Go ahead and try…I’ll wait…

Well? Anywhere and everywhere comes to my mind and I don’t want to give any ideas to anyone lest you think me crazy but so far in this essay I have forgotten to mention malls, homes and post offices as places where we have had many mass shootings. Remember the phrase “Going Postal”? Once upon a time post offices and postmen (not women) were places and people to stay away from. I wonder why we don’t go postal anymore? Email?

Anyway, most of America’s mass shooters were known to have violent tendencies or criminal pasts. Others seemed largely fine until they attacked. All but were male and the vast majority were between the ages of 20 and 49. More than half — 88 of them — died at or near the scene of the shooting, often by killing themselves…so mass shooters are often not even thinking about living to “tell the tale” or gloat in their madness. So I sincerely doubt that you or me having a gun with which to defend ourselves will deter their madness in any way…in fact it might just provide more of a challenge to them. Why? Because they are freaking, crazy nut-bars! Remember?

Just so you know, here is a computer rendering of an average mass shooter in America taken from the analysis and conglomeration of faces of 39 recent mass American killers. Notice anything that might give you a clue as to what to look out for in the future as you make it through your typical daily life adventures?

It’s white men who are most often the perpetrators behind mass violence! More than 50 percent of shooters are white. That’s more than three 1/2 times the likelihood of a black shooter and despite misconceptions of terrorists from the Middle East killing Americans, only 4 percent of mass shooters are Middle Eastern.

Which brings us to another question: Why do we spend trillions of dollars on our military and on waging wars in far off countries in efforts to protect our freedom and to keep us safe from immigrants who “just want to come over here and kill us” when we Americans are the ones who do almost all of the killing in America? The average yearly score is something like 35,000 to 6! So put down the phone and get out of the house! The killer is in the house!

Even American toddlers out kill terrorists (accidentally of course) and that’s only when they have access to guns, which is why gun owners live more dangerous lives than non gun owners…but do we have a war on toddlers? Of course not.

Let’s face it. Americans enjoy killing, especially with guns. It is our preferred method of murder and of suicide. We may even have a gun parade this fall in the middle of Washington D.C….And when our President goes on his speaking rallies he mentions a stronger military and the crowd goes wild! When he says that he has done more to protect our 2nd Amendment rights in his first year as President than any other President…the crowd goes wild! When he says that he will build a wall and keep murdering, horrible, shit hole foreigners out of our country…the crowd goes Ape shit!

This is what we do people. Among the industrialized nations of the world, We are first in childhood poverty and first in military expenditures! We are first in childhood hunger and first in gun ownership! We are first in school shootings and first in children without access to proper healthcare! Is it any wonder that we are first in crazy?

Right now people on Twitter are trashing the children in Florida for demonstrating against gun violence. The White House is blaming the FBI as a useless, corrupt, wasteful organization that needs to be purged and even many of our leaders of faith are taking the side of the poor innocent AR-15 because what we have here is not a gun problem… it’s a social disease that can only be cured with more Jesus.

Well, we Americans do have some kind of disease and whatever it is we’ve got it bad. So bad that many of us can no longer even accept that we have a disease or were ever even sick in the first place.

Let’s face it we have all of the signs of addiction: We have a problem but won’t do anything about it. When someone else points out that we have a problem we refuse to believe it. We think someone else has the problem. We accept no solutions, because we have no problem in the first place. When our pusher/provider (The NRA) tells us that what we need is more product…we buy more product. And when and if the law does come around to try to penalize us we bad mouth the law.

Cravings, Tolerance, Dependence, Poor Judgement, Withdrawal, Neglect. We’ve got all of the signs! We’re Gunaholics! Firearms have become our heroine…our drug of choice…and we can’t get sober… and we are not about to go cold turkey on our guns any time soon. Nohow, noway.

So what do we do? When you are an addict there are only two ways to go. Withdrawal or Overdose and as everyone who has ever been an addict or been with an addict knows…it is up to the addict to decide. So which way will America go? What shall we decide? I have no clue but I would offer up one suggestion as we move forward.

Please don’t let us white guys lead the way. We will trick you at every turn.






It’s Official!

15 Feb

#EndorseThis: Jimmy Kimmel Discovers Hair-Raising Truth About Trump’s Wind

Now if only the wind would blow the President’s tax returns to a place where we could see them! I for one would like to know what kind of a tax break he is getting in his weekly earnings and if/or he pays any taxes at all. The answer my friends is still blowing in the wind.

At least we know why our president can’t start his day until 11AM. He’s doing his hair and makeup…and we were worried about electing a woman to the presidency!

Anyway, I know it’s not that important but in today’s world of politics…er…entertainment this is a big story… but I guess that’s life…hair today…

gone tomorrow.


Call Me Irresponsible…

8 Feb

Democrats stand and Republicans sit as President Barack Obama delivers his State of the Union address on Capitol Hill in Washington, Wednesday, Jan. 27, 2010. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

Or you can call me a liberal or you can call me Democrat or you can call me disagreeable or you can call me opinionated or you can call me independent…but you doesn’t hasta call me a traitor!

When asking what it was like to give the State of the union address and having one side of the Congressional aisle not applaud him, President Trump said that the Democrats were, “like death. Un-American. Somebody said treasonous,” he continued. “Can we call that treason? Why not?” he asked the crowd.

And of course the crowd (of Republicans) went wild! What’s the matter with our President and his minions? Wasn’t just calling us all sons of bitches good enough for them? So what?…they had to get personal?

Really? If I don’t agree with the President of the United States and don’t applaud his every word and I am an American citizen then I must be a traitor? Un-American? Really? If I’m not a registered Republican in a two party system then I am being treasonous? Synonymous with being a conspirator, spy, traitor, turncoat, rebel, Judas, Benedict Arnold? Really?

What happened to the America that once was the home of the free and the land of the brave? You remember that America don’t you? The one we used to sing about? Where we were free to believe what we believe and brave enough to stand up for our beliefs?

You remember that country don’t you? The Country where Republicans, like those pictured above, once were allowed to sit on their hands for 8 years when our last POTUS gave his 8 State of the Union Addresses from 2009 to 2016?

Not only didn’t they ever applaud their President but sometimes they shouted from the gallery “liar!” And even had their speaker publicly declare that they would never, ever, ever even work with him. (And they didn’t… for 8 years!) They said that our President wasn’t even an American and pretended that they were searching for his birth records (not) and even declared that they were uncovering evidence that he was here to destroy our country (weren’t, didn’t) and yet… they weren’t being treasonous then…were they?

So how about we just call our President and his Republican sycophants… hypocrites or charlatans or phonies or fakers or frauds or dissemblers or two faced con artists…but we doesn’t hasta call them traitors… now do we?


Spending Spree!?

7 Feb

Image result for Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin and his wife posing with money

House Majority Leader, Paul Ryan, tweeted recently that “a secretary at a public high school in Lancaster, PA, said she was pleasantly surprised her pay went up $1.50 a week …  she said [that] will more than cover her Costco membership for the year.”

That’s 78 bucks per year and Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin, pictured above with his lovely wife and their lovely trophy (or is that trophy wife and their lovely money?) said that 90 percent of American workers will see some kind of an increase in their take-home pay.

My increase was $7.38 per week for a total tax break of 384 big ones! But of course I have not filed my taxes for 2018 yet because it’s not 2019 yet so I still have to wait a whole year to see how much of the 384 dollar yearly raise I will actually be able to keep. All of it? Some of it? Will I have to give it back plus some because of the other changes to my tax deductions? After all I live in… New Jersey!!!!

Anyway, if you read this blog I would be interested to know what your tax break looks like…

If you would like to share, please leave the size of your weekly pay increase (or bi-weekly or monthly if you choose) in the comments column. I’d be interested to see a cross section of readers and their “raises”. Thanks!

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