Hey! He’s, Like, Smart!

11 Dec

Image result for Trump

President-elect Donald Trump said that he is not concerned about his not participating in the traditional daily intelligence and national security briefings that he is supposed to receive every day…and apparently neither should the American people, because…

“I get it when I need it. I’m, like a smart person.” He told a Sunday TV news host. And he added, “I don’t have to be told the same thing in the same words every single day. I don’t need that. But I do say, ‘If something should change, let us know.'”

Just imagine how Trump supporters would react if words like that came out of President Obama’s mouth or Hillary Clinton’s mouth? If they declared themselves too smart for daily briefings Republicans heads would explode! Oh the elitism! Oh the vacation time! Oh the lack of time on task! For goodness sake are they sick or lazy? Maybe both?!

And when it was reported by the CIA and members of Congress that the intelligence community has reached a “consensus” that Russia definitely intervened in the presidential election to help Trump win the Presidency…of The United States!?

Well, the president-elect’s transition team responded by mocking the spy agency with “they’re same people that said Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction.”  And PE Trump added in an interview with Time Magazine: “It could be Russia. And it could be China. And it could be some guy in his home in New Jersey.”

Not only doesn’t our President-elect believe in taking regular intelligence and security briefings. He doesn’t even believe them when he gets them! Because he’s more intelligent than our intelligence agencies!

How lucky are we to finally have an intelligent president? And we know he’s intelligent because of the way he uses words like “like” and “New Jersey” in such appropriate ways. As in: “I’m… like… smart!” And “Some guy in New Jersey did it!” Hey! Only we New Jersians can blame things on New Jersey! And use like like that, like, you know???

But on the bright side,  Mr.Trump emphasized that Vice President-elect Mike Pence was receiving daily briefings.

So at least someone, like… wants to be President!

 

 

 

It’s Academic!

10 Dec

Image result for Buy American. Hire American

Donald Trump ran for President on a very simple message that he repeated over and over again at every campaign stop on his way to victory: “Buy American! Hire American!” Don’t take my word for it just check it out and see how many videos pop up in your browser.

He also said that he would fight for American jobs and secure better wages, better working conditions and better jobs just like Americans used to have. He was the one man who could “Make America Great Again!”

Image result for Donald Trump: Buy American. Hire American

Now President Elect Donald Trump is hiring foreign workers to staff his Mar-a-Lago Mansion in Palm Beach, Fla., again this winter.

Image result for mar a lago trump club

According to the Palm Beach Post (and other news outlets) President Elect Trump won approval to hire 64 foreign workers through the federal government’s H-2B visa program. He hired 69 workers through the same program last year. And although most will get a whopping 1% raise many will be taking a pay cut from last years salaries.

If you’d like a job there as a cook you can make $12.74 cents an hour…but of course you would apparently have to prove that you are not an American citizen.

The Mar-A-Lago club will hire 30 waiters and waitresses at $11.13 an hour,  and 15 housekeepers at $10.17 an hour. So pass that on to any illegals who happen to be already working in your neck of the woods. Perhaps they would like a change of venue? After all, winter is coming…

And this is a real story! It’s actually true! It’s Not one of those crazy, made up, conspiracy theory, We hate Hillary, stories that, you know, President Elect Trump likes to tweet and spread around.

How do we know this? Well, Mr. trump was actually asked about why he hires foreign workers and he said:

“Because during the season, Mar-A-Lago, it’s a seasonal job, which is very hard to get people in Florida for seasonal jobs. And during the season in Palm Beach, Palm Beach is probably maybe the hottest real estate, maybe in the world. And during the season in Palm Beach, it’s very, very hard to get help. You can’t, we’re talking about Mar-A-Lago, the club is closed for the summer. You know the expression, ‘Rich people don’t like heat.’ And we close Mar-A-Lago, and we open October — like October 1st. And from that, for about a five-month period, during what they call the Palm Beach season, which is a big deal, you can’t get help. So we tend to get help from different places, including Europe, and we’ve been doing that. And by the way, these are all legal visas, you understand that, Mike. These are all legal visas. But they — we have to bring people in, which tells you, I mean, you can have jobs out there, in certain communities that are doing well. But in Palm Beach, getting help in Palm Beach during the season is almost impossible. So we go through a very legal process, and we bring people in through legal visas.”

So there you have it America. American workers are simply too impossible to find! There aren’t enough of them to go around. How is a super rich President Elect supposed to trickle down on American workers when he’s been looking everywhere for them and they’re just nowhere to be found? The only solution is legal visas for foreign workers and tax cuts for the wealthy!…everybody knows that!

Now Aren’t you glad that Middle-Americans across the USA decided to back “The Donald” to show America’s academics that they were tired of all of their Congressional smart-assery?

Hooray for the US electorate!

Down with Academics! Up with Schmucks!

 

The War is Over!

8 Dec

Image result for war on christmas

And Christmas has won!

According to the Donald Trump camp the election of Donald trump has made it OK to say ‘Christmas’ again and apparently  saying “Merry Christmas…Is not a pejorative word anymore.” Pejorative (for you non-elites) means expressing contempt or disapproval.

Really? Has anyone noticed a particular disdain or contempt from anyone that you might have said merry Christmas to over the last few years? Rumor has it (Fox News) that President Obama ushered in a war on America’s most celebrated holiday some 8 years ago because of the liberal left’s mad desire for political correctness…and of course because President Obama, well you know, is not from around here. (Sean Hannity, Donald Trump)

But those days are over now because way back in August Mr. Trump said that he always makes a particular effort to say ‘Christmas’ in  acknowledgement of the nation’s “persecuted” Christians…and he vowed that, if elected, he would right wrongs by making sure that the words ‘Merry Christmas’ be featured in department stores all across the land…

because they haven’t been?

Anyway, the war is over! And the 83% of Americans who identify themselves as Christians, (that’s 270 million!) won’t have to take crap from the 13% of Americans who say they have no religion at all.(only 44 million)

Imagine that! 13% pushing the other 83% around and not letting us Christians say Merry Christmas to each other without having to feel persecuted and bad about our beliefs. How did they ever get away with it?! It certainly wasn’t the Muslims, Jews and Buddhists and other non-Christian religious folks pushing us around and stomping on our Christmas rights because there are only about 13 million of them in America…combined!

How does 83% of a country find themselves in the minority in the first place? And losing a war with the other 17% too? But it was happening dammit! And we couldn’t win no matter how hard we tried! Until finally a savior appeared at just the right time, from a Trump tower on high, to turn the tide in Christmas’s favor.

Hallelujah! It was a Christmas miracle! And we can now all, Thank Trump for that!

So…Merry Christmas everyone! (now don’t you all feel better?)

 

 

Let the Healing Begin…

3 Dec

Trump Cincinnati

President elect Trump is still on the rally circuit…even though he has already won the election. I am guessing that this is the beginning of the “Let Us All Heal Together and Begin Working As One United Nation” tour.

But today his message was that we Democrats are all poor losers and he wanted to ram that message home and rub it in…to the delight of all of his fellow ralliers…so much for the healing process. I guess it’s not time yet?

But who stages a gloating rally after winning? And who goes?

Anyway, The President Elect just wanted to take some time out of his busy schedule to let everyone know that he won the election by a landslide. Because as everyone in America knows winning the electoral vote and losing the popular vote by over 2 million voters is the definition of a landslide.

He also wanted to remind us losers that we cheated by rounding up over 3 million illegal aliens to vote unfairly (and invisibly) against him…and that’s why his “landslide” was not bigger.

It was of course the press’s fault because they (the press) are all “very dishonest bad people and losers”. Especially the New York Times which he singled out as a failing newspaper run by “really bad and really sick” people. (and not the kind of sick that requires a doctor or medicine)

He also added “We condemn bigotry and prejudice in all its forms. We denounce all of the hatred and forcefully reject the language of exclusion.”…so there is that…I guess?

The Red, White and Blue crowd responded happily with chants of “Lock her up! Lock her up!”

So I’m not sure if they got the message.

Or did they?

Who stages a rally like that one month after winning the election to become our next President of the United States? And why? Aren’t there better things to do? Aren’t there more important things to do?…As in… Anything?

Apparently, at least for our next president of these United States, winning isn’t everything…

It’s the only thing!

 

Coming Soon: A New Constitution!

29 Nov

Soon to be POTUS says:

Please Don’t Feed the Wildlife

20 Nov

Image result for shoo

And here are some of the reasons why:

*Human food may not healthy for wild animals, and they do not need food from humans to survive.

*Feeding leads to public health concerns. Too many animals in one place increases the chance of disease transmission to people and among other wildlife.

*Animals accustomed to people often lose their fear of people and can become aggressive. Those that become too aggressive may have to be destroyed to protect people and property.

*Animals fed along roads tend to stay near roads, increasing the chance of vehicle-animal accidents.

Now while all of those reasons may sound reasonable, I was not made aware until yesterday while I was watching, of all things, Chopped, The Food Network’s competition cooking show…that apparently cities all across the USA have recently discovered a way to make American wildlife, i.e. the homeless, go away.

Don’t feed them! And many of the ordinances approved by city councils nationwide cite similar reasons as those mentioned above for making the feeding of homeless persons illegal.

Did you know that since 2006 and in efforts to make the homeless in America, for lack of  better words, go away, U. S. cities have gradually been banning and outlawing activities such as camping, begging, sleeping in cars, sitting or standing on the sidewalk for more than 5 minutes and now feeding them!

In over 70 cities nationwide it is now illegal to feed the homeless. In fact recently in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, a 90-year-old WWII veteran was actually arrested for feeding the homeless. And It’s punishable by 60 days in jail or a $500 fine. And in Houston police even ticketed a homeless man for trying to feed himself by fishing a donut from a trash bin in a public park.

Wow! And I thought that cruel insensitivity and a lack of basic decency only existed in our country’s political campaigns. But not so. It’s becoming the law of the land too!

I know I’m just a bleeding heart liberal who should have been paying closer attention…but has it really come to this? Have all of us good Christian American Capitalists really tried everything we could think of in our efforts to ease and erase the plight of our over half a million homeless citizens? (many of whom are also veterans of our wars) Have we simply run out of ideas?

Now our best solution is to codify into law: (because it’s for our and their own good?)

SHOO! SHOO!

Really???

 

 

Our New National Anthem?

15 Nov

I propose this song as the United States new National Anthem! The Star Spangled Banner is so old and out dated and no one can remember all of the words anyway… and it’s too long. And this song that I propose is modern and with a beat plus it captures America’s conflicted and new mood… and it has so few words that everyone can remember them and sing along.

Remember when you were young and your heart was an open book?…Of course you do…

And you probably used to say things like “Live and let live.” Especially to your parents…You know you did.

But the world has changed and now we all say. “Live and let die.”… You know we do.

And it’s even got loud music, crescendos, bombs bursting and fireworks!

So what do you say America? Let’s change our National Anthem. Isn’t it time we did?

Really, What does it matter ? It’s just a song we sing at ball games.

Common! Wouldn’t you just love to sing this song out loud and clear…

and give the other fella hell!

You know you do!

 

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