Killing People and Breaking Things

8 Aug

If you watched the Republican debate yesterday then you know that Mike Huckabee probably summed it up best when he said that “the point of the military is to kill people and break things”, because that was the one thing that all 10 candidates on the dais seemed to agree upon: The United States needs to spend more money on the military…Oh wait, there was another thing: The United States must break from the proposed treaty with Iran.

So If we are to take what they said as gospel then should one of the 10 Republicans be elected president, He will immediately dissolve the treaty with Iran, increase spending on the military and, I assume, eventually go to war with Iran. Because according to all of the Republican candidates you cannot trust the Iranian government, nor any Iranian because they are an evil and untrustworthy sort and that apparently includes all 55 million of them! Which should make for quite a very long war….and more veterans too! Which the Republicans all pledged to take better care of.

But not to worry because the Republican plan to pay for that war includes not raising taxes…not ever! Not one of the candidates plans on adding revenue to the budget because it is already too big and in too much debt. And Really, who wants more money when you are in debt? Not me. How about you?

So how will we pay for a larger military and a possible decades long war with Iran?…By cutting taxes of course! They almost all agree on that. Raise spending and cut income! Cut taxes and collect more money! But from where? Savings of course!

They also all seem to agree that Medicare and Medicaid must go! So should Social Security! And no more Health Care as in The Affordable Care Act! All of those programs are too expensive and broken to boot! We also need to cut welfare and food stamps and programs for the poor and downtrodden… and women especially. Those are all things that we have too much of already.

So with all of this money we are going to save by not helping our citizens make ends meet, what else do we need besides a larger Military? Anything? Yes! Say the Republicans. We need a wall to keep people, namely Spanish people, out!…or a fence will do…or perhaps the Rio Grande filled to the brim with battery acid? (My idea)…but in any event they all agree that something must be done to keep people out of America.

Except for babies! We need more babies, definitely. Because babies, no matter how many months, days or hours old, are people who have rights that need to be protected… just like corporations…but not like mothers…because my best guess is  that a mother is a person who has used up all of her rights by getting pregnant…while a man’s rights it seems are never diminished by impregnating others…just enhanced, I think.

Anyway, that’s the Republican plan in a nutshell:

More: Military, War, Veterans, Veteran care, Walls and Babies.

Less, fewer or no: Taxes, Hispanics, Social Programs, Health Care and Abortions.

So vote Republican! And look for a job in the Armed Forces, construction or a womb near you…but please, please, please, if you choose the womb, do not grow up to be gay, poor, sick, Spanish, a woman or old!

Hot Time in the Old town Tonight

6 Aug

It was 165 degrees in Iraq this week…well at least the heat index was…but that’s still pretty hot! But what can you expect when you live at the axis… of the Axis of Evil? I wonder if any of those uranium dipped bombs and ammunitions we’ve used on those devils over the last 12 years have contributed to the recent heat wave over Baghdad?

Funny how history works isn’t it? Once upon a time the Middle East was the site of the first human civilizations on the planet. The birthplace of the Bible! That was a pretty good thing wasn’t it? Then a few thousand years go by, cities and civilizations rise and fall. People migrate and move about. Sail across a great ocean and discover a new world!… Of course saying that a new world was discovered in the Americas is like taking a bunch of your friends on a vacation to France today and then saying you discovered France when you got there.

Then you go about killing millions of people to empty the place out, import millions more to build stuff for you, open the country up to mass immigrations from other-wheres, eventually declare yourself the greatest country ever, fly back to the original “Cradle of Civilization” declare that place evil and then bomb it into its own past because…

Anybody know why we did that? Was it religion? Oil? Business? Ridding the world of Evil doing?

Well, anyway, now, somehow, there are 55 million more evil people who live in the country next door, who also descend from those original, first civilizations and cities who need dealing with in today’s world. The President of our “new and better” civilization wants to make peace and sign a treaty but most good folks would rather do that which they feel needs doing…and that would be going to war with those 55 million “bad” people….(before they get bombs and use them…like we have or heaven forbid, dip their conventional weapons in the nasty stuff and use them then, like we do now).

But does anyone know why we need to go to war rather than attempt to make peace? Is it religion? Oil? Business? Ridding the world of Evil doing?… Attempting to make peace has an expiration date while war does not?

Who knows? But it sure is hot over there. Perhaps it’s just from the energy of having to live for 6,000 years or so in the same place and all the while having to do endless city building, begetting and civilizing?

In any event, I wonder how hot it’s going to be over here, in the new and improved world in say 6,000 years or so?…I do suppose we or someone else shall see…If we make it that far?

Funny how history works, isn’t it?

The Sporting Life

29 Jul

This week, Walter James Palmer, a dentist from Minnesota, lured Cecil the lion out of Zimbabwe’s Hwange National Park, where he then shot the 13 year old feline with a crossbow, stalked the wounded animal for several hours and finally killed Cecil with a rifle shot before skinning and beheading the poor creature.

Cecil was the most photographed animal in the park and had been wearing a GPS collar as part of a longstanding research program. And the lion was also well know for his friendly attitude toward people. It’s illegal to hunt collared animals, but that didn’t seem to matter to the undaunted dentist who said that he had secured all the legal and proper hunting permits and had no idea that the lion he killed was in any way special.

Apparently Mr. Palmer, DMD is a well known globe-trotting big-game hunter in his spare time so I suppose that after a few long hard weeks of looking into people’s mouths the only way to get any rest and relaxation is to go and kill something. But now after killing poor Cecil the good doctor of dentistry is being harshly criticized on social media and he has even closed his dental office and disconnected his website to avoid the overwhelming amount of criticism he is receiving.

I think Mr. Palmer should consider leaving this country for good and taking up residence in one of the “evil” countries of the world., but North Korea is closed, Iraq is in a shambles and even though Iran has over 55 million evil people residing within its borders at the moment,  Israel would probably be in an uproar should one more evil soul be allowed to join their ranks.

So what to do? Well, It seems to me that if he stays here he has only one logical course to choose: Give up his practice and join the ranks of those running for the Republican nomination for The Presidency of the United States. I think that a guy like him has the qualifications to fit right in.

Insult to Injury

24 Jul

The war on poverty here in the United States continues. And I don’t mean a war as in trying to fight poverty and end it…I mean a war as in, we are fighting poor people and making their lives more miserable than they already are…

Case in point: According to a recent report in USA Today, since November 2009, when Republican Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona announced that her state would test adult welfare recipients if they felt like there was a “reasonable cause” to believe they were getting high, more than 87,000 welfare recipients have been tested.

And the total number of drug cheats caught was exactly…wait for it… one!

When they threw that person off the welfare roles, that saved the state $560. But at 500 dollars per test that’s 43 million 500 thousand dollars spent in order to save…wait for it…560 dollars! That’s a net loss of 43,499,440 taxpayer dollars! And not one person fed, clothed or housed…just hosed.

And when you consider that Governor Brewer promised over 1.7 million dollars in savings from the program because, as we all have been told, and certainly as all Republicans positively know, almost everyone on welfare uses their welfare check to buy drugs…don’t they?

But they don’t!

The fact of the matter is that people who are poor need the money to make ends meet and to pay for the basic necessities of life like housing and food and clothes and such. Poor folks are too busy just trying to survive and don’t have the desire nor the recreational time to get involved in drugs… like I guess the people who govern us do while they sit around dreaming up these truly needless and wasteful programs, born out of their overly suspicious and hateful minds.

Spending over 43 million taxpayer dollars in order to save taxpayers 550 dollars?! And not an apology in sight?! Nor an admittance of guilt, shame or malfeasance on the Arizona Republican government’s part in this insulting and misguided fiasco?!

Instead, wouldn’t you know that six other states have implemented similar programs since 2009. And when Wisconsin Governor, Scott Walker, announced his presidential candidacy last week, what did he say would be one of his priorities if elected president?… Wait for it…

All welfare recipients will be required to pass a drug test prior to collecting public assistance benefits!

What we need to do in this country is have all Republicans drug tested! Because even when confronted with the facts,  shown the results of their own failed policies and forced to come face to face with the fallacies of their erroneous beliefs…they continue to do and say and believe the same things…and with more vim and vigor then before!

If that isn’t a sure sign of drug abuse let alone insanity… then I’m Ronald Reagan!

Like Father Like Son, Like Son?

21 Jul

Republican candidate for president, Jeb Bush, says that he is going to break the mold when it comes to being like the rest of the presidential members of his family because he has some very different ideas about how to make America strong again. Which begs the question…Are we weak now?

Anyway, Jeb’s first key to getting us stronger is to work harder! Apparently what’s wrong with America is that Americans don’t work hard enough and aren’t productive enough. Do you feel that that pretty much describes you and your American family? You’re all a bunch of deadbeats and lazy bones?

So after we all do our part and start working more Jeb says that he’ll do his part, if you elect him president, and do the things that no other Bush before him has done…Like cut government jobs! (but I thought we were going to work more?) And cut taxes… because who needs more money when you are already way too much in debt? And no new spending…on anything new! Unless I suppose there are new wars. In the Bush family I think war is like dessert: There’s always room for war…

Perhaps it sounds like a plan but just Imagine running your own family budget this way.

“Okay kids gather around. Your mother and I have decided to become more productive so we’ll be working more…but on the other hand we will not be asking for any more money from our bosses. In fact we’re going to ask them to keep more of our hard earned money so they can use it to create more jobs for other folks. So with more work for us and less money for you that means some of you will have to grow up and get out, because we’re going to cut spending and downsize and those of you who leave will not be replaced…(so don’t even think about bringing any grandchildren around!) but that’s OK because now that your mother and I are working more we will have to cut back on the 15 minutes that we as average American parents spend with our children each day already… So it all works out! Because More work and less time, while cutting income, along with a reduction in family members and their spending, equals productivity for all! Doesn’t it?…And oh yes, we’ll probably be invading the neighbors house at 0 six hundred tomorrow morning. So look sharp and dress for success. Just use the credit card if you need supplies… That is all.”

He also promised that it wouldn’t be business as usual in old Washington D.C. if he were elected president because he would crack down on the influence of lobbyists, noting that as governor of Florida he enacted a strict ban on gifts from lobbyists to legislators. Of course I think that he got that last idea from one of his top advisers, Sally Bradshaw, who is married to the founder of one of Florida’s most successful lobbying firms…so like his dad and brother before him…you can probably just read his lips to know that he’ll keep that promise!

Now who wants to go look for some more WMDs?!

A Fool and His Money?

15 Jul

I don’t know about you but in my book Former President George W. Bush deserves the title of Worst President ever!

Recently it was disclosed that President Dubbya, as he is so fondly called by those who think he was one of our finest presidents, charged 100,000 dollars to speak at a charity fundraiser for U.S. military veterans who were severely wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan. He was also provided with a jet so he could travel to the fundraiser at a cost of 20,000 extra dollars. And former First Lady Laura Bush, collected $50,000 to appear a year earlier.

The charity, which sounds like a very good cause, helps to provide specially-adapted homes for veterans who lost limbs and suffered other severe injuries in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The charity’s officials said that the total of $170,000 spent on the former President and his wife were for speaking at the fund raiser was justified because the former President and First Lady offered discounted fees and helped raise record amounts in contributions at the galas held in 2011 and 2012.

So that’s the good news… because according to those same charity officials, Former President Bush usually charges 250,000 dollars when he speaks… But seriously, talk about a jobs program! First President Bush has his Neo-Con friends cook up some phony reasons to send men to war in Iraq and then, years later, after he’s out of work, he charges hundreds of thousands of dollars to go speak to the poor unfortunate and disabled veterans of that war!

Wow! Talk about malice aforethought! Mission Accomplished, I guess?

Sure he helped them raise some money for a good cause but with his discounted fee our good ex-president can write off the loss and make it a complete wash on his taxes too. It’s a win/win! And let’s not even mention the fact that President G.W. Bush actually declared the war in Iraq over in 2003…about 10 years before the war actually ended…and also about 10 years of added veterans to help fill his speaking calendar.

Now in all fairness to our most recent former president, other former U.S. Presidents have turned to the speaker’s circuit for a major source of after-presidential income for their post-presidential years. And some of them have earned well into the millions of dollars while doing it…. But really, I ask you…charging veterans of two wars that you were responsible for sending them to… is a bit tacky wouldn’t you say? And besides, does he really need that money? Really?

Remember that woman who spent weeks camped outside of the former President’s vacation ranch in Texas until he would speak to her about her son’s death in the war in Iraq? He never did come out to talk to her. I guess now we know she couldn’t pay, huh?

Anyway, now our former 2nd President Bush, retired form stating wars, cutting taxes for the wealthy and wrecking economies, also likes to spend his time painting likenesses of the heads of state that he has met during his travels…I think that from now on he should simply paint the heads of clowns…very, very sad clowns…

.

Let’s Just Sing a Simple Song of Freedom

14 Jul

“That flag has a lot of different meanings to a lot of different people. It doesn’t symbolize hate unless you think it’s hate – and that’s your problem, not mine.”

This is what some of the thousands of folks at the rally for the confederate flag in Central Florida had to say about their beloved confederate Flag. It was an event that was being held in support of a decision to return the Confederate flag to a display outside the Ocala government complex.

Participants talked of defending Southern traditions and southern heritage and said that their rally wasn’t about hatred and racism but rather about the rights of free people. Just like the Civil War wasn’t about slavery but rather about rights too… I suppose. And what rights would those be except the right for one to live free while buying, selling and owning people who could not live free? And what great heritage does the confederate flag represent except the heritage of slavery and oppression and human degradation and treason and secession and the Un-United States of America?

Imagine the world today if the south had been successful and had won their rights to live in their own separate country with that wonderful southern heritage and those lovely southern traditions left intact. How would the world have made out during World wars 1 and 2 without the might of the 50 United States to defend it? And Whose side would the south have been on during those momentous conflicts… do you suppose? How different might your world and mine… and theirs, be today had the south and “their rights” prevailed?

Perhaps southerners should think about that every time they think about displaying their most sacred symbol of antebellum disunity and dysfunction: The confederate flag. Because that’s what it was. It didn’t value humanity. Think about it. had they won It would have edified the demeaning and devaluation of all human life everywhere, especially in the south! Where was the benevolence, humaneness, compassion, fraternity, kindness, consideration, tolerance, charity and mercy in the confederate cause…except for themselves and no others? That’s a cause, history and heritage worth reverence and remembrance? Is there anyone in the world alive today who doesn’t thank God for the confederacy’s utter and complete defeat????? Seriously there are just these confederate ancestor wannabees…which should tell you all you really need to know about the confederacy.

They are without a doubt… THE ONLY ONES IN THE ENTIRE WORLD… who think that the confederate flag has value in a MODERN world.

All in all this sad and sorry demonstration to defend southern history spanned 8 miles with 4,500 supporters and an estimated 2,000 vehicles, mostly motorcycles and trucks adorned with Civil War-era flags…and of course guns! What good old southern get together wouldn’t include guns? Police say that even some shots were fired during an argument over the flag, but no one was injured, and overall the event was peaceful.

Now imagine that same motorcade of revelers all being comprised of people of color who were flying flags to symbolize their African heritage and their history of protest of the United States for their long denied rights…8 miles… of honking horns, beating fists in the air and shouting and the shooting of guns…and all while driving thousand of vehicles through white suburban neighborhoods.

That would have gone off quite peacefully, while the police stood by and waved them on…don’t you think? Because overall, if we have anything here in America, 150 years after the Civil War, it’s the end of racism…isn’t it?

J.R.Goldrich

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