President Trump, Ole Number 45, made his farewell address this morning. After 4 long years (feels like longer than 4) it is finally over (is it really?) The greatest (worst) President in the history of the United States (unfortunately history is not over) has said goodbye to his adoring (psyco-phantic) friends, family… and fans (cult). He listed his many (few) accomplishments (things he said he did) and then waved goodbye. And then, as he prepared to walk off (helicopter) into the sunset (sunrise) we inexplicably heard this…
Young man there’s no need to feel down. Pick yourself off the ground ’cause your in a new town. There’s no need to be unhappy. There’s a place you can go. When you’re short on your dough, you can stay there and I’m sure you will find many ways to have a good time. It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.! Why? Well because They have everything For young men to enjoy. You can hang out with all the boys. You can get yourself clean. You can have a good meal. You can do whatever you feel. Are you listening to me? What do you want to be? You can make real your dreams, but you’ve got to know this one thing. It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.!
Just remember: No man, does it all by himself. Put your pride on the shelf and just go there, to the Y.M.C.A. I’m sure they can help you today because I was once in your shoes. I was down and out with the blues. I felt, no man cared if I were alive. I felt the whole world was so jive!…
and that’s when someone came up to me and said young man take a walk up the street. There’s a place there called the Y.M.C.A. They can start you back on your way.It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.!
Who Knew?! After all of this time, tribulation and frustration, all President Trump really wanted to do was have a good time and go back to hanging out with all the boys! Because, After all is said and done…Who has everything for a young man to enjoy? The Mar-a-Lago Y.M.C.A. …of course!
So Good Luck President Trump! It’s time now to leave this jive world behind and go Hang out with all the boys and enjoy yourself. If you see Vice President Pence please tell him I said hello. (I don’t think he wants to hang out with all the boys though) And give my condolences to the First Lady. (not one of the boys)
And now we say Goodbye! Farewell! and may this nightmare of a presidential reality show finally be…
Somewhere out in the great beyond President Jefferson Davis and General Robert E. Lee are smiling. It may have taken 160 years but the U.S. Capitol, home of those Damned Dirty Yankees, has finally fallen! For yesterday, January 6th, 2021 another American date that will live in infamy (and infancy…as in tantrum) our Capitol building in Washington D.C. was attacked, captured and desecrated by the Confederacy… of Dunces.
It didn’t take very long, just a few pushes and shoves, broken windows, fireworks and Confederate flags flown high and the Republican mob was up Capitol Hill and over the Union’s defenses and into the Capital Building’s domed lobbies, sacred offices and grand legislative chambers.
The insurgents broke windows, started fires, trashed offices and occupied the building with little resistance from the Capitol Police who seemed flustered and confused over how to stop an angry, well armed white mob composed mostly of middle aged ladies in mom jeans and mostly bearded men flaunting their finest hillbilly chic sportswear and work boots.
Our Nation’s National Emblem, The Capitol Building, was in no way defended. There were no teargas canisters deployed, nor rubber bullets fired, nor any sign of heavily armored policemen to thwart the mob’s assault or stand in its way. Our country’s Vice President, and Congressmen and Women, who were inside the building fled in panic or cowered beneath their desks, taken completely by surprise even though they had been warned time and time again by our own President, most of his entourage and scores of elected Congressmen and women, that he would be avenged (most likely with violence) for his election loss.
In fact, only a few minutes before the attack, at a rally near the White House, President Trump and his son Donald Jr. along with trusted lawyer and friend, Rudy Giuliani, exhorted their adoring crowd of sycophantic psychos that it would take strength and not weakness to reclaim their country!
“We will never give up. We will never concede,” Trump told the attendees outside the White House, who cheered him on. “We will stop the steal!” (The election was stolen from him because more people voted against him than for him…and besides as any redneck ninny knows, the only real way to tell if an election held in the USA isn’t rigged is if the Republican candidate wins)
And so off they went, onwards to the Capitol Building of the United States of America! And in a most embarrassing and startling turn of events, captured it with ease…and the Confederacy of Trump was born! They broke and entered! Came, Saw… and Conquered!
The angry mob even Took photos and selfies with some smiling law enforcement? officers? And were even saluted by the Junior Senator from Missouri (seen below raising his fist in a show of white power) as they went about their business of pillaging, desecrating and mocking The Union that had once defeated them in war back in 1865.
All in all the insurrection seemed like Great, White, American fun! Yes, some were arrested (52) and some were killed (4) but when you figure it out as a percentage of the thousands who stormed the barricades (spoiler alert: there weren’t any barricades) it’s positively insignificant! (just like Covid-19) It was the most complete and swift victory ever accomplished by Confederate forces on American soil!
And when the President was appealed to and called upon to do something! anything! in defense of our Great Nation to help stop the rioting and to defend our Revered Constitution and intervene in this most violent insurrection… he took immediate action…and tweeted!!! (The tweet heard round the world?)
“You have to go home now…he said. We have to have peace.” and he added…”I know your pain. I know you’re hurt. We had an election that was stolen from us. It was a landslide election and everyone knows it. Especially the other side. But you have to go home now,” Trump said.
He also added, and I paraphrase here because most of those tweets and videos have been deleted from the internet, (evidence of treason?) that he knows what it’s like to be a poor Confederate who loses when he should win and who doesn’t get what he wants when he wants it and who is persecuted by those who won’t give him what he wants…
He went on…
(And now I quote again) “These are the things and events that happen (the attempted over throw of Democracy?) when a sacred (?) landslide election victory (huh?) is so unceremoniously and viciously stripped away (by counting the voters votes?) from great patriots (He is calling the Confederate insurrectionists great patriots!) who have been badly & unfairly treated for so long, (Since the Civil War?) So go home. We love you. (He loves those who stormed the Capitol?) You’re very special. (because they did it for him?)
“It’s a very tough period of time,” he added. “But we can’t play into the hands of these people. (Americans? The Union? Those Citizens who didn’t vote for him?)who he went on to characterize as “so so bad and so so evil”! (If you didn’t vote for him you are evil…it’s THAT simple?) 330 million citizens – 74 million Trump voters leaves @ 256 Evil Americans! That’s a lot of evil Americans! No wonder most Republicans find so much fault with America…and Americans.
Ah well…and so when it got dark they were asked to leave and they left: these Haters of Democracy…these Champions of evil… rooting out of!…these Overthrowers of elections…not winning!… These Crackers of… where’s my cream cheese!
And they suffered No consequences…No bullets in the back as they retreated…No kneels to the backs of their necks as they gasped desperately in defense of their innocence…No hours long interrogations or confession signings… nope, nada. It’s as though they all had Presidential PBA Cards! It’s so good to know someone important isn’t it? It’s just so good to be so white and so right in America… isn’t it?
But what happens now? President Trump still has 2 full weeks to wield his scepter of seemingly unlimited influence and control over his mutineer minions. He still maintains that he has been wronged, swindled and unfairly toppled from his rightful throne. … and his confederated zealots, fresh from victory agree. And both have sworn to never give up their fight to restore him to his most lofty latrine of power.
One commentator offered a suggestion as to why all of this was happening: “The president just doesn’t know how to accept losing” he said… But I say that our President just doesn’t know how to accept America… and never has…nor do his followers.
So what happens now? Will this republican mob make another coordinated attack before or during the inauguration of President-elect Biden? Will President Trump have already pardoned himself before they do so? Will the insurgents be carrying Presidential pardons in their pockets too… thus having been made an invulnerable, un-prosecutable, monster mob of President Trump’s self righteous Id?
Holy Psyche Batman!
Who will stand up to this disparagement of Democracy? Will only the crack of doom cancel this shit show? Maybe President Trump will leave office peacefully, only to retire to Florida to live in Ex-presidential exile where he will then take to the airwaves as a prognosticating naysayer of all things not to his liking?… His family squabbling on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram as a veritable Duck Dynasty of Doomsday Drivel and Despair?
Will we all be subjected to a daily soundtrack of American mockery…without reprieve nor end, from a self pardoned President and his brood awaiting their return to power?
Stay tuned America! Same Trump time! Same Trump channel!
Remember when President Trump said this about the Coronavirus way back in April of this year?
“I thought about it,” he said. “I said maybe we should ride it through. You know, Ride it like a cowboy.” Had that been done, President Trump said, health officials estimated 1.6 to 2.2 million people in the U.S. would die.
And now here we are 7 months later and a few days after Thanksgiving in America and what are we doing?
We’re riding the Coronavirus like a cowboy!
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Hawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Are we having fun yet? Over 260,000 dead American citizens to date. Over 13 million reported cases. 200 thousand new cases per day. Almost 2,000 dead Americans every day. And now 500,000 expected to be dead by March of 2021…right up there with a yearly death toll running neck and neck with those two other apocalyptic American horses; cancer and heart disease.
Somewhere along the line Our President and his team of experts lost interest, along with his supporters and what appears to be half of the rest of the country! It was those lousy ratings his press conferences were getting I guess…
And then of course there was the campaign, the golfing, the pep rally comedy tour, his own coronavirus brush with death, the campaign again, and finally over 80 million citizens voting him out of office in what he called a “landslide mandate from the American People”!
…That’s what he called it when it happened to Hillary Clinton in 2016!
But now he says that he won’t go because the election was too close and that people really love him except for those Americans who are cheats and voter frauds and election thieves and Godless lovers of Satan, …
…you know… the other 250 million Americans who apparently don’t appreciate a good horse when they see one. ..One they can ride like a cowboy!
But don’t panic America because according to the White House Science Department “ending the COVID-19 pandemic” is the top accomplishment of President Trump’s first and only term! It’s His TOP accomplishment!…
And in just a little less than 2 months President Trump and his White House staff and all of his men can ride that #@%#! accomplishment and the apocalyptic horse they came in on straight on outta town… just like a cowboy!
In January of 2017 President Trump made his famous? infamous? neither?…. Inauguration Address in which he emphasized that America was a mess…so much of a mess that what we had was an “American Carnage”. Carnage was an interesting and unusual word for him to choose since it literally means a great slaughter, but he of course was using it figuratively to refer to America’ social and economic desolation at that time…
Here are some other phrases from that speech:
We, the citizens of America, are now joined in a great national effort to rebuild our country and to restore its promise for all of our people.
This American carnage stops right here and stops right now.
America will start winning again, winning like never before.
The time for empty talk is over.
Now arrives the hour of action.
You will never be ignored again.
But that was 3 and a half years ago…before President Trump embarked on his great campaign to…Make America Great Again!
So what do you think America? After 3 and a half years of President Trump’s reconstruction effort…
How are we doing now?
Here’s what the President’s 2020 reelection campaign manager, Brad Parscale, thinks: “The President, along with the unyielding resolve of the American people, will Make America Great Again.”
And I’m not kidding. That is actually President Trump’s campaign slogan for his reelection bid this November. It appeared this weekend on TV. And it was exactly what I predicted the 2020 campaign slogan for President of the Untied States would be way back on January 10th of 2017 when I wrote this:
Soon President elect Donald Trump will assume the Presidency of the United States. I am one of the many Americans who views this as the beginning of at least 4 years of great trial and tribulation for the United States of America and the world at large.
Perhaps you are one of the other Americans who believes that this will be the dawn of a new wonderful American age, or perhaps you are one of those Americans who can’t wait to see what happens next as though this will be the beginning of the best television show you will ever hope to see.
In any event, I have no idea what is going to happen over the next 4 years but I am going to make a prediction about the future. Then we can all wait and see if I am correct or not. I predict that in 4 years (or sooner) The Democratic Party’s nominee for President of the United States 2020 slogan will be:
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!
And I was almost correct! I thought the Democratic nominee for President in 2020 might say that we have to make America great again as a sarcastic nod to President Trump’s own failure to do so…but instead…President Trump is running out that same and now old slogan to cheer his supporters on? Again? Really?
I know President Trump loves to watch (and be on) television, and he became famous? Infamous? Neither? …with his hit television show “The Apprentice” but now he is going to propose that his political show should go into re-runs? Seriously? Does he think he’ll be getting residuals?
Good Grief!
This coming fall get ready for season five of Make America Great Again! All of your favorites will be back doing what you love to see them do best…TRYING to make America great again… but in their own bumbling, frustrating, frantic, incompetent, mean, nasty and incredibly costly, ego driven way that only they can!…If you’ve liked him so far then President Trump and his cast of characters guarantee that there’ll be plenty more American Carnage next season then you’ve ever seen before.
And if you vote for that… then heaven help us all!
Doctors and nurses throughout the United States have been expressing an urgent need for more masks and personal protective gear in their ongoing struggle to fight and contain the Corona Virus outbreak here in the United States…but there have been shortages of these supplies and some hoarding by citizens who are not doctors or nurses.
When asked about how more face masks and other needed protective garments could be produced and sent to hospitals throughout the country President Trump responded by saying “We (the U.S. govt.) are not a delivery service.” He then suggested that each state’s governor should take charge of resupplying their own state.
Then when read a statement issued by the CDC about how doctors and nurses and other medical personnel should begin reusing whatever personal protective gear they have and even consider using bandannas as face-masks, the President replied: “I know nothing about that.” and then deferred to VP Mike Pence who even though he took the podium and spoke, knew nothing about that either.
It has been my observation (and perhaps yours?) while watching our Commander in Chief and his Vice President over the past few days that both seem to be a bit distracted or perhaps overwhelmed by what it is their jobs require them to do…as in care about an entire diverse country of people they are quite unfamiliar with.
I imagine the President dreaming of a golf course far, far away where he plays endlessly with friends and caddies of his own choosing none of whom ever get within three feet of his personal space…or his ball which he likes to move with reckless abandon. “Four! No, not fore. I mean as in not 5, like I got 4 on that hole.”
And I imagine the VP, as he stares lovingly into the back of the Presidents oddly coiffed head, wondering why he has yet to leave Earth in The Rapture that he is so sure should have taken place already…especially during these times of tribulation. “Am I raptured? What? Oh no, I have to speak? Damn! I mean Darn!…sorry no exclamation mark.”
Anyway, that’s what I think. Otherwise why would they look so lost and say such inane things?” Don’t they have advisers? Do they know that they come with the job? If they do have advisers do the advisers know that they are allowed to give advice? And do the experts that stand nearby while the POTUS and Vice POTUS speak understand that we at home can see their expert eyes performing gymnastics inside their eye sockets?
Who directs these podium talks? Does no one proof read anymore?…
It has been said that Nero fiddled while Rome burned and that Marie Antoinette once said that her hungry subjects should try eating cake when they get hungry. Maybe those infamous leaders weren’t cruel after all. Maybe they were just really, really bored?
After all, it’s hard to care about strangers…especially in bulk… isn’t it?
Here is what President Trump had to say about his proposed wall along our border with Mexico, for which 1.6 billion dollars has recently been allotted in our latest 1.3 trillion dollar budget.
“If you have a wall this thick and it’s solid concrete from ground to 32 feet high which is a high wall, much higher than people planned. “You go 32 feet up and you don’t know who’s over here. You’re here, you’ve got the wall and there’s some other people here.”
“If I’m standing here, I want to be able to see 200 yards out. “I want to be able to see, I don’t want to have a piece of concrete that I can’t see.” “And I’ll give you an example: As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them — they hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff? It’s over,” President Trump continued. “As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall. But we have some incredible designs.”
I know it’s a difficult read but still rather amazing that these words came from our President of the United States. I especially like the part where someone throws a 60 pound bag over a 32 foot high wall of unknown thickness. but I digress, because I have suddenly realized that our president could actually be onto something!
Think about it. If this wall works and can actually be built it would be a perfect prototype for America’s beaches in 50 years! That’s if you believe in science of course. But just imagine it. There you are safe on the beach, in the year 2068, catching some rays just like you used to, and behind a 32 foot see-through wall through which you can still see the beautiful and majestic ocean vistas…
…and perfectly protected from the rising seas, crashing waves, plastic debris, oil spills and an untold number of desperate immigrants fleeing from their own flooded countries.
I really think our president is on to something. I really do! Folks are always saying, “Don’t worry about global warming or climate change. Someday someone will figure out the answer and save us all!”
Remember when President Trump talked about his tax-reform plan, which he said would benefit the middle class at the expense of wealthy Americans like himself? And when he said: “They can call me all they want. It’s not going to help,” (he said of his rich friends). “And it’s not good for me, believe me.” (Did you believe him?)
Well President Trump is spending the Christmas holiday with his family in Florida this year (each trip there costs “we the people” 21 million tax dollars) and according to CBS News (all fake because they work for the Democrats and Hillary who actually rules the world) he told friends at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, just hours after he got there that: “You all just got a lot richer.”
Proponents of the bill celebrate it as relief for the middle class that also provides a tax cut based spending stimulus for large corporations… to the tune of 1.4 trillion dollars, which for all intents and purposes will be going to key donors and lobbyists, the richest members of Congress, President Trump, his family and other families like his. (but of course we don’t know for sure how much President Trump will get because our president won’t show us his taxes)
But we can all rejoice in the fact that our share should result in somewhere between 1,000 and 2,000 dollars next year of tax relief, depending on the size of our paycheck today of course. That should amount to anywhere between 19 and 38 dollars a paycheck (or 38 and 76 dollars if you are paid bi-monthly) That’s 30 gallons of gas each month! (nothing to sneeze at, right?)
At that rate your tax breaks could save you enough money to take you by car from Maine to Mar-a-Lago in 2.12 months (of saving your tax breaks)…but if you wanted to go there in style like the POTUS does (at least bi-monthly, and for 21 mill a vacay) then you’ll have to save your tax breaks for 127,000 months or about 10,500 years! (That’s if your getting the BIG middle class tax break)
In conclusion?: It’s good to be the King isn’t it? (and I suspect it always has been)
According to the most recent Nielsen data, NBC’s “Sunday Night Football” in the first two weeks of the regular season is down 7% in viewership compared to last year, while ESPN’s “Monday Night Football,” is down 5% and the averages of Sunday afternoon games on Fox and CBS are down 11% and 19% respectively.
And President Donald Trump thinks that he knows the reason why because he tweeted this: “NFL ratings are down massively, Now, the No. 1 reason happens to be that they like watching what’s happening…with yours truly.”
Wow! Our POTUS believes that people…up to 19% more, would rather watch him than football! But to be fair he also tweeted that NFL viewership is down because NFL players don’t hit each other hard enough anymore and that has made the games boring. Too much safety and not enough entertainment.
He also said that the players who protest by kneeling during the National Anthem have disrespected America to the point where no one wants to watch their games anymore and he tweeted: “Wouldn’t you love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, ‘Get that son of a bitch off the field right now, out, he’s fired!’ … They’ll be (the owner) the most popular person, for a week. They’ll be the most popular person in the country.” (our president puts a high premium on popularity)
President Trump however is also the president who said that Neo-Nazis and white supremacists who marched in Virginia had a permit and the right to free speech under the first amendment of our Constitution… And he did not call them sons of bitches either… But he did point out that those who protested against the Neo/WS and did so violently, were just as bad as any neo-nazis… but only the bad ones.
So why is an NFL protester who quietly takes a knee during our National Anthem a son of a bitch who should lose his job, while a white supremacist neo nazi who shouts “blood and soil” and “no more Jews” while carrying a torch and marching en masse, is protected by the First Amendment and his permit?
By our president’s own logic he is just as bad as an NFL player because he has violently spoken out in protest against NFL protesters!…and as a consequence should lose his job? Unless of course he is protected by the First Amendment too and or has/had a permit to tweet/speak? Plus, I don’t think he has a boss who could fire him anyway.
But seriously folks, doesn’t he have anything better to do? Like Presidenting? Is it really important who has better ratings? The President and All 32 NFL franchises are worth over 1 billion dollars. Someone must be watching. Is this a TV show or a sovereign nation we’re living in?
And finally…We do actually have a first Amendment in this country! Which says: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
That’s why we have protests and quarrels about religious differences and public grievances and news, both real and fake (unfortunately) It’s FREEDOM! And you may freely express yourself, WITHOUT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOUR JOB! or BEING CALLED A SON OF A BITCH! OR GETTING RUN OVER BY A CAR!
By-the- way…Being PEACEABLE, (inclined to avoid argument or violent conflict) is the operative word in that amendment.
So get over it America… and Mr. President…and PLAY BALL!… Peaceably… (except for the part about where the President wants NFL players to hit each other more often and more violently…but just for ratings, and entertainment, and not to be so boring…you understand?)… I swear you just can’t make this stuff up anymore!
Our American President is all a twitter! He has tweeted that he is the subject of a witch hunt for being investigated for firing a man that he was told to fire. “I am being investigated for firing the FBI Director by the man who told me to fire the FBI Director!” tweeted our biggest bird.
However it was the President himself who asked for the letter from the man recommending the firing of the other man by “THE” Man.
And then “THE” Man went on television to tell the reporter man that he was going to fire the man whether or not the other man recommended it or not. “I was going to fire Comey– my decision. There is no good time to do it, by the way,” Trump told NBC News’s Lester Holt. “I was going to fire him regardless of recommendation.”
So the man was getting fired by “THE” man anyway no matter what the other man said in a letter, or recommendation or not.
So “THE Man told the man to write a letter detailing why the man should be fired by “THE” Man even though “THE” Man was going to fire the man in the first place which has now prompted “THE” Man to tweet that the man wouldn’t have been fired by “THE” Man if the man hadn’t told “THE” man to fire the man in the second place even though “THE” Man had already made up his own mind to fire the man…and now we’re back to the first place!
The United States of America, as both a country and a T.V. show, has without a doubt “jumped the shark”!
Back in the early 1990’s the late Phil Hartman of Saturday Night Live fame would often play the character of the “Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer”. In his sketches featuring this character he would play a Neanderthal who, after being discovered in a glacier and then unfrozen, became a defense and personal injury lawyer and eventually a politician running for the Senate on the platform of eliminating the capital gains tax.
He was portrayed as a “selfish, well-dressed attorney who repeatedly would employ simple folk wisdom to win his cases.” He also enjoyed significant wealth, driving luxury cars and owning a home on Martha’s Vineyard. But whenever he made a mistake or committed a faux pas or said something crude or rude or out of line he would excuse himself and carry the day with his jury by uttering the line, ” But I’m just a caveman who is not familiar with the ways of the world.”
It struck me this week that our president is a lot like that, or at least that is how his fellow Republicans have decided to excuse his constant rude, crude and boorish behavior.
Whether our President lies or contradicts himself or shoves a fellow statesman out of the way, or insults this diplomat or that public servant, decries the American judicial system, mocks the handicapped, insults women, issues false accusations, tweets inarticulate and incoherent statements, exalts foreign dictators while demeaning friendly heads of state… and on and on and on… the fall back position for his indelicate conduct has become:
“He just doesn’t know how to be a politician. He’s a simple American learning on the job and trying to do the best he can for the American people.” (Like all you American simpleton’s out there?)
So don’t worry America. Our President… despite being a 70 year old billionaire who was able to build a real estate empire, run a presidential campaign and win the United States Presidency… is just a common man, unfamiliar with the ways of the modern world, justice and common human decency, who is going to learn how to be a better person and president while on the job.
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