Tag Archives: President trump

Forward Thinking?

24 Mar

Image result for rising oceans

Here is what President Trump had to say about his proposed wall along our border with Mexico, for which 1.6 billion dollars has recently been allotted in our latest 1.3 trillion dollar budget.

“If you have a wall this thick and it’s solid concrete from ground to 32 feet high which is a high wall, much higher than people planned. “You go 32 feet up and you don’t know who’s over here. You’re here, you’ve got the wall and there’s some other people here.”

“If I’m standing here, I want to be able to see 200 yards out. “I want to be able to see, I don’t want to have a piece of concrete that I can’t see.”  “And I’ll give you an example: As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them — they hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff? It’s over,” President Trump continued. “As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall. But we have some incredible designs.”

I know it’s a difficult read but still rather amazing that these words came from our President of the United States. I especially like the part where someone throws a 60 pound bag over a 32 foot high wall of unknown thickness. but I digress, because I have suddenly realized that our president could actually be onto something!

Think about it. If this wall works and can actually be built it would be a perfect prototype for America’s beaches in 50 years! That’s if you believe in science of course. But just imagine it. There you are safe on the beach, in the year 2068, catching some rays just like you used to, and behind a 32 foot see-through wall through which you can still see the beautiful and majestic ocean vistas…

…and perfectly protected from the rising seas, crashing waves, plastic debris, oil spills and an untold number of desperate immigrants fleeing from their own flooded countries.

I really think our president is on to something. I really do! Folks are always saying, “Don’t worry about global warming or climate change. Someday someone will figure out the answer and save us all!”

So maybe this is it?

 

It’s Good To Be the King!

24 Dec

Image result for President Trump signing tax bill

Remember when President Trump talked about his tax-reform plan, which he said would benefit the middle class at the expense of wealthy Americans like himself? And when he said: “They can call me all they want. It’s not going to help,” (he said of his rich friends). “And it’s not good for me, believe me.” (Did you believe him?)

Well President Trump is spending the Christmas holiday with his family in Florida this year (each trip there costs “we the people” 21 million tax dollars) and according to CBS News (all fake because they work for the Democrats and Hillary who actually rules the world) he told friends at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, just hours after he got there that: “You all just got a lot richer.”

Proponents of the bill celebrate it as relief for the middle class that also provides a tax cut based spending stimulus for large corporations… to the tune of 1.4 trillion dollars, which for all intents and purposes will be going to key donors and lobbyists, the richest members of Congress, President Trump, his family and other families like his. (but of course we don’t know for sure how much President Trump will get because our president won’t show us his taxes)

But we can all rejoice in the fact that our share should result in somewhere between 1,000 and 2,000 dollars next year of tax relief, depending on the size of our paycheck today of course. That should amount to anywhere between 19 and 38 dollars a paycheck (or 38 and 76 dollars if you are paid bi-monthly) That’s 30 gallons of gas each month! (nothing to sneeze at, right?)

At that rate your tax breaks could save you enough money to take you by car from Maine to Mar-a-Lago in 2.12 months (of saving your tax breaks)…but if you wanted to go there in style like the POTUS does (at least bi-monthly, and for 21 mill a vacay) then you’ll have to save your tax breaks for 127,000 months or about 10,500 years! (That’s if your getting the BIG middle class tax break)

In conclusion?: It’s good to be the King isn’t it? (and I suspect it always has been)

The NFL and SOBs

25 Sep

Image result for the first amendment protects the right to

According to the most recent Nielsen data, NBC’s “Sunday Night Football” in the first two weeks of the regular season is down 7% in viewership compared to last year, while ESPN’s “Monday Night Football,” is down 5% and the averages of Sunday afternoon games on Fox and CBS are down 11% and 19% respectively

And President Donald Trump thinks that he knows the reason why because he tweeted this: “NFL ratings are down massively, Now, the No. 1 reason happens to be that they like watching what’s happening…with yours truly.”

Wow! Our POTUS believes that people…up to 19% more, would rather watch him than football! But to be fair he also tweeted that NFL viewership is down because NFL players don’t hit each other hard enough anymore and that has made the games boring. Too much safety and not enough entertainment.

He also said that the players who protest by kneeling during the National Anthem have disrespected America to the point where no one wants to watch their games anymore and he tweeted: “Wouldn’t you love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, ‘Get that son of a bitch off the field right now, out, he’s fired!’ … They’ll be (the owner) the most popular person, for a week. They’ll be the most popular person in the country.” (our president puts a high premium on popularity)

President Trump however is also the president who said that Neo-Nazis and white supremacists who marched in Virginia had a permit and the right to free speech under the first amendment of our Constitution… And he did not call them sons of bitches either… But he did point out that those who protested against the Neo/WS and did so violently, were just as bad as any neo-nazis… but only the bad ones.

So why is an NFL protester who quietly takes a knee during our National Anthem a son of a bitch who should lose his job, while a white supremacist neo nazi who shouts “blood and soil” and “no more Jews” while carrying a torch and marching en masse, is protected by the First Amendment and his permit?

By our president’s own logic he is just as bad as an NFL player because he has violently spoken out in protest against NFL protesters!…and as a consequence should lose his job? Unless of course he is protected by the First Amendment too and or has/had a permit to tweet/speak? Plus, I don’t think he has a boss who could fire him anyway.

But seriously folks, doesn’t he have anything better to do? Like Presidenting? Is it really important who has better ratings? The President and All 32 NFL franchises are worth over 1 billion dollars. Someone must be watching. Is this a TV show or a sovereign nation we’re living in?

And finally…We do actually have a first Amendment in this country! Which says: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

That’s why we have protests and quarrels about religious differences and public grievances and news, both real and fake (unfortunately) It’s FREEDOM! And you may freely express yourself, WITHOUT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOUR JOB! or BEING CALLED A SON OF A BITCH! OR GETTING RUN OVER BY A CAR!

By-the- way…Being PEACEABLE,  (inclined to avoid argument or violent conflict) is the operative word in that amendment.

So get over it America… and Mr. President…and PLAY BALL!… Peaceably… (except for the part about where the President wants NFL players to hit each other more often and more violently…but just for ratings, and entertainment, and not to be so boring…you understand?)… I swear you just can’t make this stuff up anymore!

I’ve Gone Cross-eyed!

17 Jun

Image result for big bird

Tweet! Tweet!

Our American President is all a twitter! He has tweeted that he is the subject of a witch hunt for being investigated for firing a man that he was told to fire. “I am being investigated for firing the FBI Director by the man who told me to fire the FBI Director!” tweeted our biggest bird.

However it was the President himself who asked for the letter from the man recommending the firing of the other man by “THE” Man.

And then “THE” Man went on television to tell the reporter man that he was going to fire the man whether or not the other man recommended it or not. “I was going to fire Comey– my decision. There is no good time to do it, by the way,” Trump told NBC News’s Lester Holt. “I was going to fire him regardless of recommendation.”

So the man was getting fired by “THE” man anyway no matter what the other man said in a letter, or recommendation or not.

So “THE Man told the man to write a letter detailing why the man should be fired by “THE” Man even though “THE” Man was going to fire the man in the first place which has now prompted “THE” Man to tweet that the man wouldn’t have been fired by “THE” Man if the man hadn’t told “THE” man to fire the man in the second place even though “THE” Man had already made up his own mind to fire the man…and now we’re back to the first place!

And now I’ve gone cross-eyed! How about you?

 

He’s Just a Caveman

10 Jun

Image result for phil hartman caveman lawyer

The United States of America, as both a country and a T.V. show, has without a doubt “jumped the shark”!

Back in the early 1990’s the late Phil Hartman of Saturday Night Live fame would often play the character of the “Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer”. In his sketches featuring this character he would play a Neanderthal who, after being discovered in a glacier and then unfrozen, became a defense and personal injury lawyer and eventually a politician running for the Senate on the platform of eliminating the capital gains tax.

He was portrayed as a “selfish, well-dressed attorney who repeatedly would employ simple folk wisdom  to win his cases.” He also enjoyed significant wealth, driving luxury cars and owning a home on Martha’s Vineyard. But whenever he made a mistake or committed a faux pas or said something crude or rude or out of line he would excuse himself and carry the day with his jury by uttering the line, ” But I’m just a caveman who is not familiar with the ways of the world.”

It struck me this week that our president is a lot like that, or at least that is how his fellow Republicans have decided to excuse his constant rude, crude and boorish behavior.

Whether our President lies or contradicts himself or shoves a fellow statesman out of the way, or insults this diplomat or that public servant, decries the American judicial system, mocks the handicapped, insults women, issues false accusations, tweets inarticulate and incoherent statements, exalts foreign dictators while demeaning friendly heads of state… and on and on and on… the fall back position for his indelicate conduct has become:

“He just doesn’t know how to be a politician. He’s a simple American learning on the job and trying to do the best he can for the American people.” (Like all you American simpleton’s out there?)

So don’t worry America. Our President… despite being a 70 year old billionaire who was able to build a real estate empire, run a presidential campaign and win the United States Presidency… is just a common man, unfamiliar with the ways of the modern world, justice and common human decency, who is going to learn how to be a better person and president while on the job.

And I’m a monkey’s Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer!

Es…say…What???

22 Apr

Image result for get your money's worth

When President Trump was recently asked about his and the Republican party’s continuing effort to replace and repeal the Affordable Care Act this is what he had to say:

“The plan gets better and better and better, and it’s gotten really good, and a lot of people are liking it a lot.”

If this were the answer to an essay about the state of healthcare reform in America today that I had given to one of my Freshman English students it would have received a failing grade…not only because it is incomplete and lacks substance, to say the least, but also because it shows an utter contempt for the assignment, the reader and the English language.

Take out the simple and repeated modifiers and you have PLAN GET… PLAN GOTTEN… PEOPLE LIKING.

Pretty bad for a 15 year old. Not bad for a Neanderthal. And absolutely mind boggling, sad, depressing, embarrassing, ridiculous, insulting, inane, thoughtless, contemptible, and uneducated drivel coming from the President of the United States.

President Trump graduated from college with a Bachelor of Science degree in economics! That means he completed at least 16 years of public and private school education in the United States of America. Quite obviously somebody helped him… but in any case…

He did not get his money’s worth…nor did any American.

 

 

 

Are You an Anti-Intellectual?

21 Apr

Image result for anti-intellectualism

President Trump thinks that Korea was once part of China…you know, like France and Russia were once part of Germany. But do today’s Americans really care where a bunch of gooks originally came from?

I know that sounds insensitive of me and like I just used a racial slur but that’s OK now isn’t it? Now that we here in America no longer have to worry about being politically incorrect… which is apparently just another way of saying stupid.

Stupid is in. It’s cool now. It’s so anti-intellectual… and it’s taken the burden off of having to know things all the time. Now we can feel truly free again and not worry about having to always be right, knowledgeable or even educated about the subjects we are talking about… or the things that we are saying.

Like when President Trumps says that he has a task force steaming its way to the Korean Peninsula but it’s actually going in the other direction. Or like when our Attorney General refers to Hawaii as just some island in the middle of the pacific. Or how about when our Secretary of State says “Pon-Yang” like that’s really a place in North Korea? Isn’t that just so rad?

And remember when Press Secretary Spicer called Hitler’s concentration camps Holocaust centers? That was funny wasn’t it? Thank God the days of having to be PC about that war are over, n’est pas?

There are alternative facts now! Finally we can all stand up to the highly educated and tell them to take their knowledge and book learning and truths and stick then where those “Bowling Green Massacre” victims are buried…am I right?

In fact,  a recent survey of college campus presidents by Inside Higher Ed tells us that there is a growing gap between American college campuses and the American public...because about 70% of respondents agreed that anti-intellectual sentiment is growing in the United States.

Pretty cool huh? Especially now that we have an anti-intellectual president to help us lead the charge. No more worrying about what we don’t know, or what we just said or what we just did that might get us in trouble. And spelling??? Like that’s a thing!…From now on It’s full tweet ahead!

Like any insensitive monarch who could care less about what people think of us, we can now hold our heads up high when asked about what we meant about this insult or that, that off handed remark or this, or that bombing or the other and say…Mmmmmmm what was the question??? I just had such a delicious piece of chocolate cake, I can’t think straight!

Isn’t life in Post-Knowledgeable America grand? Let’s all eat some cake!

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