Tag Archives: parenting

Freedom to Ejaculate

18 Jul

Donald Trump’s presidential running mate, Governor Mike Pence of Indiana recently signed an anti abortion bill passed by the Indiana legislature. Mr Pence opposes all forms of abortion no matter the reason nor complication. He also hopes to help the Republican party De-fund Planned Parenthood if he and Donald trump are elected. I can only assume because all lives matter.

But have you ever noticed how men are never mentioned during the debate over abortion. A debate that continues even though the Supreme Court of the United States decided long ago that a living woman has more right to her body than an unborn fetus in the first trimester of pregnancy. And have you noticed  how in fact men are hardly ever in the conversation when it comes to the discussion of pregnancy and abortion rights in America… not even as a responsible party in the equation of life?

So vote for Trump/Pence because women are bad! And men must be allowed to freely ejaculate whenever, wherever and inside whomever they please…because men are good! Here’s to making America great again… one ejaculation at a time!

Happy Belated B-Earth Day

24 Apr

Happy Birthday once again to Mother Earth! Even though Earth Day is not Earth’s official birthday perhaps this would be a good time to celebrate it anyway. After all the earth is now 6,060 years old…give or take, and deserves a birthday celebration…don’t you think?

I only mention the Earth’s young age because according to Gallup surveys  30% of Americans say the Bible is the actual word of God and should be interpreted literally, including 54% of those who attend church weekly and 46% of those with a High School education or less. And 60% of all Americans believe that evolution has has little or nothing to do with the development of the human species.

So according to the Bible, and those who study it carefully, and literally, the Earth and all of it’s carefully designed creatures have been around for only a little over 6,000 years. So actually Earth Day would be the celebration or birthday of everything Earth related…including us.

But since the earth was set awash during the Great Flood of Noah’s time perhaps we should be celebrating the Re-Birth of Earth which literal Biblical scholars put at around 4,200 years ago. So happy Grand Re-Opening Mother earth!

And while we’re at it we should get ready to celebrate Mother’s day and the four mothers who gave birth to us all…Bible speaking, of course. Because after the Great Flood and the landing of Noah’s Ark there were only 4 mothers left alive on Earth. And they would be…

  • Emzara…The wife of Noah
  • Sedeqetelebab…The wife of Shem
  • Ne’elatama’uk…The wife of Ham
  • Adataneses…The wife of Japheth

Names you don’t often hear anymore and names never even mentioned in the bible! Imagine that: The 4 mothers of all Earthlings and not even a mention in the Bible? Go figure. We have since learned their names from other ancient texts, like the Book of Jubilees but isn’t it odd that Noah, Shem, Ham and Japheth get all of the credit for inseminating the women but the women get nary a mention for having carried and given  birth to all of our Earthly ancestors. That’s like saying you watched Gilligan’s Island because of Gilligan and the Skipper and not Mary Ann and Ginger.

And what a job that must have been, nurturing and caring for all of Earth’s forefathers… and fore-mothers. You’d think that with all of the Americans who faithfully believe in the bible and who faithfully disbelieve in evolution there would be more respect and recognition paid to the mothers…I guess they figure that if God didn’t bother to mention them in the Bible, then how important could they be?

Oh well, life is funny that way I guess.

Anyway,  Just thought I’d give another shout out to the planet Earth. Happy Birthday and many more! Because, No matter how old you are, you’re all we’ve got. I’m sure you’ll be letting us know in the future if you need anything. And I sure hope we’ll be listening!

Human is, as Human ___?

18 Feb

Here’s a heartwarming story…

Earlier this month, After 41 days of an armed occupation of a federal wildlife refuge in Oregon, all of the armed militants surrendered peacefully. And even though the armed occupiers were “heavily armed” and had multiple weapons that they at times threatened federal authorities and police officers with and had even pointed at them while shouting phrases like, “You’ll never take us alive” and “We’ll never surrender”, they were all captured peacefully.

No one was injured, and no shots were fired during the arrests in which officers of the law were heard to say, “nice and easy, hands behind your back.” I’m not sure if the words please were ever uttered by law enforcement officials but shouts of “hallelujah” echoed through the phone lines of those involved in the final roundup of the protesters.

Did I mention that the protesters were armed…with guns? And after their surrender they informed federal agents that the occupied area had been left booby-trapped…with explosives! And finally, after carefully (very) searching through the area, Investigators indeed found explosives, firearms and even human feces to add to the occupiers careless 41 day desecration of what was a 6,000 year old Native American archaeological site.

But the good news?

Not one of the heavily armed occupiers was:

shot in the back while running away, or shot in the front 15-20 times while holding what appeared to be weapons, or shot while surrendering, or shot while sitting in a wheelchair, or shot while being only 12 years old, or shot while holding a toy gun, or shot by a ricocheting bullet fired in fear of one’s safety, or shot to death while sitting in a car, or choked to death after surrendering, or found hanging in a jail cell after capture, or found dead in a van after the drive to jail.

So let’s all cheer “Hallelujah!” It can be done. Those who either are or are perceived to be, Threatening, belligerent, frightening, angry, heavily armed, militant criminals can be apprehended peacefully, even when law enforcement officers are in fear for their lives…even though I read no mention in any of the Oregon reports, of any law enforcement officers expressing fearfulness for their lives during the 41 day ordeal…although I’m sure, at some point, they must have.

01_06_oregon_standoff_fbi_01

Oregon Standoff 2016                                         Ferguson, MO. 2014

In conclusion: Humanity can and does work! Everyone should give it a try.

 

 

We’ve Come a Long Way…Maybe

27 Jan

A 17 year old senior at Edmonson County High School in Kentucky, got in trouble last week for wearing a dress that did not meet the stringent requirement of the Kentucky high school she attends. The dress, was considered to sit too high above her knees. According to the high school’s dress code, dresses worn by young ladies at the high school must not be more than 6 inches higher than the knee.

You’ll notice in the picture below that the student in question was also wearing black tights beneath her dress but still she had to prove that her dress was the appropriate length by kneeling before her principal (a man) so he could measure its distance from the floor and then by walking around with her arms in the air (again in front of her principal) to see if her dress rode up any higher than previously measured.

 

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She failed her test…but only after walking around with her arms in the air. Otherwise she would have passed. Somewhere between 30 to 40 girls were sent home by the principal that day for similar violations.

Boys, in case you were wondering, have a dress code too but usually only get sent home if their clothing is ripped or torn in some way, as in ripped jeans etc. There was no mention as to how long boys had to wear their skirts when they wear them. This is 21st century America we’re living in isn’t it? So you know that boys get to wear skirts and make-up too… Don’t they?

But I digress because look at what girls in Kentucky high schools get to wear when they are not in the classroom… Here is the Kentucky high school championship Cheer-leading team…sans leggings…and you certainly wouldn’t want to use a ruler to measure their skirts distance from their knees. And are those skirts?

Cheerleaders competed in the KHSAA state championships Saturday.

Here’s a typical Kentucky HS field hockey team? Don’t they make shorts for girls anymore?

Oh…here are the Kentucky shorts…part of the typical girl’s HS volleyball team in Kentucky. They don’t look that comfortable to me, especially for running around and jumping and bending over,  but I’m a guy so what do I know about fashion…

Because here’s what the Kentucky boys wear when they play basketball. Their shorts seem to fall about 5 inches below the knee! Go figure!

What is appropriate for young women to wear in public high schools these days and why can’t they choose to wear what they like and are most comfortable wearing, like the boys do? As long as it’s not ripped or torn? Have we come a long way in our attitudes about men and women here in the United States or haven’t we?

I leave that question for the women to answer because I’m pretty sure that we men have absolutely no clue…oh we have a code…but I’m pretty sure it’s not for everyone.

Debtor’s Prison

14 Jan

This just in! Total student loan debt in the US has reached 1. 3 TRILLION dollars…and that starts with T, which rhymes with P and that stands for Payments you’ll never finish Paying.

Because according to the Associated Press Americans who are between the ages of 35 to 50 still owe as much money on their student loan debt as new graduates do! Thanks to interest… and not the kind that the bank pays you but rather the kind that you pay to the bank when the bank loans you money from the pile of depositors money that they are not paying interest on to depositors… a college loan is the gift that you keep on paying for!

There is even a website that you can go to now to watch the U.S. student debt rise as it happens in real time… at a rate of $2,726.27 per second!

But Huzzah! The Federal government is stepping in with a plan to cap student borrowers monthly loan payments at 10% of their discretionary income. And since discretionary income is the money you have left after deducting taxes, other mandatory charges, and expenditure on necessary items. (loan payments are now even surpassing groceries as the biggest monthly expense for many households) Which begs the question: Are groceries necessary?

So in any event…you should be repaying that loan…forever! Or at least until you check into that nursing home, at which time the Nursing home and your Alma Mater will have to duke it out to see whose debt trumps whose. Or is that whom? Which rhymes with tomb…

College debt is becoming a veritable debtor’s prison, where you get to stay at home, but only if you can afford one, that is.

So parents, when your kids grow up and start to inquire about college you might want to trot out a new twist on an old phrase…”Ignorance is cheap. ‘Tis folly to be wise!”

 

 

 

 

Can You OD on Energy?

14 Sep

There’s a new drug on the market…and it’s as old as coffee. That’s because the new drug is caffeine!

It seems that there are a whole slew of new products on the market that promote energy and sustained physical and/or mental activity and they all feature caffeine as a key ingredient. But these new products are apparently leading Americans to an alarming public health development: a rash of thousands of overdoses and reports of addiction and withdrawal…and sometimes even deaths…related to caffeine!

In the United States, 85 percent of people are estimated to consume caffeine at least once a day. This number includes children under age 18 who mostly get their caffeine in sodas. Even preschoolers are ingesting it, with the likely culprit being chocolate milk but in recent years, hospitals have reported an uptick in cases of caffeine overdose in emergency rooms and nearly two-thirds were in children 18 and younger.

The most dangerous problems appear to come when people use the pure powdered caffeine that is now being sold. Just add it to any drink and you’ve got instant energy. The trouble is that the difference between a safe amount and a toxic dose of caffeine in its pure powdered form, is very small and a safe amount can be almost impossible to measure accurately.

But remember when you were a young rambunctious child and your parents tried to wear you out during the day so you and the rest of your family could get some sleep in the evening? The big question for me is, why are kids taking caffeine anyway? A cup of coffee or a can of soda is one thing but powdered caffeine??? What for?  And It’s gotten so bad that, would you believe, “caffeine withdrawal”, is now a bona fide mental health disorder!

So parents beware! It’s great for you and your children to feel energetic and to always be ready for that brand new day but as in all things American these days it seems that it is always possible to have too much of a good thing no matter the thing and no matter how good it already is…including energy!

Best to just stick to finding your energy in natural places and in natural forms and foods…and if you can’t find your get up and go…just get up and go take a nap.

Times are Tough, Even for Fairies!

28 Aug

According to a recent poll the average amount The Tooth Fairy leaves American children per tooth is $3.19…and that’s down 24 cents from last year! And that’s 2 years in a row now that the Tooth fairy has had to make cutbacks! Yow! You know that times are tough when even fairies are in a down market!

Which means that instead of collecting 74 bucks for their baby teeth, American kids born today can only expect 64 measly dollars between now and their adult teeth arriving. There goes the college fund!…If your planning on sending your kids to clown college that is.

Interestingly enough this poll is usually conducted by Delta Dental but recently Visa has also been conducting an annual survey to see how much money that fairy leaves under a child’s pillow for a lost baby tooth.

That can only mean one thing! Soon your children will be accepting plastic as a means of payment for those baby teeth! So get ready you cheapskate parents, um… I mean fairies. College is expensive you know. So at 20 primary teeth per baby, I figure about 8 thousand dollars a tooth oughta do it…

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