Tag Archives: pandemic

You Say Potato…and I Say Noble

30 Apr

WASHINGTON, DC - APRIL 19: U.S. President Donald Trump speaks at the daily coronavirus briefing at the White House on April 19, 2020 in Washington, DC. New York state will begin the nation's most aggressive COVID-19 antibody testing campaign this week even as some states begin to loosen restrictions amid pressure to restart the economy. (Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images)

President Trump had a Twitter fit this weekend…for a  change…(does all of his obsessive tweeting make him a twit?) and called for all of the “fake” reporters of the “fake news” to give up their “Noble” awards.

Said our President:

“When will all of the “reporters” who have received Noble Prizes for their work on Russia, Russia, Russia, only to have been proven totally wrong (and, in fact, it was the other side who committed the crimes) be turning back their cherished “Nobles” so that they can be given to the REAL REPORTERS & JOURNALISTS who got it right.”

And the leader of the free world? added:

“Lawsuits should be brought against all, including the Fake News Organizations, to rectify this terrible injustice. For all of the great lawyers out there, do we have any takers? When will the Noble Committee Act? Better be fast!”

The Noble committee? Of course we know he meant to tweet Nobel (even if he didn’t)… but he quickly deleted the tweet when he no doubt realized (was told) that he had misspelled Nobel. (Spelling? Is that even a thing for our President?) However he then tweeted that he was being sarcastic (does he know what that word means?) like when he suggested on live television that we use household cleaning products like bleach to disinfect our insides (and some of his minions did just that!) or try to shine a miniature but bright light onto our bodies…from the inside out! (I’m sure that someone tried this too)

Really? Does anyone (with half a brain) believe that he was being sarcastic either time? Did he look, sound or act as though he was being sarcastic?

It gives me no pleasure nor does it do me or anyone else any good to say…that our POTUS is a nut-bar. He says the most inane and insane things.

His above tweet suggested that a lawyer should come forward and sue reporters for reporting what every one of our nations intelligence organizations and intelligence committees reported to him to be the truth… about Russia interfering in our elections! 

He said it was the other side who committed that crime. The other side would be us!

He doesn’t know Noble from Nobel. And even if he does he believes that those in charge of the Nobel awards give awards to newspaper reporters…which they don’t… and even if they did… he believes that that distinguished and august body does not know what they are doing!?

He is not aware that bleach and other household cleaning products are poisonous.

He believes that with some testing doctors could figure out a way to light up the inside of our bodies in order to kill viruses.

He reads with his fingers. Which is OK if you’re not good at reading and you have to speak in public…but not if you are the President of…anything! And when President Trump does it you can tell that it is partly because he has never read or has absolutely no knowledge of what it is he is about to read. He doesn’t proof read. He doesn’t prepare. When he comes across something that is news to him (almost everything he reads) he pauses and then starts to riff on whatever startlingly bit of knowledge he has suddenly discovered…and that’s when Mr. Nut-bar appears.

He wears facial make-up everyday. Have you ever seen President Trump without his face on? Even when he golfs he has his makeup on. Who puts makeup on to go golfing?

Tammy Faye Bakker?…maybe? 

And yet despite all of his lying, bullying, lack of knowledge and an inability to show empathy or sympathy for anything or anyone his supporters still adore him…and not only adore him but make excuses for him and his poor behavior so that he doesn’t have to.

I believe that only 3 things could possibly cause his base of support to finally crumble and fall away.

1.  He appears in public in a military uniform.

2.  He appears in public without his makeup on.

3.  He cries in public…and his makeup runs.

Other than any of those three things happening he has as good a chance as ever to be re-elected in November. And that frightens me more than anything that has ever happened in America during my lifetime.

Just imagine… a resurgence of the Covid19 pandemic and the re-election of President Donald Trump occurring in the same month later this year…

 

 

HAWAA

24 Mar

3-ply toilet paper

I have a new slogan for the 2020 presidential campaign. And I offer it freely to anyone who wants to run with it or stitch it onto a hat and make a fortune! (just kidding. If you actually do that based upon reading this blog, I want a piece of the action!)

So, is anyone else out there having difficulty finding toilet paper? Where did it all go? And who has it? And what are they planning to do with it all now that they have it? I mean, of all things, is this what most worries Americans in a time of crisis? How will I wipe my ass as the world goes to shit?

Is it the first thing that you worry about during a disaster? Oh no! It’s a blizzard! An earthquake! A tsunami! The electrical grid has failed! There’s an oil embargo! The stock market, housing market, job market have all collapsed! It’s an invasion from outer space!

Quick where’s my ass? What if it has to poop?!

Is this what Americans really worry about?

Anyway, If you are running for public office this year feel free to use this slogan:

HAWAA! Help Americans Wipe Asses Again! 

And promise to ramp up toilet paper production all across America so that America will never become a 2nd world country again, like we are now… and teetering on the edge of 3rd worldness should we have to poop outdoors come the warmer weather… like they do in those “shithole” countries.

After all aren’t we building that wall to help prevent outdoor poopers from moving here? What if we Americans all start doing our business outdoors? Then the wall building is all for naught! So keep America strong I say! Build the factories! Ramp up the production! Roll out the toilet paper! We need to guarantee our American right to not only poop with paper but to poop with paper that is soft and plush and more than 2 ply!

Never again should Americans have to face a crisis, war, pandemic, toilet or Halloween without enough toilet paper for every red blooded American man, woman and child!

HAWAA! HAWAA! HAWAA! HAWAA! HAWAA!

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