We Don’t Know Jack!

Torturing is easy for Jack Bauer because he is always right and he always represents the forces of good as opposed to the forces of evil, even when he is on his own. And his conscience never bothers him because he always gets the information he is seeking from his tortured victim…and even when he has the wrong person! He’s just intuitive that way. You gotta love that Jack!

But in the real world torturing is a little more complicated. I, for instance, would be happy to tell you everything I know under the threat of torture. You wouldn’t have to hurt me because I know exactly where you are going and I don’t want to go there because, well, torturing hurts! A lot! Who doesn’t know that? The trouble is that you, the torturer, may not believe me! Especially if it is too easy so…you’ll just have to keep it up for a while won’t you? Just to make sure.

The trouble with torture, or even conversation for that matter, is how do I know that what you tell me on a tortured Monday is the truth when on a tortured Wednesday you tell me something different…and then on a torturing Friday, you change your story again?

It’s just like with witches isn’t it? You can tie them up and toss them in the lake and wait for them to float to the surface (because their bones are hollow…everyone knows that!) but then they just sink to the bottom like everyone else! So maybe, you think, they aren’t witches after all…but then again…maybe they’re just tricking you because witches can do witchcraft so anything is possible! So let’s give them a few minutes to see if they float to the surface…or hours, or days or whatever. Who knows if we were right or wrong but I say good riddance anyway because it wasn’t like we were going to have them over for cake and coffee…ever… because they were outcasts in the first place now weren’t they?

It’s like when an unarmed inner city guy gets shot by a police officer. The officers are just protecting themselves and doing their duty and besides they are all sworn to uphold the law and why in god’s name should we suspect that they ever had any intent to do wrong? Besides who were those inner city guys anyway? Neighbors? Friends? More likely they were lowlifes who had done some bad things before and It’s not like we were having them over for a barbecue next week or anything, right?

And so it is the same with torturing terrorists? They’re terrorists for goodness sake! At least we think they are. And they don’t even believe in God! At least not the correct one, right? And even if we may be wrong and we torture the wrong guy(s) how are we…or you…ever really gonna know for sure? Just like those witches. You can go ahead and swim to the bottom of the lake for all I care and see if they’re still down there or not… but as for me? Just like Jack, I’m satisfied and I say good riddance to bad rubbish! Besides, who are the good guys here and who are the evil doers? You and me, or those witches, lowlifes and terrorists?

And that’s the point now isn’t it?!

The GM Defense

It’s funny how people process their morality. It seems that the higher the monetary stakes the more likely it is that a person will find a reason to behave immorally. Especially if the person is far away from the other people that his decisions will be affecting and most definitely if those people are of another class/culture or race.

So money gained minus people hurt divided by class/culture and race, times distance from those affected equals the probability of altering one’s moral turpitude…or

$ – P/CCR x D = M                  

  …or something like that.

Anyway, it doesn’t take an Einstein to know that causing the deaths of 12 people because you don’t want to spend a whole lot of money redesigning and recalling your automobile is wrong…does it?…but then again I don’t work for or own or represent General Motors. I’m just one of the poor, affected, middle class saps who bought one of their cars.

So try this technique should you ever find yourself on the wrong side of a murder/homicide.

If you’re the one holding the smoking gun just fire as many bullets as you can at the floor or ceiling or wherever there aren’t any other humans for as long as you can until the police arrive to arrest you.

Then at your trial have your lawyer point out that you fired over 10,000 bullets and only hit and killed one person! Who would spend that kind of time and money on murder? It was obviously just a mistaken and costly accident.

Call it the General Motors defense!

And, oh yeah…you’re welcome.

 

 

 

 

Do the Right Thing

Do the Right Thing!

I know that we can all, on some level or another, claim that this can be a very confusing and indirect statement or command.

What is the “Right” thing to do?

And how am I supposed to know what the absolutely, positively correct and right things to do are?

Maybe my right…is your wrong and vice versa…

Right?

I mean, some people wrestle with themselves their whole lives agonizing over whether or not some of the things that they did in life were right.

Am I wrong?

So how are any of us supposed to really know what the right things are?

Well,

and here’s the easy part…

Because whether we admit to knowing what the right things are or not…

We all know what the wrong things are…

Now don’t we?

So what does that leave?

Correct.