Tag Archives: hurricanes

Déjà Blew All Over Again

6 Jun

Oh boy! Here it comes again! It’s the  first week of the official hurricane season and already we have the first named storm of the year, Tropical Storm Andrea…and the good news is?… according to the weather service the storm is likely to weaken and lose its tropical designation as it moves north…But the storm is expected to dump as much as 8 inches of rain on parts of Florida and Georgia…and who knows how much rain we’ll get here in the balmy state of New Jersey but it doesn’t bode well for those of us who are still feeling the pain like John Travolta at a drive in movie theater over a girl named Sandy.

And can we please put to rest any debate on whether there really is such a thing as Global Warming or Climate Change and that we humans most likely have something to do with it because in another unsettling release this week, a Colorado State University professor who is widely considered a national authority on tropical weather prediction has released his team’s first forecast for the 2013 Atlantic hurricane season – and…

The news isn’t good.

His forecast team is predicting 18 named storms during the hurricane season, nine of which are expected to become hurricanes and four of those major hurricanes, meaning they will reach category three status or higher and need we here on the east coast be reminded that Category three hurricanes pack winds of 111 m.p.h. or higher! So Thank goodness most of my trees have already blown down!

But wait! The news gets better!

Apparently early tests show that The tropical Atlantic has warmed over the past several months and in case you are a non believer in Science The CSU team does have data to back up their prediction… and here it is:

“Five hurricane seasons since 1900 exhibited oceanic and atmospheric characteristics most similar to those observed in February and March 2013: 1915, 1952, 1966, 1996 and 2004. Four out of the five years had above-average hurricane activity.” So…The team predicts that tropical cyclone activity in 2013 will be about 175 percent of the average season (2012 experienced tropical cyclone activity that was 131 percent of the average season!)…giving the east coast a 72 percent chance of being assaulted by another major hurricane.

So here are my proposed names for the rest of the 2013 hurricane season.

Beelzebub…Cuthulu…Damian…Earthsoaker…Fughetaboutit…Gargoyle…Hellsapoppin…Icantbelieveitshappeningagain…Jezebel…Krakatau: The Hurricane… Loki…MadMax…Nosferatu…OHMYGOD…PleaseNotAgain…Quexicotle… Rumplestilstkin…Satan…TitsandAsphalt…UgottaBeKiddinMe…VelosiRapture…WhattheF…

X#!*@!…Yikes…ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzwakeMeUpWhenIt’sOver!

Good luck to everyone and may the Force… miss you!

What’s In a Name?

3 Nov

My house was destroyed by a hurricane named Sandy! Sandy is a dog that says woof…not a Frankenstorm!  If we are going to watch our houses destroyed and our property blown away and our livelihoods threatened and our families scared witless on a yearly basis, now that global warming is upon us like it’s The Day After! (Did you happen to see the satellite picture of this last storm?) then we are going to have to give them better names!

They need to be names like Dr. Doom! Or Mr. Destructo! Or Megatron! Or Holy Crap! So then at least we can say things to each other like “I remember back in 2K12 when Dr. Doom wrecked my house.” Or, “It was way back in 38 when Megatron came up from the south and ate New York!” Or “Remember when Holy Crap left us with a shitstorm of trouble back in Ought6?”

Now those are names to be afraid of and to get people’s attention.

“Look out! It’s The World Eater! And it’s headed our way! Evacuate!”

Now that just might get folks to pack up and cross the bridges and seek safe haven someplace else.

I know this was a terrible tragedy and I’m really not trying to make light of a horrible disaster. I’m just trying to relieve some anxiety after 4 days of worry and fright in the face of Mother Nature. She really does deserve more respect than to be called Sandy or Irene or Andrew or Ivan.

We need to start giving nature her or his due and name these storms for exactly what they are and then get the hell out of the way!

GRACEFIFTEENTEN

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