Tag Archives: holidays

Good Grief and Praise the Lord.

13 Dec

 

 

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Tis the season of holidays and celebrations and New Years…and religion. Which means a visit from the local religious affiliates and their spokespersons. They all seem like very nice people but their visit, no matter how brief, always ends with the handing over of the pamphlet…and that’s where they always lose me.

This year’s pamphlet went something like this:

Why you can trust the Bible!

Answer: Because it’s never wrong! For example, some say that the Bible makes no sense when it explains that Cain met his wife? How could Cain meet his wife when Adam and Even had only 2 sons? Well, because the Bible actually says that Adam became father to sons and daughters so… Cain married his sister or niece!

Now I feel better!

Last years pamphlet said this:

It is true; most people are pretty good. However, contrary to popular opinion, not all good people go to heaven. In fact, you do not have to be a bad person to go to hell. Another interesting fact found in the Bible is that you are not really as good as you think you are.

And the year before?

What you MISS by being a Christian: HELL! (but see above)

Anyway, it’s that simple! So simple that you’d think that after 2,000 years and change, Jesus would have an overall approval rating greater than 31%, but he doesn’t, for only 31% of the world’s people consider themselves Christian.

Yep! Nothing says Holiday cheer and good will to all like a visit from your local Christian organization. That’s for sure! But don’t despair because this year’s pamphlet also explains that since the Bible is never wrong that means that the end times are near!

And I’m not just talking about New Year’s Eve… So according to my pamphlets, at least 69% of the world’s population is going straight to hell…and soon! The rest will beat their swords into plowshares and clean up…

It seems to me that most everyone on this planet always wants to feel exclusive and special about their beliefs. Somehow when something is available to everyone, and for nothing, it simply loses all of its value. Maybe that’s why we can’t get everyone on the same page when it comes to taking care of our planet. So Who, I wonder, do we think is taking care of Heaven…if there is such a place?

But why isn’t Heaven for everybody… and must only the like minded apply? I suppose that’s what makes Heaven so special, it’s exclusivity. Hell, on Earth anyone can get in! We are a greedy lot and it is hard to share the things we possess but you would think that after all of the pain, suffering and strife we go through together here on Earth we’d all just agree to share in an afterlife of peace and rest.

God knows, What would be so wrong with that?

Lesser Children of God?

10 Apr

The holiday of Passover has always been one that has intrigued me because it seemed to me to be the celebration of, or perhaps the commemoration of, a truly horrible event. That being the slaying of all of the Egyptian first-born children as punishment by God for Egypt’s transgressions against the Israelites… I.E. hundreds of years of slavery

Anyway, as the story goes, the Angel of Death makes his visit at the behest of God and punishes the Egyptians by slaying all of the Egyptian first born children, while passing over all of the Israelite first-borns because their families had placed a mark above their doors (as directed by God) to let the Angel of Death know that they were not to be harmed. Otherwise, apparently, the Angel of Death could not tell the difference…I guess?

So this was a momentous occasion for The Israelites who have celebrated this event and their subsequent removal from hundreds of years of slavery, for thousands of years since…but not so for the Egyptians, who not only do not commemorate this historical happening but also have never even mentioned it in their histories.

But it always gets me to thinking… Thank God the African Americans did not strike this same deal with their god! Who, as luck would have it is the exact same god as the god in the Passover story….you know…God! The Africans were enslaved for hundreds of years too, right here in America and helped build the great USA, and mostly against their will, if not entirely! And was the first-born of every American singled out for slaughter as retribution for their horrible treatment? Thank God, no. Nor did our president have to send our soldiers chasing them halfway across the parted Atlantic Ocean only to watch the entire army drowned before his very eyes…along with himself! Can you imagine how sorry everyone would have been if that had happened? (Africans excluded of course) And how well we’d be treating Africans now?

Instead there are people even today who would say to the African slaves’ ancestors, “Hey, get over it already. That was a long time ago. And besides look how well we treat you now!”

I know, I know, a new covenant was in place by the 15th century and God did not do that mass smiting of people anymore and America did have to fight the Civil War which was a horrible and tragic event that cost hundreds of thousands of lives..but still…not all of those casualties were in the slaving business, so what was the point? And it’s not like we ever did or had to really let the African slaves go anywhere nor even really say that we were sorry, nor have to feel the actual wrath of God, nor answer to him like the Egyptians had to…so to speak.

I don’t know. Maybe it just wasn’t such a big deal 300 hundred years ago, like it was back in the day, 3,000 years ago? After all people have been around on Earth for over 6,000 years so maybe how we miss-treat people now-a-days just doesn’t get our blood, nor God’s, boiling like it used to. Or maybe we’ve just learned how to forgive ourselves for the bad things that we do. Or perhaps Jesus just runs things differently than his Dad did, or…maybe, just maybe, (and at the risk of blaspheming here) we weren’t all created in God’s image…you know, the way he sees himself… in the mirror…

And like I said, it’s just that those Bible stories and religious holidays always get me to thinking…but what do I know?

Killing Christmas?

30 Nov

Is there a war on Christmas? That’s what I’ve heard but it appears to me that Christmas is doing just fine. Plus I’m pretty sure that we needn’t worry too much because Christmas can hold its own against anybody. Just ask Thanksgiving! It was swallowed up this year by the shopping frenzy we call the Christmas season.

This year Black Friday, which is the day after Thanksgiving and also the traditional starting point for the holiday season and also coincidentally enough, always held on a Friday… began on a Thursday! And that Thursday was Thanksgiving! What other holiday can swallow up another holiday while empowering one of the week’s days into swallowing its own eve? Now that’s what I call a Black Friday! And that’s what I call Christmas being Christmas.

Besides what other holiday has its own season? Really? I think Christmas is doing just fine and can hardly be affected by mere mortals who might dare to say “Happy Holidays!” or “Look at my Holiday tree!” And any school kid knows that Christmas vacation by any other name would still be 10 days off! And Christmas is the only day with the power to fall on a Wednesday and extend your holiday fun to 2 full weeks! Christmas rocks and always will!

And Christians in general need to just calm down and be happy that Christmas is the one Christian holiday that actually gets atheists to shut up about atheism for a few weeks and join the flock like lost sheep in need of shearing.

Yes, yes, yes, Christmas celebrates the birth of Christ but not even Jesus was a Christian. He was Jewish and never mentioned anything about starting up a new religion that worshiped him, of all people. I suspect he would be turning over in his grave at the thought…if he were still in it.

In fact I’m pretty sure that someone, who lived his life as a devout and rather orthodox Jewish man, if and when he did return to Earth to find us all decking the halls, burning the yule log and kissing Santa Claus, that jolly old fat German elf, as part of the worship of a holiday in his name, most likely wouldn’t even join in on the festivities over his own dead body.

Oh, wait…

Anyway, I like Christmas and always have and unless the Mayans are right and the world ends on December 21st, then Christmas shall have won another victory!

So Go Christmas Go! Happy Holidays and to all a good fright, because look out Halloween, we’re swallowing you up next!

A war on Christmas? Yeah, right. And the Easter bunny lays eggs!

GRACEFIFTEENTEN

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