Tag Archives: football

It’s All About the Spread

22 Jan

The National Football League is the most profitable “non-profit” organization in the world. And its product, football, is beloved by millions of adoring fans and Its football games are watched by millions of people… but most importantly and what makes it the premiere sports league in the history of the world is that its games are wagered on by millions and millions more.

Over 100 million dollars, that we know of, was wagered on the Super Bowl alone last year. And people will bet on everything possibly involved with the game from the exact length of the Star Spangled Banner as sung by the guest singer during the opening ceremonies, to the final score of the game, to the heads or tails of the coin flip, to the over/under of the final number of points tallied in the final combined score of the two teams. You name it and it can be bet on.

But one thing you don’t want to bet on is whether the NFL is going to kill their golden goose. And that is why the mystery of the New England Patriot’s championship footballs with the illegally missing air… shall remain a mystery. For to accuse, substantiate and penalize, as in suspend, someone before the biggest game of the NFL year would be to plunge the point spread of said game into the unknown and send the sports bookies running for the hills.

Imagine the New England Patriots without their immortal quarterback in the huddle for the big game or sans the winningest coach in NFL playoff history on their sidelines because of suspensions for cheating? Who wouldn’t bet on the Seattle Seahawks to win? And what if the team found out to be cheaters, then actually went on to win the game? Cheaters can’t win! I want my money back! Las Vegas itself would explode and disappear beneath the desert sands of the Mojave!

So where did the air in those footballs disappear to? Thin air? Hmmmmmm there’s a thought. If thin air does in fact exist then perhaps it was thin air that was in those footballs in the first place? Certainly Tom Brady, doesn’t know. He handles footballs for a living and even though he has said that he prefers to play with an under-inflated football he really can’t tell the difference between one with too much air or too little air when he holds it in his hands during a football game. At least that’s what he had to say in today’s official press conference.

How about head coach Bill Belichick? Does he know? He’s been around footballs all his life and today he revealed in his press conference, that he only just found out on Monday that footballs had air inside them! So he doesn’t know where it went either?

And the NFL Commissioner? He’s still looking for the missing air and who took it, and this investigation could probably take quite a while because looking for missing air and who took it is like looking for…uh…air… in a haystack I guess. Anyway, I can save everyone a lot of time and tell you right now who took the air.

It was a quiet, unassuming and soon to be discovered ball boy who loves Tom Brady, New England and Patriots everywhere and he was just trying to help out his boyhood hero by trying to make his balls feel good…uh…ummm…so he took the air. And…uh… absolutely no one told him to do that. And…uh…he is so sorry and…uh…it will never happen again because he is the one and only one who will be suspended and never heard from again.

How much you wanna bet I’m right? I’ll lay you 10-1 on the over/under of the NFL’s psi gauge.

Here’s What’s Wrong with College

16 Jan

Here’s  what’s wrong with college…

Pro football coach Jim Harbaugh, was paid 5 million dollars to be the head coach of the San Francisco 49ers until he was fired at the end of this season. He worked for a billion dollar ball club, part of a mufti-billiondollar non-profit network of 32 football teams in America. He, His coaches and players performed in giant stadiums before millions of adoring fans, who paid top dollar to see them play, and they all earned hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars each year because after all this is pro football in the United States in the year 2015. And that is what the market will bear in a democratically free country operating within a capitalist economy.

Now Jim Harbaugh works as the head coach for the University of Michigan football team. He is once again going to be paid 5 million dollars per year to do his work alongside coaches who will also be very well compensated. They will do their coaching in giant stadiums and in front of millions of adoring fans. Their university is part of an incredibly large organization that is worth billions of dollars and they all will profit from money that comes from licensing fees, ticket sales, network television contracts, merchandising, video game sales and monies directly related to the players personalities and likenesses…just like in the pros where he used to work.

Except, unlike the professional SF football players, none of the University of Michigan players will be paid anything! And when Mr. Harbaugh and his coaches look up into the stands at their adoring new fan base, each and every one of the students sitting up in those stands will owe on average 29,000 dollars in student loans to the University of Michigan, (besides having paid for their tickets) part of over 1 trillion dollars owed in total U.S. student loan college debt.

College football is almost exactly the same product with almost exactly the same access to profit that professional football enjoys So who gets the money that would otherwise make EVERYONE in the professional football arena rich? (including the fans who have to be pretty well off to afford the ticket prices) And why does college tuition keep getting more and more expensive every year for college students… at a rate 4 times that of inflation?!

Anyone? …(No offense to coach Harbaugh. I know he’s just doing his job)

Friday Night Yikes!

16 Feb

Recently a television clip of Friday Night Tykes caught my interest and I watched an episode.

If you want to gain an understanding as to how difficult it is to teach in today’s public schools then watch an episode yourself.

Once upon a time sports were extracurricular to schooling. Now in many places across our country, sports and especially football, have taken on a more central, if not the most important, function of what many parents and students and citizens think children’s lives and the public schools are all about…

Sports should be fun and entertaining and a great way for the young and old to exercise and build friendships and one’s physical nature and ability…but if participation in sports means that your child is getting a regular and heavy dose of emotional abuse, intense instruction on how to be a better bully, topped off with a weekly concussion to his brain, then parent beware!

If you enroll and involve your child in the kind of sports program that this series endorses then when it comes to your child’s future, You are helping to undo everything that our public school’s could ever hope to achieve.


11 Feb

College football star, Michael Sam, recently announced that he is gay and because he is almost certain to be drafted, he could soon be the first openly gay active player in the National Football League. So naturally this is a matter of major concern to big strapping male jocks all across America. Why?… Mostly because men are idiots (just ask women)

But more importantly my question is…why must male athletes always shower together? In one big giant shower room? Who else does that? Prisoners? And who invented the communal shower room? Caligula?

I mean really! If guys are so worried about other men’s sexual orientation…

Then stop showering with other men! And/or stop making them shower with each other…and you!

The photo above is from the Dallas Cowboy’s state of the art multi-zillion dollar football stadium. You’d think that they could afford separate shower stalls… with doors even…for their multimillionaire employees. After all the Cowboys do earn over 1 billion dollars a year as an NFL football franchise! Do they have a portable black and white TV with rabbit ears hanging over the stadium? No! They have 2 state of the art 13,000 square foot high definition video monitors…so what’s with the shower room that looks exactly like the one I was herded into like a terrified wildebeest when I was in high school?

And  why communal showers anyway? Do you shower with your co-workers after a hard days work together? If you’d like to, then go ahead and suggest it, and see if you have a job tomorrow.

What other career do you know of that requires everyone changing and showering together as part of its job description?

I remember being in the 7th grade and suddenly learning that one of the prerequisites to being a high school athlete was showering with other naked guys. This was apparently supposed to be some kind of tribal rite of passage…although no one told me what tribe we were suppose to be in.

Judging by the highly sophisticated and intellectual coaches we had… I’d say it was the Homo-Genius tribe!

Haven’t Sports evolved?…So when will men?


Earrings and Killer Robots

23 Oct

I was switching back and forth between the debates and the Monday Night Football Game…what can I say, I’m an American…and while I’m watching the game (the one with the football) One of the players takes off his helmet and I notice that he is wearing 2 giant sized diamond earrings! (How could I miss them?) Really? Earrings in football? There’s no earrings in football!

That got me thinking about the pregame in the locker room…

“Hey Bro, how do I look in these earrings? Do they match what I’m wearing?”

“Yeah you look great sweetie, now let’s go kick some ass!”

Then I switch over to the debate (the one with the presidential candidates) and finally the two rivals are in agreement on something. Is it peace on earth and good will to men? No! The one thing they’re both in favor of is more unmanned drones!

I know you’re all gonna say that I’m just getting too old, and I know it’s no use in longing to go back to a kinder and gentler time (The stone age!) or anywhere again for that matter, but I really do miss the days when a coach could say to a professional ball player (And politely I might add) “Hey big fella, Might I suggest that we leave the jewelry in the locker room until after the game? You know it’s just a thought on safety…not to mention, oh… fashion sense!

And I long for a time when two men who were vying for leadership of the free world might agree on “Strength and readiness and more protection for our citizens and oh… saying something like …might for right! …  but never …            We need more killer robots!”

Killer robots and fashionable ear wear for football players. Really?!

If I were younger would these be good things?

Art Imitating Life?

25 Sep

                                                      Just Some Gambling Advice

Did anyone feel like they were watching Leslie Neilsen as  Frank Drebin in a scene from The Naked Gun last night when the NFL referee walked onto the field at the end of the game to announce whether the infamous (and wrong) Touchdown call was going to be upheld in front of thousands of screaming Seattle fans? Did he have any other choice? He even had that sheepish look on his face that said, “I’m sorry that we’re getting it wrong but you hometown fans are really going to love me for this!”

If the NFL Bigwigs decide to keep these amateur officials on the field in the weeks ahead I think we should all start betting heavily on the home teams!

Kill the Umpire?!

25 Sep

                                                                NFL Imitating Life?

As I sat and watched possibly the worst NFL game in the history of the world I couldn’t help but wonder if this is what life has become and why we just can’t seem to get along and fix anything anymore. Have we all gone crazy? First I thought that the NFL referees were on strike but my son set me straight last week and informed me that they were being locked out of their jobs by the NFL owners. The referees have a contract and it is valid for this year!

Who cries foul louder than an NFL owner when one of their players refuses to honor their contract and demands a renegotiation before, during or after their contract has legally expired? A contract is a contract they say and must be honored by all honorable men. Negotiations can take place when a contract is fulfilled! And yet here are the owners refusing to honor a valid contract by locking out the referees.

And all of the fuss is over about 40 million dollars worth of additional compensation that the two parties are disagreeing over. That sounds like quite a lot to you and me but when you consider that each NFL franchise is worth an average of 1.04 billion dollars then the extra amount that they would have to pay to the officials when compared to their total annual revenue is about 0.2 percent! Not 2 percent but point 2 percent. That’s 2 tenths of one percent!

Do you think that anyone in the NFL (owners, coaches, players, trainers, anyone???) will have to downsize their lives should the referees receive the extra compensation they are asking for in a new contract? I’ll bet most of you who are reading this know all about downsizing one’s life in this difficult economy. We NFL lovers have even had to downsize our expectations when it comes to watching the games! But will the owners suffer? Do they ever? So what’s it all about? And why is there no one with any power or outrage or sense to do anything about it?

It’s just a game I know but All the fans would have to do is skip one game to make their feelings known and solve the problem but of course they’ve not only invested in a seat license for every game already but have also already been sold all of their tickets (clever owners). How about the NFL players association? They have one of the richest unions in the world. Why aren’t they supporting their union brethren and refusing to take the field? That would solve this problem in a heartbeat. Or how about the networks who have invested 27 billion dollars for the TV rights to the games. They could black the games out for one Sunday (probably for just 1 minute!) and demand that the owners put the complete product that was paid for on the field. At the very least I would think that the gamblers and bookies and odds makers of this country would be tearing off their own arms in solidarity, demanding an end to this fiasco so they could place a proper bet for crying out loud.

But no! And perhaps the most puzzling phenomenon of all is that here in a free country none of the players or coaches or networks or gamblers or anyone even seems to want to talk about the lock out or its unfairness publicly for fear of what? Is the money that everyone has invested in the NFL that important? So important that reason and sanity have to be shoved aside for fear of losing one lousy buck or .2 percent of our bucks? And Is what we are seeing in the NFL, in this silly game that was once a simple recreational college pastime, a mirror image of what life has become in the richest country in the world? Paralysis by wealth? Too much much? Too much desire for a silly thing that we like to do to care about why something else is happening?

Is that why we can’t seem to do anything sensible around here any more? We just love our money and our things and our petty entertainments too much to put them aside for a few minutes and restore some sanity? How can we not have proper healthcare and food distribution and housing and education and human services for everyone in our country when we spend hundreds of billions of dollars on football?… And not even football is happy!!!!!


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