Are You a Citizen? Really?

As directed by the Constitution, a presidential candidate must be a natural born citizen of the United States, a resident for 14 years, and 35 years of age or older.

If you meet those requirements then you too can run for President or Vice President of the U.S.A.

To be a natural born citizen of the United States all you have to do is be born in the U.S.A.

Can you name the first President to qualify under those Constitutional conditions?

That would be President #8: Martin Van Buren! Does that make the first 7 frauds?

However On Thursday past, after Kamala Harris was selected by Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden to serve as his running mate, President Donald Trump once again gave credence to and elevated a new Republican conspiracy theory while speaking to reporters from the White House podium.

The new claim is that Ms. Harris is ineligible to serve as vice president or president because her mother is from India and her father is from Jamaica. Trump said he “heard” the California senator doesn’t meet the requirements, adding, “I have no idea if that’s right.”

Wow! The President of the United States has no idea what the requirements for being POTUS are? (I think that should be a requirement!)

Kamala Harris was born in Oakland, California on October 20th, 1964. And there is no dispute about that. That makes her a 55 year old natural born citizen and resident of the United States for the past 55 years and 9+ months…check…check…and check.

Doesn’t our president know that it matters not where her parents were born?

After all The President’s son’s mother was born in Slovenia and didn’t become a U.S. citizen until 2006, the same year in which she gave birth to their son Barron. He was born in March of 2006 and she became a citizen during that same year…although for some reason the exact date of her citizenship ceremony cannot be found on google.

Does that even matter? Do you care? But shouldn’t it at least be a date to celebrate and not hide? Maybe it’s just temporarily lost? Anyway, I digress.

Because when President Trump was asked directly about the social media posts claiming Ms. Harris is not eligible to run for VP he replied: “I heard it today that she doesn’t meet the requirements. And, by the way, the lawyer that wrote that piece is a very qualified, very talented lawyer.”

But which constitutional requirement does that “very talented” and “very qualified” lawyer say that she, Ms. Harris,  doesn’t meet?

So if she is not eligible, even though born in the U.S.A., simply because her parents were immigrants, then that  would of course mean that our president does not even believe that his own son is eligible to run for President or Vice President of the U.S. someday either… since he too has an immigrant mother!

Did you have anyone in your family who was born of immigrant parents? Like you or your parents or grand parents? Then if they were not natural born citizens they were giving birth to other non citizens and so on and so forth… that would lead to you and me and all of us eventually being non citizens too!

Gee, it’s getting so that being born in the U.S.A. doesn’t mean anything these days!

 

 

If You Test It You Will Get It!

This just in from the President of the United States. If you test for the Corona Virus you will find more people who have it. And that is why we have so many Corona Virus cases here in the United States. We simply test too much.

So Consequently, if you don’t test for the Corona Virus then you cannot get it!

I have Covid-19.

I test to see if I have Covid-19.

I find out that I am positive for the Covid-19 virus.

……………………………………………………………………………………

I have Covid-19.

I don’t test to see if I have Covid-19.

I don’t have Covid-19!

…………………………………………………………………………………..

It’s that simple!

So Americans everywhere: Protect yourself and your loved ones! DO NOT test to see if you have the Covid-19 virus. To do so could be deadly and harmful to the President’s re-election…maybe to you too, but you are probably insignificant… and which is more important?

But should you find that you have the virus anyway, and then find yourself in a hospital emergency room with shortness of breath and horrible pain, quarantined and alone? Leave a signed note with the hospital administration explaining that should you pass away you do not want to be tested for death.

In this way, you shall live forever!

 

Let’s Summer in Europe!

Nope! Sorry…we can’t.

The European Union is excluding us from their list of 15 safe countries whose citizens will be allowed to travel there.

I guess we’ve just become too darned great and full of ourselves for being like, well… better than everybody else. Just look at that graph up there. We’re off the charts! When it comes to Coronavirus cases that is… as in… we’re doing so well we’re contagious!

New confirmed daily cases in the EU peaked around mid-March and are now on a clear downward trend, with cases below 10,000 for more than a month. In the US however, new cases are on a steep upward trajectory and have now topped over 40,000 per day!

That’s good isn’t it? Aren’t we winning? Data for the US shows that new cases in at least 36 states are trending upwards compared to the previous week. State and local leaders have said the rise in cases is in part driven by gatherings at homes and in meeting places such as bars.

Of course we Americans are gathering! We’re celebrating because we are free and great! And it’s about time…Now where’s my drink? I’m feeling a bit thirsty and warm.

Did you know that The U.S. has recorded  more Covid-19  cases and deaths than anywhere in the world? (What’s a Covid anyway? And what in the world is the 19 for?!) At almost 2.6 million cases and more than 126,000 deaths, according to figures from Johns Hopkins University, that puts us in the big leagues with teams like Brazil, Russia and India!: The three nations with the highest numbers of cases after…US!

Whoo-Hoo! How great can we get? We’re in the top division!

Apparently The EU’s decision is based on whether a country has a similar or better epidemiological situation than Europe, as well as comparable hygiene and containment measures…sounds like a lot of crap doesn’t it? I bet they’re just jealous.

But!…The EU has recommended that member states offer entry to China, where the virus originated for crise sakes!…on the condition of reciprocal arrangements. What the ???  That sounds like a bribe or payoff doesn’t it?… Figures!

The other 14 countries that are allowed to visit Europe this summer are: Algeria, Australia, Canada, Georgia, Japan, Montenegro, Morocco, New Zealand, Rwanda, Serbia, South Korea, Thailand, Tunisia, Uruguay. What a bunch of lightweights. Do any of them even play football? You know, the real kind!

Oh well. We’ll just have to stay home this summer wrapped in our warm, humble hubris and gloat. It’s good to be great and free and unencumbered by the suffering of others who are poor, and old and or without the proper health coverage that they should have bought for themselves from… wherever…just don’t get me started.

It’s good to be great…again! Now let’s party!

All hail our fearless, wondrous and most beloved leader!

And take that mask off when you do…you wimp!

I have a feeling I’m not in Jersey Anymore

This is what came down our street earlier this week! And it announced its arrival with the sound of a freight train, which was quite frightening because we don’t live near any train tracks. And it swept through our neighborhood like the monster from the Id did when it came for Dr. Morbius in Forbidden Planet, with trees tossed to and fro and houses be damned.

But do I live in Kansas or Oklahoma or somewhere else in the Midwest? Nope. I live in New Jersey… and near the beach!

Whatever happened to storms? You know, the kind the dictionary describes like this: a disturbance of the atmosphere marked by wind and usually by rain, snow, hail, sleet, or thunder and lightning… but NOT ALL AT ONCE!

Good grief! What’s happened to New Jersey?! That quiet little corner of the world east of the Delaware River tucked in between 2 other states big cities. Home of parkways and turnpikes and interstates peppered with rest stops serving pork roll and cheese sandwiches? Where a gas station or big lot store or Pizza Town can be found on most street corners? You know, The Garden State! Where did it go?

Because now it’s become a terrifying cornucopia of weather phenomena and disaster! What ever happened to the old New Jersey we New Jersians had come to know and love? The New Jersey where nothing exciting ever happened? The New Jersey that people from the north, south and western states only came to so they could drive to New Jersey’s eastern edge… and jump off!…into the ocean?!

We used to have seasons here in Jersey. Now we ride a weather roller coaster like the one we were on last Tuesday: 60 degrees and sunny, then dark ominous clouds riding in on the Southern Central Freight… a tornado! with rain, hail and snow…followed by sunny skies and temps below freezing!

Sometimes a hurricane will just decide to do an unannounced drive by. They used to visit every 25 years or so. And thunderstorms? Now we have thunder days with sideways lightning! In the winter! Or what used to be winter. Now it’s more like Wintummerspralling. In 2018  the Delaware Bay froze in January, the all-time monthly record for the warmest minimum temperature was set in August, followed by the wettest fall in 70 years and we even had a meteotsunami that May!(don’t even ask)!

Who knows what going to happen next?

Even the weather service doesn’t know what’s going on. They called this week’s tornado an “Incredible wind event”…just a few more feet into the ocean and we could have has a Sharkdado! but I’m sure that would have been called and incredible shark flying event…with wind!

No one seems to know what’s going on but we now have sometimes snow-less winters, all year round bugs and jellyfish, leaves that fall at Christmastime, flowers that bloom in February… and wineries! There’s no wining in Jersey! Who ever said, “Hey, lets go to Joisey and taste some wines. And fughettabout the pizza and the pork roll. Have the flatbread…and get the avocados?”

What the frig???

There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.

Crap!

I’m still here! Wherever this is?!?!

Joisey? Oh, you ain’t gonna see him no more.

 

The President is Smarter Than WHO?

DEM: The President is smarter than WHO?

REP: That is correct!

DEM: No. I mean who is the President smarter than?

REP: WHO!

DEM: That’s what I’d like to know!

REP: That’s what he’s telling you! President Trump is smarter than WHO.

DEM: WHA?

REP: No! Not the World Hockey Association! The President does not play hockey.

DEM: Well look, the President has to be smarter than somebody. So who is it?

REP: Naturally!

DEM: So The President is smarter than Naturally?

REP: No. WHO!

DEM: Naturally!

REP: That makes no sense at all. For the last time…The President is smarter than WHO!

DEM: Naturally!

REP: Now you’ve got it!

DEM: I don’t even know what I’m talking about!

REP: Well if you don’t know what you’re talking about that’s 2nd base.

DEM: Oh… the Vice President.

Welcome to the White House!

 

 

 

 

I’m Going to Kansas City…Or Am I?

The Kansas City Chiefs just won the Super Bowl! And they’re going to…Kansas?

Well, no…but that’s where the President of the United States thinks they’re from, as you can see from his congratulatory tweet following the big game and the Chief’s victory.

He has since deleted the tweet because even though there is a Kansas City in Kansas, that’s not the Kansas City where the Kansas City Chiefs play. They play in the Kansas City that is in Missouri. And as you can imagine he took a lot of criticism for not knowing the difference.

But that’s an honest mistake isn’t it? After all, did you know where Kansas City was? Or that there were 2 Kansas City(s)…one in Missouri and the other in Kansas? And that the Missouri Kansas City was the BIG Kansas City where the sports teams play?

Well, maybe if you’re a child and didn’t pay attention in school or don’t pay attention to sports or geography or you just aren’t curious about such things but what if you’re a grown adult in your 70’s and… PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES???

Hey, anybody can make a mistake. Right? President Trump has since deleted his tweet and replaced it with an accurate one that congratulates Missouri and even though he looked silly and took a lot of flack for being so uninformed a lot of folks came to his defense like Fox and Friends who said that mixing up the 2 Kansas Citys was like congratulating New Jersey when The New York Giants win and even the Kansas House read his tweet aloud in their chambers and applauded his official and Presidential congratulations to Kansas, for as the Governor of Kansas (a Democrat) said, “We root for the Chiefs too!”

And Matt Schlapp, the chairman of the American Conservative Union had this to say when he tweeted:

@mschlapp

Dear East coast establishment: Kansas City, Kansas is in Kansas.

9:15 AM · Feb 3, 2020

2.1K

Retweets

12.3K

Likes

But what bothers me is that now I’m supposedly part of the “East Coast Establishment”,

because I dare to know things…and at times correct others who don’t…and verifiable

facts are important to me. And here in the 21st century that makes me an elitist, liberal,

who do I think I am, know it all.

So be it.

But what bothers me most is that our President is a man who says that he does know it

all. He is someone who likes to point out everyone’s flaws and he mocks them for having

them. He condemns those he disagrees with. He publicly speculates on whose souls he

believes rot in hell or are exalted in heaven. He defends himself by ordering others to

proclaim that he is right even when he knows that they know that he is wrong…

and those are all things that all of us were taught…once upon a time…were wrong. I believe they still are.

In conclusion, here is a video from the Super Bowl party attended by President Trump during the playing of our country’s National Anthem. The Anthem about which our President proclaimed every American “should stand proudly for” when played, otherwise they should forever be branded a “son-of-a-bitch” unworthy of employment in any respectable American enterprise.

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/article239918518.html

So I propose that in the future should you decide that you have a grievance or complaint or injustice that you would like to protest during the playing of our National Anthem don’t kneel or sit or even remain silent. Rather I propose that you simply do the right thing and act as respectfully as our POTUS acts during this most solemn of anthems.

Wave your arms wildly and grandly in the air as any amateur conductor would. Then point to your friends (or foes) with your finger guns to emphasize that you are here and proud and should be paid attention to. Then shuffle about as though you have ants in your pants and can’t be stilled because there are more important things to be worried about besides anthems.

You know…shake your sillies out…and simply act…Presidential!

That should get you some attention for your cause…without having to upset people by being all establishment and East Coast elitist like.

Yes, It’s always good to be the king! So maybe we should just start emulating him whenever we need to get our point across to his adoring subjects?

 

Mine Eyes Have Seen My Shadow!

 

In honor of Groundhog Day I went outside and saw my own shadow…and it was shivering!… So I went back inside. This told me that it is still winter! And I’m sure that’s what the poor marmot in Pennsylvania is thinking every time those silly Punxsutawnians take him out of his home and hold him in the light of a freezing day.

We have some strange and weird commemorative days in our calendar and I just had to look this one up.  The 2nd of February was once (and I’m sure still is) a Christian holiday traditionally known as Candlemas. It is also known as the Presentation of Jesus at the Temple, the Feast of the Purification of the Virgin, and the Meeting of the Lord.

According to the gospel of Luke, Mary and Joseph took the baby Jesus to the Temple in Jerusalem forty days  after his birth to complete Mary’s ritual purification after childbirth, and to perform the redemption of the firstborn, in obedience to the Law of Moses. When they got to the temple the Gospel also records that they encountered Simeon who had been promised by the holy spirit that “he should not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Christ”

So once upon a time 40 days after Christmas Simeon saw the baby Jesus… and today, 2 thousand and some odd years later, a groundhog sees his shadow and then Spring comes!…eventually…like it always does.

Really the whole thing was and is about the celebration of light and it’s return. The days are getting longer and that’s always a good thing especially in times when electricity hadn’t been encountered yet. And metaphorically speaking Jesus is also known as the “light of the world” and his birth is often viewed as the shedding of light upon the human soul and condition…So let’s celebrate!

I have no idea why all of these religious icons and ideas have all been replaced by cute animals, parties and jolly old elves etc…but isn’t it curious that many pagan celebrations and festivals which began with the worship of earthly places and deities in the pre-Christian era morphed into religious holidays and the celebration of personal icons during the advent of Christianity and now thousands of years later have morphed again into celebrations of cartoon-like characters, who seemingly have nothing to teach us except that we should have a party and buy things.

Speaking of which, we now celebrate the Superbowl at this same time of year, a truly pagan festival  which commemorates the end of the barbaric football season and the thankful return of the light of baseball, a truly civilized sport of Spring, warm weather and safely returning home.

So…Happy Imbolc, Candlemas, Groundhog Day and Superbowl Sunday!

Some things just never change…even though they always do.

Climate Mockery

It’s now 2020! And After a summer of record temperatures in the Arctic scientists say Greenland’s ice sheet experienced its biggest melt, losing 197 billion tons of surface ice to the ocean — equivalent to 80 million Olympic swimming pools.

Temperatures are rising all across the planet. Weather patterns are changing. More and more animal species are in danger of extinction. Birds and bugs are disappearing. Our garbage and waste products are piling up all over the world and the oceans are filling with plastic debris from sea to shining sea.

And Australia is on fire…

Meanwhile:

President Donald Trump’s 2020 campaign store now sells: Trump-branded plastic straws. And The description of the Trump straws is not subtle about the message the merchandise is meant to send. “Liberal paper straws don’t work. Stand with President Trump and buy your pack of recyclable straws today,” it reads. “Make Straws Great Again.”

A video that went viral last year of a marine biologist helping to remove a plastic straw from a sea turtle’s nose brought attention to the issue of plastic waste and specifically to the use of plastic straws…A recent study estimated that there are about 7.5 million plastic straws strewn on America’s beaches, amid 35 million tons of plastic pollution produced worldwide every year, about a quarter of which is dumped in rivers, streams and the oceans.

As a result many communities and businesses have begun to ban the use of plastic straws altogether. In the US, the west coast cities of Seattle and Malibu, near Los Angeles, have declared war on straws, while statewide bans of the items are being considered in California and Hawaii…and Many countries are even moving to phase out plastics in various forms.

 

But if you are a supporter of President Trump and the Republican Party then for just 15 dollars you can purchase a 10-pack of  red straws with Trump’s name “laser engraved” on them to show that you just don’t care about plastic waste. In fact his supporters so far don’t care to the tune of more than $856,000 in sales… since last July!

The success of the plastic straws – which the campaign says are recyclable (as is most plastic already) – is likely due to the hope of riling liberals, or anyone who is not keen on clogging up landfill, oceans, or the noses of turtles everywhere…with plastic straws.

Besides, President Trump has said that the US has bigger environmental problems than straws… And sadly, he has been addressing those problems by the way, by slashing and/or eliminating environmental regulations and protections on just about everything throughout the United States.

Now I know that we live in a free country and we all have the right to say and do as we please. And if you don’t think that our environment needs any special taking care of or that 8 billion people living on a planet that once had none, cannot in any way shape or form have any impact on how that planet behaves, then you are entitled to your opinion.

But do you really have to mock the rest of us who do? And mock the planet that you live on too? Really?

40% of America is now on board with tossing your soda cups, straws and cheeseburger wrappers out of your speeding car’s window while laughing and cavorting in your front seats as you wave your middle finger in the rear view window at Mother Nature… whenever the feeling moves you?!

Really? Remember when being a Litterbug was a bad thing?! Doesn’t anyone have grandchildren… who they love anymore?

I know that you won’t be around when they will have grown up to be the age that you are now. But if you were, what would you say to them?

“We did it for the straws? Plastic Straws were fun! Plastic Straws were wonderful! Plastic Straws were a necessity!

…You?… Not so much”…?

 

As Time Goes By…

Happy New Year everyone! And thanks to those of you who  you visited my blog once again this year…that’s if you have been visiting… because I have stopped writing… or at least haven’t written very often these days! But I am still alive! (And hopefully you are too 🙂 And so…here we are…again…

There are 525,600 minutes in a year and in 2012, (when I started blogging) I crossed the 30 million mark in minutes spent on Earth!

…So that means that as of midnight of the 31st of December this year I will arrive at 33,899,040!…(that’s 23,541 days!) but again, who’s counting? Still over 33 and one half million minutes alive!? Is that an accomplishment or just something that breathing and waking up every day took care of for me? Life in the fourth dimension took forever to move through when I was a child…but now it seems like I am definitely on the fast track to old age and beyond for this year (2020) I shall reach the age of 65.

And that is officially, at least by American standards, old! Can you say Medicare?

I’ll be leaping over the 35 million minute threshold early into 2020 and I will do my best to keep enjoying every minute of those minutes! So do your best to Spend your time… and enjoy it… wisely…

Remember! It may be a crazy and unpredictable world but it still is the only world in town.

Anyway, thanks for continuing to slow yourself down every once in a while by taking the time to visit and read my blog…and

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

America’s Racoonteurs?

Here is a post that I recently saw on Facebook. It was posted by a supporter of President Trump and then copied and pasted by other loyal Trump supporters to their own Facebook pages to help explain to all other Americans why Donald Trump is the best man for the job of President of the United States.

In Summary: They, President Trump supporters, just want to get rid of the damn raccoons that have been infesting America. And that is the… one and only thing… that they care about. And President Trump is the one and only guy who understands what they want and who will do what they want… because the raccoons have got to go!

The best way to tell that what you believe in is wrong is when you know that you can’t say it out loud. When you rant and rave and preach and proclaim about what it is that makes you so angry but then when it comes time to name that one thing that makes you so mad you have to say “raccoon”  rather that what you really mean.

So who are the “raccoons” that 40% of American voters hate so much? Anyone care to guess…or say it out loud?