Everybody was Kung-Flu Fighting

Who can take a virus, mix it with some lies, re-name it just for fun and make 4 billion people cry?…

Apparently… The President and his White House can!

Yes, our fearless leader has done it again.

This morning I watched as our POTUS somberly announced that America would now be on a war footing as it organizes a more serious attempt to do combat with a deadly, silent, invisible killer: The Covid-19 virus.

However, by the late afternoon he had identified our invisible enemy as the “Chinese Virus” or for those a little less eloquent (like our POTUS) The Chi-Na Virus!…emphasis on the Chi or Ji as those even less eloquent (like our POTUS) are apt to pronounce it.

But of course, even later in the afternoon, that term had morphed further still and it was reported that folks inside The White House now refer to it as “The Kung-Flu”!

When asked, President Donald Trump said that he did not believe the term “kung-flu” and other discriminatory phrases would put Asian Americans at risk of xenophobic attacks amid the ongoing corona virus (its real name) pandemic. And he went on to say that he did not believe Asian Americans would be negatively affected by the use of the phrase.

“No, not at all,” The President said. “I think they’d probably agree with it 100%. It comes from China. There’s nothing not to agree on.”

Sadly I do not believe that most, if not all, Americans can tell where one Asian comes from and where another does not. The Spanish come from Mexico and Asians come from China. Ne c’est pas?

So when one is the president of a nation fighting the battle of their lives against an unseen and deadly foe, what do another 4.5 billion insulted human beings matter one way or the other?…I guess?

We’re just lucky the virus didn’t start in Russia. (I don’t see why it would) But if it did we wouldn’t know what to call it…other than Hillary’s virus or Obama’s monstrosity, or something like that.

Anyway I’m sure that Fox News will clear this all up for us in the morning when they direct us to where all of this fake news and liberal hoaxing began in the first place.

And many years from now on the anniversary of this trying time in our nation’s history I’m sure that Fox and Friends will fondly look back, smile at one another and then turn to the audience at home and say with a hearty laugh: “Hey! Remember that time many years ago when…

“Everybody was Kung-Flu fighting!” (Cue the Oriental music and everybody dance!) (Can’t you hear it? Can’t you see it?)

Sorry world…America is most likely here to stay.

 

 

 

 

General Tso’s Fish

Here is the United States our military has 11 aircraft carriers to China’s 1. But when it comes to fishing trawlers China out numbers our fleet by 2,000! As a result the Chinese are happily on their way to eating all of the fish in the ocean…or oceans I should say.

It seems that in recent years the Chinese have had to sail away from their own fishing grounds where they have actually caught almost all of the fish, to fisheries all over the world and thousands of miles from home because…well, there are over a billion and a half Chinese…and they love to eat  fish! To the tune of 3.1 million tons per year! That’s a lot of Sushi.

So much so that other countries around the world are now finding it hard to catch their own fish in their own waters because…as it turns out, there truly are… only so many fish in the sea and not the unlimited supply that Red Lobster tells us there are.

But the Chinese don’t just eat the fish that they catch in the ocean because a 2017 study  published in Fish and Fisheries found that China also hauls in more fish catch for non-human consumption than any other country in the world. Those fish they use to convert into fish oil and fishmeal which they then use to feed to aquaculture fish like farm raised Salmon, which the Chinese apparently really like.

So they are not just feeding fish to people. They are feeding fish to fish so they don’t have to fish for so much fish! Which of course, while delicious, is only making things worse for fishermen around the world.

So if you like to eat fish enjoy them while you can because even though we are pumping money into our navy to protect the seven seas, China is pumping money into its fishing fleet so they can eat all of the fish in the seven seas. Then I suppose when they are done eating… we can have it.

Just ask any mermaid you happen to see, “What’s the best tuna?”

There is none! Just a bunch of aircraft carriers. And they are not very tasty.