White House Surrenders! Victory Declared!

29 Oct
We Surrender - Home | Facebook

It’s Over! Hurrah! The Covid-19 Virus has been defeated even though our government has just announced that “We will not try to control the pandemic!”

From now on we will just treat it like the common ordinary flu with vaccines and medicines and getting better. So there!

Even though the Coronavirus has felled almost 230,000 citizens in 8 months and is 10 times more deadly than the common, ordinary flu virus it can’t win if we just ignore it…

You know, like we do with the common, everyday, ordinary flu! So what if it kills 36,000 Americans each year? Who cares? Do you know any of those 36,000?…probably not. And so what if this new virus kills 360,000 per year? Do you know any of those people either?

“Just get over it!” Says our President! “Don’t let it dominate you!” “It’s all just a big media hoax.”

If we stop testing it, it can’t pass the test now can it? And we won’t have so many cases then will we? And if you do get it and die from it because you were too fat or too asthmatic or too old or too poor or whatever… then that was the real killer wasn’t it? And it really was all your fault wasn’t it?

So stop complaining and take better care of yourself!

Let’s all just ignore it and stop being so frightened and simply declare victory! How can the virus win if we win first?! We can’t both win can we? So there! Take that Coronavirus!

And today The White House science office (when did the White House get a science office?) listed “ending the COVID-19 pandemic” as the top accomplishment of  President Trump’s first term. His TOP accomplishment!…Which he just accomplished! Wow!

And today was also the day when the U.S. set a record for new daily infections! Talk about snatching victory from the jaws of defeat! Way to go White House Science Department!

Who knew that surrender could lead to such sweet, wonderful victory!?

I mean who knew that victory could lead to such sweet wonderful surrender?

I don’t know what I mean but someone does…

Our very own stable genius, That’s who!

And according to Presidential Advisor, Jared Kushner, President Trump has been “getting the country back from the doctors” in what he called a “negotiated settlement.”

It was such a simple minded idea that it was simply, absolutely brilliant!

We negotiated a settlement with the doctors who agreed to stand down from their all out assault on the American public’s freedom, while our President (AKA The “great negotiator” BTW) stepped in and made peace with the deadly virus by declaring it an enemy that he no longer recognizes.

So it’s all over now folks…Huzzah! (except for The Dying)

Nothing to do from now on but the shopping and the playing and the school going and the work doing and the stock marketing and well, you know…(The Dying)

so just do me a favor will ya?

Don’t die!

And if by chance you do…keep it to yourself… okay?

Why spoil such a good plan?

You’re Welcome!

One Response to “White House Surrenders! Victory Declared!”

  1. ranu802 October 29, 2020 at 3:16 pm #

    If life was that easy, we’d celebrate the victory. Sadly it’s not the case. 😦

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