Who Am I?!

27 May

This month I have to renew my New Jersey Driver’s License. 4 years ago, for the first time in my life (I’m 61) I needed to show 6 points of identification to prove my identity (which includes Birth Certificate, Social Security card, Voter Registration card, Utility Bills, Tax bills and my old Drivers License) and then have my picture taken so there would be no mistake that from that point on I was who I said I was. This was all done in 2011 as part of all of the states compliance with Homeland Security rules and regulations.

Here is the copy as it appears on the Homeland Security News Wire explaining just how sophisticated the new NJ driver’s licenses are.

In compliance with Secure ID, the federal law that mandates that states create more stringent identification cards, New Jersey has unveiled a sophisticated new driver’s license; according to New Jersey officials, the new Enhanced Digital Driver’s License puts New Jersey among the ten states with the most secure identity cards; to prevent counterfeiting, security features include an embedded pattern on the license, one and two dimensional bar codes, and “purposeful errors” like misspellings; to implement these new licenses, the state’s MVCs have had to undergo a $19 million upgrade to install new computer systems, hardware, and software.

Notice how NJ had to spend 19 million dollars to upgrade their software etc. But the new licenses had photos and embeds and bar codes to make them super secure and fraud preventive. So whenever I go to purchase my Claritin-D  all the pharmacist has to do is look at my face and compare it to the face on my license, then scan the back of my license which inputs everything there is to know about me into their pharmacy computers where then even the Federal government will be notified and able to track my pseudoephedrine purchases to make sure I’m just into allergies and not into crystal meth!

Anyway, my license is now expiring and I have to have it renewed…in person…at the NJ Motor vehicles office…And I have to bring my 6 points of ID with me, just like I did in 2012…to prove who I am!…Again!

Why can’t they just look at my face and then look at my Super Secure Homeland Security Specific NJ drivers license… with my face on it, and then scan the super secure embedded bar code on the back and say “Hey it’s You! Congratulations! Go home and have a nice day!”

Why do I have to go through the entire 6 point, prove who I am, like nobody but me knows, like you can’t see the face I’m wearing, that matches the drivers license I have, that I couldn’t have gotten, unless I had proven who I was, 4 years ago, so I could get the license that I’m holding in my hand now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently My NJ Drivers License proves who I am to everyone except the NJ Motor Vehicles Department! And they gave it to me in the first place when I proved to them who I was! These guys are worse than my bankers. Who also pretend to NOT know who I am whenever I go there to get some of my own money, that I could only put there by proving who I was!

So off I go tomorrow to hopefully once again prove who I am to bureaucrats with a short term memory offering the promise of a long term ID card that they can’t ever make good on.

I’ve got IDs up the wazoo and still nobody knows the me I really am! Do I? Does anyone?

All I can say is… Thanks a lot Alzheimer bin-Laden!


9 Responses to “Who Am I?!”

  1. mrsloomis May 27, 2016 at 1:17 am #

    and yet you need NONE of that to vote!

  2. avwalters May 27, 2016 at 1:49 am #

    Makes is harder to drive. Makes it harder to vote. There! Two birds with one stone.

  3. GP Cox May 27, 2016 at 10:07 am #

    I went through it as well the last time I renewed and Yes, it was annoying. But I was glad to see them doing all that checking rather than the days I remember Miami handing out Free licenses to unchecked and untested “drivers.”

  4. stevenjwillard May 27, 2016 at 12:22 pm #

    I see Kafka smiling and nodding.

  5. Ravi Chander May 27, 2016 at 1:12 pm #

    @mrsloomis Thanks to your comment, I had to check. I found out that one can vote in NJ using a Store Membership Card!

    Meaning, one can take an expired BJs club card with its fuzzy grainy picture and vote as the card does not show any expiration date.

    As you get older, the State makes it tougher to get a DL and as a result, to drive. Now, how does one get to the polling station with your expired store card, if it isn’t within walking distance?

  6. The Crazy Crone May 27, 2016 at 5:12 pm #

    My husband had to go for a medical in Australia when he was 75 to get his driver’s licence renewed. He never goes to the doctor, is disgustingly healthy and looks about 60. So he chose my doctor, went to see her and she gave him the 3rd degree, accusing him of impersonating someone else because he looked so young. She only agreed he was he was claiming to be when he told her I was a patient, the woman with the purple hair. After that, she was as nice as pie!

  7. mvschulze May 27, 2016 at 10:23 pm #

    I do like the effort in the current NJ licensing process, as it certainly is better than a lesser alternative. But your thought on the state’s insecurity – requiring it all be done again, is interesting. None the less, in today’s day and age…. and until a finite ID method is perfected (Think eyeball scan in the film “Minority Report”) I’m all for keeping ahead of the bad guys. M:-)

  8. cielotech June 8, 2016 at 11:12 pm #

    Great post. I’m 74 and going through the very same thing but definitely NOT to the extent you are having to deal with. I think our Federal government considers us criminal unless we prove otherwise. I do NOT see that changing too soon. Again, Great Post. B.

  9. annasdiabetes August 30, 2016 at 10:40 pm #

    Boy, am I glad that I don’t live in NJ. I am 65, live in Ohio, went over to BMV today and had a new license issued on occasion of having moved. No one even asked when I moved which btw was over six months ago, and a lonely credit card bill was enough to verify my identity. Along with the old DL of course.

    Now I’m all set for the next 4 years. Yay!!

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