Here on the East coast of New Jersey winter storm Jonas is about to hit! And what are we humans doing? Food shopping of course! The grocery stores here are so crowded that one would think that we New Jerseyans hadn’t eaten anything in 3 weeks and aren’t expecting to be able to go outside again or get near a food store for 3 more!
After all it’s only going to snow for about 8 to 10 hours and most of that will happen over night when most of us usually do our sleeping. And then we’ll get up and shovel our driveways and the temperature will rise above freezing and…we’ll be free again! Free I say!
But why take chances? There’s nothing like the threat of snow to bring out the gluttony in everyone! What if we are trapped inside of our houses for most of the day and have to eat everything in our cupboards just to keep warm? Then what will we eat tomorrow? Is 10,000 calories enough? 20,000?
What if we humans lived on the planet Venus where it storms all of the time? We’d all be in a perpetual state of food shopping and living in fear of going without cupcakes! Just Imagine how happy grocery chains would be in a place where there was always the threat of bad weather…but it never came?
Now just think about how awful it must be to live in a food desert? You know, one of those places here in America where it is unprofitable to run a supermarket or grocery store because the people there don’t have enough money to shop… until they drop. Grocery chains don’t really care what the weather is like in the inner cities I suppose. And the poor people there must spend a lot of time praying for sunshine… and manna to drop from heaven.
But that’s life here in the states. If you’re not busy indulging in gluttony then you’re probably busy going hungry. Just as long as you’re busy doing something…otherwise the government will probably cut your food stamps again. It’s gonna cost millions and millions of dollars you know, just to plow all of this snow…
So we can go out in our SUVs… and get some more food.