Good Grief And Happy Holidays!

1 Dec

It’s December 1st and you know what that means! It’s the Holiday season! Oops, I mean it’s the Christmas season! Sorry Santa and Fox News. I didn’t mean to sound insincere. I know that Christmas has been under attack lately (again) and it seems to be a recurring problem (every year) and I know that Starbucks has only red and green coffee cups this year (instead of Christmasy ones) but should we really be worried about Christmas? And it’s untimely death anytime soon?

Here in the United States we have about 35,000 citizens killed each year by gun violence because here in the United States we have a fondness for guns and for shooting one another. So much so that it really isn’t even news. With almost 100 citizens being shot per day you’d think we’d hear about that more often…but we don’t or at least if we do we don’t seem to pay much attention. Why is that? Is 100 shootings per day too many to care about? Not enough? Just right?

Who can say? But…If we Americans and our news media are unconcerned with 100 citizens being shot and killed each and every day, why is the supposed and attempted assassination of Christmas such a big story? I mean no one says there’s a war on people…does one? And we’ve been at war for 13 years now!

So let’s get serious. If someone were really trying to kill Christmas in this country, it would be dead already!

Wouldn’t it?…

Probably shot dead from a 6th floor department store window during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. I mean if anyone really had it out for Christmas it would be Thanksgiving! Right?

But even so, we Americans are a resilient bunch and would probably just brush off Christmas’ untimely death and move on…after a proper grieving period followed by more intensive shopping to get our mind off of our misery. Then we’d just replace Christmas with the new kid on the block like Vice-Christmas or Widow Christmas or maybe just move straight onto Superbowl Christmas and upgrade its status straight to deity. Then we could have an extra crazy month of shopping and celebrations added to the holiday season!

I’m just saying…

And besides, With all of Santa’s yearly home invasions wouldn’t Christmas have been dead long ago, shot by a vigilant gun owner who just didn’t like surprises?

That is if we Americans really had it in for Christmas?

But we don’t. We love Christmas here in America…and we love it so much that…dare I say… we love it more than we love life itself?

Yes Christmas, you are safe and well here in the United States and although hammers and guns may be of equal and deadly force when it comes to breaking our bones it’s people who kill people not hammers and guns, so certainly being called a name like “holiday” shall never hurt you.

So yes, Virginia, the reports of Christmas’ death and/or vicious assaults upon it, are being greatly exaggerated. So don’t you worry about Christmas…And if there is a Santa Claus, I’m sure he has a permit to carry. Tho he may be imaginary, I’m sure he’s not stupid.

6 Responses to “Good Grief And Happy Holidays!”

  1. RAB December 1, 2015 at 4:24 pm #

    Yet another spot-on post! Sharing via Facebook!

  2. ranu802 December 1, 2015 at 4:51 pm #

    Thank you for reminding us what we’re doing wrong.

  3. Barbara Backer-Gray December 1, 2015 at 7:02 pm #

    Very good! I’m sharing.

  4. Snowbird of Paradise December 2, 2015 at 4:30 am #

    Good grief, indeed!

  5. Outlier Babe December 21, 2015 at 1:00 am #

    Fox “news” causes major harm, and uncontrolled gun use worse, but one would have to be living with blinders not to realize that the de-Christianizing of Christmas has been almost entirely accomplished. I noted in a comment yesterday that most stores and radio stations, for years now, no longer play religious carols, but only “safe” holiday songs. Atheist activists freely put out displays mocking Christian nativities, but where are their displays mocking Hannukah menorahs? Muhammed’s birthday (celebrated Dec. 21st this year)? I’m not Christian, but I certainly see it.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Good Grief And Happy Holidays! | Resident Alien -- Being Dutch in America - December 1, 2015

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