Republican candidate for president, Jeb Bush, says that he is going to break the mold when it comes to being like the rest of the presidential members of his family because he has some very different ideas about how to make America strong again. Which begs the question…Are we weak now?
Anyway, Jeb’s first key to getting us stronger is to work harder! Apparently what’s wrong with America is that Americans don’t work hard enough and aren’t productive enough. Do you feel that that pretty much describes you and your American family? You’re all a bunch of deadbeats and lazy bones?
So after we all do our part and start working more Jeb says that he’ll do his part, if you elect him president, and do the things that no other Bush before him has done…Like cut government jobs! (but I thought we were going to work more?) And cut taxes… because who needs more money when you are already way too much in debt? And no new spending…on anything new! Unless I suppose there are new wars. In the Bush family I think war is like dessert: There’s always room for war…
Perhaps it sounds like a plan but just Imagine running your own family budget this way.
“Okay kids gather around. Your mother and I have decided to become more productive so we’ll be working more…but on the other hand we will not be asking for any more money from our bosses. In fact we’re going to ask them to keep more of our hard earned money so they can use it to create more jobs for other folks. So with more work for us and less money for you that means some of you will have to grow up and get out, because we’re going to cut spending and downsize and those of you who leave will not be replaced…(so don’t even think about bringing any grandchildren around!) but that’s OK because now that your mother and I are working more we will have to cut back on the 15 minutes that we as average American parents spend with our children each day already… So it all works out! Because More work and less time, while cutting income, along with a reduction in family members and their spending, equals productivity for all! Doesn’t it?…And oh yes, we’ll probably be invading the neighbors house at 0 six hundred tomorrow morning. So look sharp and dress for success. Just use the credit card if you need supplies… That is all.”
He also promised that it wouldn’t be business as usual in old Washington D.C. if he were elected president because he would crack down on the influence of lobbyists, noting that as governor of Florida he enacted a strict ban on gifts from lobbyists to legislators. Of course I think that he got that last idea from one of his top advisers, Sally Bradshaw, who is married to the founder of one of Florida’s most successful lobbying firms…so like his dad and brother before him…you can probably just read his lips to know that he’ll keep that promise!
Now who wants to go look for some more WMDs?!