We Don’t Know Jack!

13 Dec

Torturing is easy for Jack Bauer because he is always right and he always represents the forces of good as opposed to the forces of evil, even when he is on his own. And his conscience never bothers him because he always gets the information he is seeking from his tortured victim…and even when he has the wrong person! He’s just intuitive that way. You gotta love that Jack!

But in the real world torturing is a little more complicated. I, for instance, would be happy to tell you everything I know under the threat of torture. You wouldn’t have to hurt me because I know exactly where you are going and I don’t want to go there because, well, torturing hurts! A lot! Who doesn’t know that? The trouble is that you, the torturer, may not believe me! Especially if it is too easy so…you’ll just have to keep it up for a while won’t you? Just to make sure.

The trouble with torture, or even conversation for that matter, is how do I know that what you tell me on a tortured Monday is the truth when on a tortured Wednesday you tell me something different…and then on a torturing Friday, you change your story again?

It’s just like with witches isn’t it? You can tie them up and toss them in the lake and wait for them to float to the surface (because their bones are hollow…everyone knows that!) but then they just sink to the bottom like everyone else! So maybe, you think, they aren’t witches after all…but then again…maybe they’re just tricking you because witches can do witchcraft so anything is possible! So let’s give them a few minutes to see if they float to the surface…or hours, or days or whatever. Who knows if we were right or wrong but I say good riddance anyway because it wasn’t like we were going to have them over for cake and coffee…ever… because they were outcasts in the first place now weren’t they?

It’s like when an unarmed inner city guy gets shot by a police officer. The officers are just protecting themselves and doing their duty and besides they are all sworn to uphold the law and why in god’s name should we suspect that they ever had any intent to do wrong? Besides who were those inner city guys anyway? Neighbors? Friends? More likely they were lowlifes who had done some bad things before and It’s not like we were having them over for a barbecue next week or anything, right?

And so it is the same with torturing terrorists? They’re terrorists for goodness sake! At least we think they are. And they don’t even believe in God! At least not the correct one, right? And even if we may be wrong and we torture the wrong guy(s) how are we…or you…ever really gonna know for sure? Just like those witches. You can go ahead and swim to the bottom of the lake for all I care and see if they’re still down there or not… but as for me? Just like Jack, I’m satisfied and I say good riddance to bad rubbish! Besides, who are the good guys here and who are the evil doers? You and me, or those witches, lowlifes and terrorists?

And that’s the point now isn’t it?!

9 Responses to “We Don’t Know Jack!”

  1. makagutu December 13, 2014 at 6:25 pm #

    I would tell Jack everything he wanted to know and more if he just promised he would let me go unharmed

    • emmylgant December 13, 2014 at 7:27 pm #

      You and me Mak!

      • makagutu December 13, 2014 at 7:28 pm #

        I would volunteer information including what was irrelevant!

    • RAB December 14, 2014 at 1:50 am #

      And if I didn’t know the answer I would make something up!

      • makagutu December 14, 2014 at 9:25 am #

        You know!

  2. emmylgant December 13, 2014 at 7:25 pm #

    Yes, that’s the point! Nailed it again.

  3. kingmidget December 13, 2014 at 7:42 pm #

    I’m pretty sure if a suspect weighs as much as a duck, they’re a terrorist.

    Thanks for adding a little bit of semi-serious levity to this whole torture thing. It is one of the more depressing episodes of my 50 years on Earth as an American. It boggles my mind how so many people can think there’s nothing wrong with torture. It has been one of my greatest frustrations that our response to 9/11 was to let the fear cause us to forget who we are aspiring to be. But, it shouldn’t be surprising. Japanese Internment camps are just one of the many examples of how we, like humans everywhere, let fear corrupt our hearts.

  4. Ravi Chander December 15, 2014 at 1:03 am #

    To pun, ‘you have hit the nail on its head’.

  5. AfterTheKidsLeave December 16, 2014 at 12:19 pm #

    Excellent analogies–very well done.

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