No Way Out!

7 Sep

I was recently reading Time Magazine’s “Answers” Issue and one of their answers was to the question: Which is the most dangerous place to live in the USA? And the answer was: Ocean County, New Jersey!

Good grief! That’s where I live!

Ocean County is supposed to be the most dangerous place to live because of its potential for natural disasters…but really that has just about everything to do with the ocean which every once in a while enjoys washing away all of the homes and businesses that we like to build right on the ocean’s front doorstep. Then of course we build them all right back up again and wait for them to get washed away again. As you can imagine that gets pretty expensive.

So since Hurricane Sandy was pretty scary I’ve thought about packing up and running away to some place safer…but according to Time magazine, if I run south I have to go through Cape May County, the third most dangerous county in America! And if I head west I’ll have to cross into Pennsylvania and according to Time Magazine’s list of most dangerous intersections I’ll run smack dab into the most dangerous intersection in the USA in Bensalem, PA!…Not to mention the fact that I would also have to drive through Camden, NJ: America’s crime capital of 2012!

And if I head north I’ll be traveling through the 3rd most dangerous intersection in the USA in Elizabeth, NJ! And of course the NJ Turnpike winds its way through “Cancer Alley” on the way there!

I’m trapped! There is no way out! Nothing to do but fret, worry and eat all day (just ask our Governor)…Perhaps this is why New Jersey is the most densely populated state in the Union? We check in…but we can’t check out!

But honestly, New Jersey has never really seemed like it was all that dangerous to me. I’m more afraid of tornadoes and earthquakes and drought and snakes and killer bees and giant jumping Asian Carp and brain numbing cold and sinkholes and giant forest fires and fracking…we don’t have much if any of that in New Jersey.

So I think I’ll stay…not that I can leave…because…well, you know.

Too bad, and it’s such a nice day…Oh well, Guess I’m off to the beach!

7 Responses to “No Way Out!”

  1. momshieb September 7, 2014 at 9:57 pm #

    haha! We moved to Joisey in 1981, so my hubby could get his doctorate. I got my Masters there, too, but I hate the whole experience. When we moved back home, I got a pin that read, “I’d rather die than live in New Jersey”.
    So there you go.

  2. mvschulze September 7, 2014 at 10:48 pm #

    Our biggest asset is the secret of the incredible treasures we have for ourselves here in New Jersey. Want to know about them? Ask any of the millions of us that live here and love it – but don’t tell anybody. In this case ignorance of those who believe the media, is bliss for us!

  3. cindyricksgers September 7, 2014 at 10:54 pm #

    Great post! Are none of us safe??

  4. sunsetdragon September 8, 2014 at 2:02 am #

    The area of town we live inn out here on the Washington Coast, is called felony Flats, and we never have any trouble where at all.
    Amazing what we do not know

  5. avwalters September 8, 2014 at 2:10 pm #

    The solution to the repeat business of disaster is to limit FEMA coverage in areas too dangerous to live. Use a “one bite of the apple” policy, where a particular property gets only one shot at any one particular kind of hazard relief. Sounds harsh? Not really–because after the original victim gets aid, the no aid rule will prevent banks and insurance companies from funding/insuring the property in the future. That way–there won’t be any future victims.

    Everyplace has its hazards–we need to identify them and build accordingly–or not build at all.

    • gpicone September 9, 2014 at 2:57 am #

      I read that much of the FEMA money goes to wealthy folks who keep rebuilding again and again in hazardous areas so Congress did as you suggested and revised their policy on insurances etc basically because FEMA is in the red but then…wait for it…Congress reversed their policy back to the original just in time for the midterms! So let’s cut food stamps for the hungry and rebuild homes for the wealthy. That’s a policy that should be able to sustain our empire, huh?

  6. Outlier Babe November 15, 2014 at 6:28 am #

    Rockland County folk can tell you Jersey sucks. The only reason to cross the border is to duck taxes, and cut through Jersey headed somewhere else.

    Pine Barrens. Phaw!! They ain’t no Palisades!

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