Isn’t It All Just Really About the Benjamins?

30 Apr

Unless you’ve been living under a rock then you’ve heard about Donald Sterling, the owner of the Los Angeles Clipper’s basketball franchise…and probably not much else for the past day or so. He’s the billionaire racist who, because of remarks that were recorded by his girlfriend, will from now on be forever known as… the billionaire racist.

Now of course no one in their right mind can agree with the statements that he has been credited with making, as countless television and radio personalities have been pointing out ad infinitum all day long, but while I was listening to all of the talk and debate I was amazed to hear that through it all, Mr. Sterling’s wife still supports him… But I thought that he had a girlfriend… Which of course he does have. He has both a wife and a girlfriend and not only is it not a secret, but apparently everyone is cool with that. The NBA, the media, the fans, the owners, the wife, the girlfriend…everyone! That’s a non story.

The real story is that Mr. Sterling is a selfish, racist, old bastard. I mean really, who could have seen that coming?

Not his wife, who while defending her husband’s comments is also suing him for damages because he has been spending “community money” on his girlfriend rather than “his own” money on his girlfriend.

Not his girlfriend, who has been too busy enjoying all of the cars and houses and jewelry that he has been buying her to notice that deep down he’s always really been just a creep.

Not the media, who can’t seem to get enough of all things Mr Sterling these days including the sudden recollection of previous stories that can prove that he has been a racist old fart for as long as anyone can remember.

Even the NAACP gave Mr. Sterling a life time achievement award a few years ago to honor his billionaire largess. What were they thinking? Couldn’t they see past his wallet far enough to notice he was a misogynist bigot?

In fact just about everyone everywhere has been outraged by Mr Sterling’s comments, and justifiably so, especially the NBA players and their fans…just not outraged enough to stop working for him or to stop attending the games played by his team. We all have morals but if the checks are signed and the tickets are already paid for what can one do?

Anyway, my point is that if Mr. Sterling’s first name weren’t Billionaire, we probably all would have been done with him long ago or not even bothered to have mentioned him at all in the first place. But luckily for Mr. Sterling, he is a billionaire and billionaire’s have money and lots of it, which, according to the Supreme Court of the United States, in their most recent decision, is equivalent to free speech and apparently even freer, although more expensive, than speech itself…so Mr. Sterling should have kept letting his money do all of the the talking while keeping his big mouth shut…at least in front of recording devices, because it seems as though all of the people who can now remember all of the bigoted things he used to say… had for some reason, somehow, forgotten them.

And besides, Mr. Sterling really need not worry too much because only a few months ago that same Supreme Court also struck down the Voter’s Rights Act of 1965 effectively declaring racism pretty much dead and gone to heaven, at least here in the USA. So how can he be a racist when there is no more racism?

Besides, now that he is out of the basketball business he can always just use his money to buy…excuse me…speak to… a few (or as many as he likes) Congressmen and Senators and then instruct them…excuse me…suggest to them that they create a new law that makes racism officially, once and for all, extinct and anyone who says otherwise can and will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law, so help me God…and don’t laugh. That definitely can be done now. Just ask those 5 Justices.

And speaking of God, if Mr. Sterling is for some reason particularly concerned about his soul and future standing in heaven (he is 80 years old) then he can always pay (make a donation to) his church for the guarantee of his soul’s absolution. They still do that don’t they? I’m Catholic and that’s how we used to do it (and why you’re all Protestants now) but I don’t think we say it out loud anymore…sometimes you have to learn lessons the hard way.

I know I probably sound too cynical but I bet that even if I do make it up to heaven some day there will probably be an entrance fee. Okay, now you think I’ve gone too far. Heaven has to be free, whether you’re poor or rich, or else it just wouldn’t be fair. But I know that you’ll probably have to pay if you want to get one of the nice condos with a view. And don’t tell me they don’t have condos up there because I’ve already paid for the 12 cassette program that an Evangelical sold me explaining all about the mansions that God is preparing in heaven… so put a credit card in my casket because I’m pretty sure they won’t take cash. Better put some coins over my eyes too so I can pay for parking…there’s never free parking…and never enough of it so I can probably expect to have to drive around…forever…waiting for a space to open up. What are the chances of that happening?

Anyway, that’s probably Purgatory: getting close but winding up in the parking lot on a hot day waiting for a space to open up. Maybe that’s where we are when we contact Jonathan Edward on the satellite radio so we can talk to our living relatives back on Earth, while they’re all tuned into Larry King on pay cable?

Oh well, I wonder who’ll be waiting for us at the Pearly Gates? Will it be old Saint Pete, or Mr. B. Franklin… As in Benjamin? Because you just know that when you die… if you want to end up some place nice… somebody is gonna have to show someone the Benjamins…and lots of em’!

 

 

12 Responses to “Isn’t It All Just Really About the Benjamins?”

  1. msauthorette April 30, 2014 at 2:17 am #

    Yep, you hit the nail on the head with “Anyway, my point is that if Mr. Sterling’s first name weren’t Billionaire, we probably all would have been done with him long ago or not even bothered to have mentioned him at all in the first place.” And, on a side note, his wife is also suing the girlfriend, claiming she used her feminine wiles to coerce Mr. Sterling into giving her money, and cars, and she’s trying to force the girlfriend to relinquish a million-dollar property. Yes, this dude is a racist bastard, but it is a bit sickening how much everyone surrounding him is so focused on the money. People with lots of money often have lots of headaches. Good post.

  2. shunpwrites April 30, 2014 at 3:19 am #

    Tip your hat my friend, you’ve knocked another one out of the park!

  3. A Voice April 30, 2014 at 3:44 am #

    The only relevant thing I can think to say here is that we need a really strong, biting word (or phrase) to denote an idiotic, WASPy motherfucker. When we hear terms like ‘nigger’, ‘wetback’, ‘Heb’, ‘chink’ and so on there’s a certain bite to the word, there’s audible sharpness. There is no pejorative for a white person that comes anywhere close to that bite and, said from the position of a heterosexual white male, it needs to happen. People like Sterling need to be able to experience the feeling of existential crush with the utterance of one word, they need to be brought to understand.

  4. onnovocks April 30, 2014 at 6:21 am #

    Entry to heaven will probably still be free, but what about the toll road that leads there?

  5. amoyer2013 April 30, 2014 at 2:05 pm #

    Society is loaded with Donald Sterling’s. So the reality of accomplishing anything other than being vindictive to one person to save face is almost humorous. Cheer! Cheer! Donald fell! Donald Sterling’s come in all colors too. Racism has been around since the beginning of man and it is going nowhere anytime soon.

  6. avwalters April 30, 2014 at 2:46 pm #

    Catholics stopped selling “indulgences” centuries ago, though a few years ago there was some talk about resurrecting the practice. Otherwise, there’s that little problem of passing a camel through the eye of a needle.

  7. sheenmeem April 30, 2014 at 4:03 pm #

    Having a billionaire husband is a curse, when a wife has to put up with her husband’s girlfriend.

  8. Jayden Miller April 30, 2014 at 4:04 pm #

    This has got to be the best article I have read all year! Fascinating!

  9. Jennifer Barricklow April 30, 2014 at 9:13 pm #

    As a wise man once penned in warning, “All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.”

  10. ontyrepassages May 2, 2014 at 4:31 pm #

    I can’t find anything here to disagree with, which is sad. We’re slowly building the class system many ancestors sailed across an ocean to escape. Thus far we’ve fully established an upper class based on wealth, are working feverishly to destroy the middle class, and are expanding the lower, poverty stricken class. The next step is already begun: granting untold privileges to those born into privilege as wealth and bloodline become the same thing. As we march willingly into the Dark Ages we thought died in those history books too many ignored let’s also rejoice that the church remains willing to sell anything. My father taught me that over his lifetime—by example. Now he has his own parking space in heaven. It was really expensive, but he got it. Thankfully, that isn’t MY heaven.

  11. Beverley May 7, 2014 at 11:18 pm #

    I agree with you that in this world money rules and it answers everything but not in the kingdom of God. The cassettes that you purchase from the Evangelist will not guarantee you a place in heaven or a mansion because God has already prepared a place for you.
    Many of these tele evangelists are not teaching the truth about God because many of them do not have a relationship with him.
    This is the reason why the Lord told me to start my blog: http://becomingtheoilandwine.com to share the truth about him. I hope you will visit it sometime. I like you because you are honest and you speak your mind. God is searching for people like you and He will bless you for the work that you are doing.

  12. TamrahJo June 1, 2014 at 5:39 pm #

    Man arrives at Pearly Gates – informed he has lived life of fidelity and loyalty – is given a mansion and Lamborghini to drive – as are all the faithful to their ideals and relationships –
    St. Peter finds him crying on his mansion steps – seems Mr. Wonderful just saw his wife go by on roller skates carrying her ‘house’ – a cardboard box – –

    Good luck to Mr. Sterling, hope he doesn’t bust a hip while roller skating – – –

    LOL
    🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Mouse's Soapbox

observations from a certain, unique perspective - especially, these days, about dating

dancingnomads

Travelling the world and dancing

ruminationville

a gated community for the overthinker

Southern Georgia Bunny

Adventures of an Southern Bunny everything from dating, sex, life and shake your head moments.

Three's a Herd

Mothering a preemie, a princess, and a work-in-progress

Michele Kendzie

family photojournalist, scrapbook designer, and mom of three unschoolers in Fredericksburg, Virginia

lilrant

...What you see is what you get.

ScribbleDartsfromtheHeart

creative expression and imaginative exploration

J.R.Goldrich

Perspectives, Musings, and Messages from the All

Making it write

mostly poetry, partly peculiar.

a cooking pot and twisted tales

Thoughts and Tales...A Lifestyle Blog with a Zing.

opening the shutters

Musings of a Mad Woman...

Terminal Cruise

One woman's weird and wonderful world

The Arm Chair Pontificator

Satirical & Poetic Musings Of A Self-Proclaimed Nobel Prize Winner

alesiablogs

A Blog About Ordinary Life Told In Extraordinary Fashion!

KO Rural Mad As Hell Blog

Rural doctor, mom, writes poems, dance, sing.

Pacific Paratrooper

This WordPress.com site is Pacific War era information

The Happiness Trick

Let's Get Happy!

%d bloggers like this: