Shameless

24 Mar

I’m always receiving lots of junk Email in my inbox. Probably you do too. Most of it goes straight to my spam folder but every once in a while some slip through to my inbox and that’s mostly because every once in a while I can’t help but open one up just to see what it says. I’m sure that sets off an alarm in my browser that tells the internet police, “Hey! This guy will read anything! Send him more!”

Today I couldn’t help but be intrigued by this one titled: Background Checks: Find Out Your Parents’ Past Crimes!

If you’re curious about your parents’ past crimes, it just might be time to pack up and leave the house…unless of course you feel  they’ve been cheating you on your allowance and owe you more money for the lookout work you’ve been helping them out with… or maybe you feel they’ve been moonlighting with another gang late at night after you’ve been sent to your room to do your homework.

Here was another Email with the heading: Shameless Liars and Thieves!

It was from a Republican newsletter and after I opened it, it immediately identified the shameless liars and thieves as…the government. (As if I didn’t already know) but what had they done this time? Apparently our government has been withholding the secret to a cure for cancer for over 85 years! (I guess that means Republicans have been in on in too!)

Anyway, the short memo, as it’s called, goes on and on and on and explains that the good Dr. Al Sears knows the cure for cancer, aging, obesity, arthritis, depression, Alzheimer’s, and even graying hair! In fact he knows the cure for everything! All you have to do is purchase his newsletter and buy and read his 5 volume set about how to cure everything. And somehow the government can no longer stop him! Hooray for the internet! Hooray!

Of course, as any English teacher can tell you, always read to the end before answering any questions or filling out any forms because if you scroll down to the very end of this rag sheet you’ll find this disclaimer:

* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Well, I suppose you’ve got to give them some credit. After all, they did put the words Shameless Liars and Thieves right there in the title to their Email. You just had to read to the end to find out that they were talking about themselves…

Now, If only someone could find a cure for people who behave like that!…or is it being kept a secret?

4 Responses to “Shameless”

  1. Barbara Backer-Gray March 24, 2014 at 8:00 pm #

    The author of the junk mail would argue that it’s exactly because the FDA is in on keeping the cure for cancer a secret that they don’t evaluate these claims. But anyway, 85 years ago, Herbert Hoover was president. It doesn’t get much more Republican than that!

  2. A Voice March 24, 2014 at 10:00 pm #

    This is a bit tangential, but I can’t help it. Every time I see the word ‘product’ used in place of the proper noun for a given thing I cringe. And with that said…

    …the brilliant thing about ‘products’ is that they aren’t intended to do anything and are sold as-is. We went from ‘snake oil’ to ‘product’ and with that lexical change it became entirely acceptable to sell poorly functioning or non-functioning things. Fucking BRILLIANT marketing strategy.

  3. skinnyuz2b March 25, 2014 at 10:41 am #

    They are equivalent to the medicine shows of long ago. Buyer (reader) beware!

  4. avwalters March 25, 2014 at 5:27 pm #

    Didn’t P.T. Barnum have a comment about that? I, too, read to the very end (even for shameless hucksters) and as a result, all they can steal is my time. (And they get too much of that.)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Mouse's Soapbox

observations from a certain, unique perspective - especially, these days, about dating

dancingnomads

Travelling the world and dancing

ruminationville

a gated community for the overthinker

Southern Georgia Bunny

Adventures of an Southern Bunny everything from dating, sex, life and shake your head moments.

Three's a Herd

Mothering a preemie, a princess, and a work-in-progress

Michele Kendzie

family photojournalist, scrapbook designer, and mom of three unschoolers in Fredericksburg, Virginia

lilrant

...What you see is what you get.

ScribbleDartsfromtheHeart

creative expression and imaginative exploration

J.R.Goldrich

Perspectives, Musings, and Messages from the All

Making it write

mostly poetry, partly peculiar.

a cooking pot and twisted tales

Thoughts and Tales...A Lifestyle Blog with a Zing.

opening the shutters

Musings of a Mad Woman...

Terminal Cruise

One woman's weird and wonderful world

The Arm Chair Pontificator

Satirical & Poetic Musings Of A Self-Proclaimed Nobel Prize Winner

jeffrey m hartman

Examining Special Education In Concept And Practice

alesiablogs

A Blog About Ordinary Life Told In Extraordinary Fashion!

KO Rural Mad As Hell Blog

Rural doctor, mom, writes poems, dance, sing.

Pacific Paratrooper

This WordPress.com site is Pacific War era information

%d bloggers like this: