Déjà Blew All Over Again

6 Jun

Oh boy! Here it comes again! It’s the  first week of the official hurricane season and already we have the first named storm of the year, Tropical Storm Andrea…and the good news is?… according to the weather service the storm is likely to weaken and lose its tropical designation as it moves north…But the storm is expected to dump as much as 8 inches of rain on parts of Florida and Georgia…and who knows how much rain we’ll get here in the balmy state of New Jersey but it doesn’t bode well for those of us who are still feeling the pain like John Travolta at a drive in movie theater over a girl named Sandy.

And can we please put to rest any debate on whether there really is such a thing as Global Warming or Climate Change and that we humans most likely have something to do with it because in another unsettling release this week, a Colorado State University professor who is widely considered a national authority on tropical weather prediction has released his team’s first forecast for the 2013 Atlantic hurricane season – and…

The news isn’t good.

His forecast team is predicting 18 named storms during the hurricane season, nine of which are expected to become hurricanes and four of those major hurricanes, meaning they will reach category three status or higher and need we here on the east coast be reminded that Category three hurricanes pack winds of 111 m.p.h. or higher! So Thank goodness most of my trees have already blown down!

But wait! The news gets better!

Apparently early tests show that The tropical Atlantic has warmed over the past several months and in case you are a non believer in Science The CSU team does have data to back up their prediction… and here it is:

“Five hurricane seasons since 1900 exhibited oceanic and atmospheric characteristics most similar to those observed in February and March 2013: 1915, 1952, 1966, 1996 and 2004. Four out of the five years had above-average hurricane activity.” So…The team predicts that tropical cyclone activity in 2013 will be about 175 percent of the average season (2012 experienced tropical cyclone activity that was 131 percent of the average season!)…giving the east coast a 72 percent chance of being assaulted by another major hurricane.

So here are my proposed names for the rest of the 2013 hurricane season.

Beelzebub…Cuthulu…Damian…Earthsoaker…Fughetaboutit…Gargoyle…Hellsapoppin…Icantbelieveitshappeningagain…Jezebel…Krakatau: The Hurricane… Loki…MadMax…Nosferatu…OHMYGOD…PleaseNotAgain…Quexicotle… Rumplestilstkin…Satan…TitsandAsphalt…UgottaBeKiddinMe…VelosiRapture…WhattheF…

X#!*@!…Yikes…ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzwakeMeUpWhenIt’sOver!

Good luck to everyone and may the Force… miss you!

5 Responses to “Déjà Blew All Over Again”

  1. crossinh June 6, 2013 at 3:50 pm #

    I love the names you created! LOL

  2. Jae June 6, 2013 at 4:06 pm #

    Fughetaboutit made me nearly chortle my snack all over my screen. Awesome. 🙂

  3. colonialist June 6, 2013 at 8:22 pm #

    I do like Hellsapoppin!
    The fault lies squarely with the boffins – they are the ones putting the wind up everybody! 🙂

  4. charlypriest June 7, 2013 at 11:22 am #

    Living in huracan alley? Dig! underground that is in your yard maybe the next door neighbour wants his immaculate…got a some names “Outwentthewindow” “wheretheFismyhouse”, “Blewmyroofout”,”GettheFouttathere”

  5. avwalters June 7, 2013 at 1:15 pm #

    Bravo, well said. I only differ in that I think the truly deadly storms should bear the names of the high profile folks who’ve denied climate change (some of whom later objected to hurricane relief because of budget considerations–but the damage wasn’t in their backyards.)

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