How Charter Schools Can Teach Us to Make Baseball More Profitable, Baseball Players More Productive, and Baseball Fans Better Entertained At Cheaper Prices

31 Mar


It’s opening day of the Major League Baseball Season and the game is simply getting out of hand.  Poor and deteriorating cities are spending taxpayer money that they don’t have, to maintain giant stadiums where these baseball teams play. And in most cases the teams do not even sport winning records.

In fact most of these so called “professional” teams sport winning percentages commonly at 50% or lower and if one team ever wins even 60% of the games it plays it is declared a champion of its division and then sent on to compete for an even grander championship with other so called “high performing” teams.

And although the players on these teams have been trained and educated in their craft for years and often practice on a daily basis most of these players can’t even perform their hitting skills at 30%  proficiency. That’s a 70% or worse failure rate and yet these players are often considered “stars” by their teams and owners and entrenched union supporters and are paid exorbitant salaries that are often passed on to the customers or fans by way of overpriced ticketing, beverage and merchandising costs.

The pitchers on these teams often fail at an even greater rate than the hitters do and yet they are often applauded for their efforts after failing to complete even 60% of their allotted time on the mound while often appearing exhausted and drained after doing so.

This is outrageous! And here is what should be done about it!

For too long the uninspired owners and bloated baseball unions have demanded that 9 players be employed for 9 baseball positions on the field during each game. By eliminating even one of these positions we will be able to save money on baseball salaries thereby decreasing costs in wages while increasing productivity by forcing each remaining player to work harder to cover the 9 positions on the field.

However,  since the baseball field is organized into two distinct areas of play we can eliminate 1 infielder and 1 outfielder per team and reduce the number of players to 7.  Productivity will then double since  the 2 remaining outfielders and 3 remaining infielders will have more area to cover. This will force the players to work and practice harder guaranteeing them a greater percentage of success.

The fans of the game will become happier because the increased activity of the players on the field will be more entertaining to watch and as the players work harder their skills will become more pronounced and greatly improved which will also bring more joy to the fans as they watch their local heroes succeed. The reduced costs in wages to the players can also be passed along to the fans in reduced ticket prices and stadium costs, creating a greater feeling of pride among all of the people of the represented city.

It should also be noted that because of the baseball player’s overbearing, influential and wealthy union many “non-playing” baseball players are forced upon the owners who must then pay for these “non-players” and potential substitutes to sit around all day in air-conditioned dugouts and bullpens just waiting for a chance to get in the game when they aren’t even needed in the first place!

And Amazingly, these substitutes, who do not even possess the skills necessary to “begin” a baseball game and who  are not even expected by the owners, fans, players and union officials to perform at a level anywhere near commensurate with their peers, are paid a full salary also!… to sit and do nothing until called upon!…and often even laughing and cavorting about while their teammates perform miserably on these fields of their fans’ all too often broken dreams!

Imagine having a “team of professionals” where most of the members of the team are not rated as above excellent, excellent or even above average?! These unions must be eliminated so that all of these subpar, ill trained and poor performing workers can be terminated by the new and innovating owners thereby saving untold millions in wasted wages.

The immense savings that will be realized by reducing labor costs, increasing worker productivity and gained in profits for these new non-unionized public “charter teams” can then be passed on to the fans, citizens and city coffers thus creating a national pastime that we all can not only finally afford but also be proud of!

*It should be noted that when these “Charter teams” were given a chance to operate and perform on a limited basis on a real baseball diamond  in a test city the hitters’ skills immediately improved and averages increased among all 7 players per team. Substitutes were never used and every pitcher’s productivity also increased to 100% and in fact each pitcher eventually completed every game that he started.

It should also be noted however, that “burnout” among players was high but this condition did coincide with greater job opportunities for more players and although initial savings to the teams and cities and fans were quite palpable increased compensation to the new owners in the form of bonuses and stipends for management, oversight, intense player development and “other” compensation has eroded initial profit projections and unfortunately we expect to operate at a loss until new expansion opportunities through government partnerships take place.

Now Play Ball!


8 Responses to “How Charter Schools Can Teach Us to Make Baseball More Profitable, Baseball Players More Productive, and Baseball Fans Better Entertained At Cheaper Prices”

  1. misssamanthajill March 31, 2013 at 4:36 pm #

    I agree 100%! While I’m a baseball fan myself, I know that not everything is perfect within the inner workings of the teams and the game. It’s not all about the giant stadiums, it’s also about the team and the fans too! There are so many pieces to the puzzle, and sometimes people forget that I think. 🙂

  2. RAB March 31, 2013 at 6:12 pm #

    Very good!

  3. Anne March 31, 2013 at 7:37 pm #

    Loved this analogy! Well said.

  4. Ronnie Ann March 31, 2013 at 9:10 pm #

    Ha! Really well said. Perhaps hiring an extra highly-paid administrator or two while introducing standardized hitting and pitching might further help minimize the necessary players, resulting in even greater productivity stats. .

  5. Anne Chia March 31, 2013 at 9:14 pm #

    I agree!

    • Dan Hennessy April 1, 2013 at 5:35 pm #

      Get the politicians , wealthy business people , and media to tout your charter teams . Then it won’t matter that they still don’t improve . Everyone (almost) will believe them a great success anyway !

  6. pigletridesagain April 1, 2013 at 11:31 pm #

    Well done. Now maybe some bonehead in government will get the metaphor this time. Then again, probably not! :0)

  7. silverliner98 April 2, 2013 at 4:59 am #

    LOVE IT! Everywhere else there is downsizing;people working harder for less pay/acknowledgment! Why should baseball players be working less, for more, with MORE assistance and GREATER acknowledgement, while the average Joe watches on?

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