Archive | 9:54 pm

In Da House of Representin’!

5 Mar

I live in New Jersey and here most of us are aware of the famous duel on the Heights of Weehawken between Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton way back in 1804. However, what I did not realize is that at the time of the duel while Alexander Hamilton was the former Secretary of the U.S. Treasury, Aaron Burr was the actual sitting Vice President of the United States!

Wow! Can you imagine if today’s incredibly partisan and dogmatic politicians were still so faithfully  married to their own beliefs as to actually be willing to fight for them and lay not only their political lives but also their actual lives on the line, by dueling with their political opposites…especially during the age of reality television!

Image how much money they could raise to help offset their own budget deficits just by appearing on weekly television to stand up for what they believe in and battle it out in public.

“I say we feed the hungry and house the homeless!”

“I say we let them pull themselves up by their own lazy bootstraps!”

Ladies and gentlemen get ready for Chopped: Congressional All-stars!

” I’m in favor of a national law against violence and rape!”

“Well, do you mean legitimate rape or rapity rape my dear?”

Folks let’s get ready to rumble on Survivor: Senatorial Sequester Shootout!

“Raise taxes! And less spending!”

“No Taxes! And less government!”

Don’t touch that dial. It’s time for Capitol Apprentice: In Da House of Representin’!

“I say more killer drones!”

Hey, I say more killer drones!”

Please tune  in next week for our next Congressional duel. We now bring you Hair Pulling Homeless  Housewives of Washington D.C….

What better way for politicians to prove their faith in their own convictions, celebrate our Second Amendment rights, have some fun while raising money and network ratings all at the same time?!  We’ll let the participants use paintball guns but only because we’re not barbarians. Whoever gets painted first must leave the Congress immediately, never to return.

Who wants to tune in?

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