Let Girls Do It!

4 Dec

If we are going to talk about the subject of education, let’s get to the really important lesson that I believe we all need to learn when it comes to women, and that is: it may just be our women who will save the world! Women constitute the world’s largest minority. This is really quite amazing because their minority is so large, in fact… that it’s a majority… but apparently no one told women! So parents of America get to it! Explain to your daughters that they can lead our country and our planet to a better future for us all even without the help of men. It’s time to encourage and empower our daughters to not want to be like our sons but rather to remain who they are, the kinder, gentler, nurturing sex, and take power!

In public school settings, statistics have shown that girls do much better educationally when boys are not around. Why is that? For whatever reason, boys seem to make girls flat out crazier than girls seem to make boys. And boys and men should take note of this. Women actually do better without men! It’s a fact. And how do men do without women? Well, if there were beer and chips and something to watch on television we’d be just fine.

Beyond being in charge, making money, spending it all and sports, men don’t concern themselves with much else, but just imagine what would happen if we started putting women in charge of more things in this world…so sit back, relax, close your eyes and imagine this…

We let women go to school together, study hard, graduate, go on to get their advanced degrees and then put them in charge of everything! Here’s what I think would happen. We’d have no more wars. Governments might argue a lot and stop talking to each other for a time but can you actually see women organizing armies of other women to fight one another while spending all of their country’s money on weapons of mass destruction? I think we’d all have nicer shoes maybe, and more to eat and we’d most definitely have no third world countries. Put a women in charge of a third world country and their first order of business would be to clean all the shit up and at least make the place look presentable. Men are perfectly content with being the president of a shit hole as long as they have a nice palace to live in and the country’s sports teams are fairly decent.

And why is this? Why are men and women so different? Is it because we hale from different planets? Nah! Mostly it’s testosterone levels and the fact that men hit their heads a lot. Watch little boys. Mostly they run around and hit each other in the head while their parents look on and say things like,

“Oh well, he’s a real boy!”

or “Boys will be boys you know!”

or “Hit him again before he gets up you idiot!”

Then their parents are just as likely to sign them up for activities where grown up men organize them into groups where there is more head hitting to be done and ironically that’s when parents decide to start fitting their boys with protective helmets, after they’ve already gotten in all that head hitting during their formative years!

Honestly I think that it’s not so much that boys will be boys but rather that boys make boys…by smacking themselves silly! Girls don’t do this. Women don’t do this.

And here’s a little side note about helmets. They are supposed to protect the head in case the head comes in contact with some outside force. They are not supposed to invite more head hitting just to see if the damn thing works!  If women or girls put anything on their heads it’s a cute little hat that serves as an ornament. Boys get fitted with mind altering headgear that’s more often weaponized than it’s protective.

When will we learn that because women don’t hit their heads as often as men do, women simply know better. That’s why we should separate the boys from the girls and put the girls in charge. Then put protective helmets on the boys so that their brains get a chance to evolve unimpaired until we are all, both men and women, living on the same planet and working together towards peace, prosperity and a cleaner planet that looks nice in case company comes to visit.

13 Responses to “Let Girls Do It!”

  1. maxim sense December 4, 2012 at 9:44 pm #

    You have a damn good taste for girls’ special abilities that most men had not even thought of or refuse to think about 🙂 Congratulations.

  2. momentumofjoy December 4, 2012 at 9:55 pm #

    YES!!!!

  3. Tina Susedik, Author December 4, 2012 at 10:04 pm #

    Well written. I’ve posted your blog address on my Facebook page. I love your posts.

  4. saphira December 5, 2012 at 1:04 am #

    Fabulously funny! What a great read after a long day of teaching at the end of a semester and a pile of essays awaiting my perusal. Thank you.

  5. Tracy December 5, 2012 at 4:55 am #

    Thank goodness someone appreciates us. I’ve worked like a trojan to educate myself and build a decent career but must confess it’s been such a slog and I still run into men (and some confused wo-men) who want to “be in charge, making money, spending it all and sports.” I hope things are more balanced for future generations. I do wear a cycle helmet when I go mountain biking – but don’t clash heads with other bikers!

  6. Jae December 5, 2012 at 5:51 pm #

    Yeah! Girl power! I often wonder what the world would look like if women were in charge. But I still appreciate men who behave as true men—I mean the type who respect women for their strengths and differences and are okay with the women around them being strong (whether physically, mentally or both). Sometimes I feel like there’s intentionally a wedge being driven between men and women, when I think we compliment each other and the more we work with each other and not against the more we can accomplish.

    So thank you for being a man who appreciates women for their strengths and what good they can do.

  7. hiraghm December 5, 2012 at 10:25 pm #

    One, slight, important (to me) point…
    Women are not the world’s largest minority.
    The individual is the world’s largest minority.

  8. Shannon December 6, 2012 at 3:48 pm #

    “Mostly it’s testosterone levels and the fact that men hit their heads a lot.”

    This. Is. Hilarious.

  9. colonialist December 7, 2012 at 6:48 pm #

    I think the level of stupidity might well reduce giving female leadership. However, given the lessons of history and the indisputed fact that the female is often deadlier than the male, I don’t think wars etc would be eliminated. Look at Maggie as a fairly recent example. She went in with great enthusiasm.

  10. Ness December 11, 2012 at 7:14 pm #

    Every woman is unconsciously geared towards love. Women want to love and be loved, not just romantically, but in their relationship to the world at large. This ancient energy has been much suppressed by the logical, result driven masculine force out there. And sadly… women too forget that they are the carriers of femininity, the light.

    My son tells me boys at school are afraid of girls because they are so… male in their expression and treatment of others. Vulnerability is considered a weakness in this world. The fruits of the so called ‘equality’…. We ARE different. Always have been.

  11. pgmanager1432 December 15, 2012 at 4:05 am #

    Good observations! I have a head banging 3 year old son and a 2 year old cute, clean, aware daughter-you nailed it and sure made me laugh!

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