Teachers Need to be Comedians!

15 Sep

Teachers need to be Comedians too!

Sometimes in school teacher’s just need to be entertaining.

One day in class my students started complaining about me and my teaching style. They said that I was too boring and uninteresting in general. So I stopped my lesson and asked who they thought would make a good teacher. A boy in the back raised his hand and said, “Eddie Murphy!”

“Eddie Murphy?” I said. “Why Eddie Murphy?”

“Because, the student replied, he’d tell us jokes and make us laugh.”  The other students all agreed.

Then they all failed my surprise quiz.

One of the things that can make teaching so difficult, and learning for that matter, is that you always have to be ready for disappointment and you have to know your audience. Even comedians face this daunting task of playing to their audience and giving them what they want. Teachers face this every day and in every class a teacher finds a different audience that needs to not only be taught but also to be entertained. It’s hard to keep someone on task if they are bored and disinterested and the public school teacher is constantly faced with this daunting task; different students, different levels of ability, different levels of understanding, different cultures, different subject matter and all in one day! It’s like doing 5 stand-up shows in front of 5 different audiences every day, 5 days a week. Unfortunately teachers by their very definition are boring, frumpy and unfunny and unfortunately there is only one way to guarantee that your teenage audience, no matter who, what, where or on what level will be entertained. And here it is…

Just think! You could be a comedian. Well, a teenage comedian anyway or rather a comedian who can make teenagers laugh. Although I’m pretty sure adults would enjoy this act too. Here’s the routine, guaranteed to leave any teenager rolling in the aisles.

You walk in front of the class, look at the crowd and then…FART…a nice big loud one. That should keep them laughing for a good 10 minutes. When the laughter subsides you rip off another loud one…Brrrrrrrraaat! To which you cleverly add: “Shit! Was that me?”

Now you’ve really got them going! (Plus you used a naughty word. They love that!)

Ten minutes later as they’re wiping the tears from their eyes and are just beginning to regain control of their abdominal muscles, you hit them with the big finish…

You rip off another big one and say, “Aw Crap! I gotta go!” (For a teacher, using the word crap in front of students is equivalent to using the F word. Don’t ask me why but trust me it just is)

You see, they don’t know if you’ve gotta go or if you’ve gotta go!

It’s brilliant! A twenty minute routine and you didn’t even break a sweat. Man, it’s all in the words. You could be a teacher and a comedian! The trick is working your subject matter in between all of the farting but with a little practice you can master the technique. Morning coffee (And lots of it) helps too.

Who da man?!

2 Responses to “Teachers Need to be Comedians!”

  1. Education Advocate September 16, 2012 at 5:22 pm #

    I can definitely attest to the fact that students ::die:: when you cuss at them. But even better is when you overhear them cussing and they look at you and apologize and you respond, ever so nonchalantly with “You think I give a fuck?,” wink at them, and walk away. You just got those students on your side for the rest of the year. (I only ever did this with my HS seniors, wouldn’t dream of doing it with anybody younger.)

  2. Nicole September 16, 2012 at 7:22 pm #

    I enjoyed this.
    It is true about teachers saying things like “crap.”
    An educational and entertaining read. 🙂

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