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More Fun With Words!

5 Sep

 

Still More Fun with Words

Here are some more thoughts on the F Word. Ironically enough the “F” word might just be the most often used word in the English language that no one will admit to using and that we all often pretend doesn’t exist at all except in that moment when it actually comes out of our mouth with shocking clarity and indelible meaning but I’ve heard it used so often and with such frequency by my teenage students that it seemed as common and ubiquitous as the very air that those foul mouthed mother bleepin’ little urchins of mine used to breathe. I’ve heard it used so often that I have spent many a waking hour thinking about how we could all use it to our advantage and even have some fun with it.

Someday I’m going to open a fast food restaurant and I’m going to call it the “Effin Burger”      

 Kids will come in and say, “Hey! Give me an Effin Burger!”

And I’ll say, “You want some Effin Fries with that?”

“Yeah”, they’ll reply

“How about an Effin Coke?”

 “Sure!”

 “Would you like to Motha Size that?”

Word Fun Facts:

5 Sep

Here is a short list of words that all teachers and all would be teachers should become familiar with and immediately STOP using in class. This is just the short list. I’m sure there are more that I have missed or omitted or that have evolved beyond recognition even as I am typing this paragraph! These are regular, plain old ordinary words But Beware! If you are a teacher or have ever thought about being a teacher you definitely will want to familiarize yourself with this list!

Words Every Teacher Should Never Use in Class

Balls

Screw

Gay

Laid…or any form of the verb to lay or lie

Lay…in case you weren’t listening

Shaft

Leak

Fondle

Fondue…sounds like fondle

Caress

Pussy…as in cat…or pussy

Hoe

Ho!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Eat

Ate

Dick

Dicker

Prick

Cock…as in chicken…or cock

Cockatoo…as in the bird or…You’ve got a cock too?

Cocktail…the drink the sauce the dress…doesn’t matter

Cocky

Cockles

Cockapoo…you’re really asking for it now!

Cockeyed…a dead word. Don’t bring it back or you’ll have some explaining to do!

Willie…if you have a student named Willie, just leave him alone.

Shaft

Stroke

Joint

Blunt…as in blunt force trauma…or let’s be blunt…

Suck

Sucker

Sapsucker

Sack

Sad sack …why is your sack sad?

Sex

Head

Come …or any conjugated form

Threesome…as in three people…or threesome

Thong

Thongs…beach shoes

Throng…sounds like thong and they will have no idea what a throng is anyway.

Crack

Ass…as in donkey…or ass

Asinine…Did you say your ass or mine?

Mike Hunt…definitely never call this kid’s name… Go ahead try it! (If there is actually a student in your school by this name, pray that he is never in YOUR class. If he is just give him an A and leave him alone)

Boob…as in idiot or fool or boobs

Buns…hot, cold or sticky!

…If you can think of any that I’ve missed feel free to add to the list!

GRACEFIFTEENTEN

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