So I’m shopping with my wife and she picks up a package of vegetable bologna and says, “You should try this. This is very good! It doesn’t have any meat in it and is made entirely from vegetables!”
“Wow! I thought. You’re about to buy phoney baloney! There actually is a product that is real “genuine” phoney baloney! When I was a kid, phoney baloney was as phoney as one could get. Phoney baloney meant absolute nonsense, so ridiculous that anyone could spot it as being purely disingenuous. And here now was a product that was exactly that. It was phoney baloney… but apparently real! And we could buy it too!
Then I thought…obviously this product is a result of our over indulgent society’s desire for meat and meat products which has led to high obesity rates and heart disease and ecological destruction etc…and even though the makers of this product are using vegetables and other “non-meat” products they still have to make it taste like meat! That’s how much we love meat! Even though it’s killing us! So then I began to think about other common things that we sometimes say to one another. Could there be other phrases out there that might portent a future yet to come? Will recycling and reusing and ingredient substitutions continue to be a way of life far into the distant (or not so distant) future? Does this mean that someday, considering how our planet is still careening towards ecological disaster and famine and overpopulation, another popular colloquialism might lead future shoppers into commenting “Hey, look at this dear. We can now eat shit and not die!”
Then my wife, breaking me out of my reverie said, ” I buy this because this is the good phoney bologna. I won’t eat the other kind because I know how that’s made. And believe me this is much better.”
Yow! I thought…How do they make the other kind? And now I can just hear future shoppers having this same discussion. “Don’t buy that shit! I know how it’s made. Buy this shit. It’s the good shit!”
I just hope we people on this planet get “our shit” together before it’s too late!
Aren’t words fun?