Tag Archives: baseball

Damn Senators!?

2 Apr

It’s only been 1 game but already my beloved Yankees are in last place. Many are predicting that this is the beginning of the end for this great sports dynasty in fact even the New York Yankees opened their 2013 Television season with the motto “It’s the beginning of the end!”

They were referring to  this being the farewell season of relief pitcher Mariano Rivera but seriously what were they thinking? Oh the irony!

But of course it is still early and not yet time to throw in the entire towel but I have a solution as to how the Yankees can guarantee victory for this season and for all seasons to come…and the answer is Congress!

What the Yankees need to do is stop wasting money on player development and free agent contracts and begin working on umpire development. If the Yankees can put all of their money (and they can do that now thanks to the U.S Supreme Court) behind one umpire of their choosing and get that umpire elected to the Congress of the United States they can then begin moving all of their money out of player development and salaries and into legal contributions to their umpire Congressman now turned lifelong friend.

This Congressman can then begin using all of the money that the Yankees can spare to contribute to his future campaigns by enhancing the lives and well being of other umpires (who are not congressmen but still just umpires) by adding earmarks to various congressional bills that will steer money into…oh let’s say… the World Umpires Association’s pension fund or whatever it is that umpires like. (And thanks to Congress these earmarks can be secret!…Shhhhh)

All the umpires would then have to do for the Yankees is…

Now some might say that this would be bribery in its most base and disgusting form and also illegal.

But in Congress it’s called Congressional Lobbying and it would be perfectly legal and extremely above board if perhaps not exactly cricket (but we’re talking about baseball here and not cricket)

And it wouldn’t be as though the Yankees’ manager would walk right up to the umpires at the beginning of each game with the lineup card and a bag full of money. My way would be much more subtle, refined and deserving of the dignity the New York Yankees command and deserve. After all they’re the Yankees. What better team than the namesake of our country to pioneer such sports innovation?

And they’d better hurry because what if some other team thinks of it first? Like…god forbid…The Pirates!

* Has anyone noticed how well the Washington Senators have been doing these days?!

How Charter Schools Can Teach Us to Make Baseball More Profitable, Baseball Players More Productive, and Baseball Fans Better Entertained At Cheaper Prices

31 Mar

 

It’s opening day of the Major League Baseball Season and the game is simply getting out of hand.  Poor and deteriorating cities are spending taxpayer money that they don’t have, to maintain giant stadiums where these baseball teams play. And in most cases the teams do not even sport winning records.

In fact most of these so called “professional” teams sport winning percentages commonly at 50% or lower and if one team ever wins even 60% of the games it plays it is declared a champion of its division and then sent on to compete for an even grander championship with other so called “high performing” teams.

And although the players on these teams have been trained and educated in their craft for years and often practice on a daily basis most of these players can’t even perform their hitting skills at 30%  proficiency. That’s a 70% or worse failure rate and yet these players are often considered “stars” by their teams and owners and entrenched union supporters and are paid exorbitant salaries that are often passed on to the customers or fans by way of overpriced ticketing, beverage and merchandising costs.

The pitchers on these teams often fail at an even greater rate than the hitters do and yet they are often applauded for their efforts after failing to complete even 60% of their allotted time on the mound while often appearing exhausted and drained after doing so.

This is outrageous! And here is what should be done about it!

For too long the uninspired owners and bloated baseball unions have demanded that 9 players be employed for 9 baseball positions on the field during each game. By eliminating even one of these positions we will be able to save money on baseball salaries thereby decreasing costs in wages while increasing productivity by forcing each remaining player to work harder to cover the 9 positions on the field.

However,  since the baseball field is organized into two distinct areas of play we can eliminate 1 infielder and 1 outfielder per team and reduce the number of players to 7.  Productivity will then double since  the 2 remaining outfielders and 3 remaining infielders will have more area to cover. This will force the players to work and practice harder guaranteeing them a greater percentage of success.

The fans of the game will become happier because the increased activity of the players on the field will be more entertaining to watch and as the players work harder their skills will become more pronounced and greatly improved which will also bring more joy to the fans as they watch their local heroes succeed. The reduced costs in wages to the players can also be passed along to the fans in reduced ticket prices and stadium costs, creating a greater feeling of pride among all of the people of the represented city.

It should also be noted that because of the baseball player’s overbearing, influential and wealthy union many “non-playing” baseball players are forced upon the owners who must then pay for these “non-players” and potential substitutes to sit around all day in air-conditioned dugouts and bullpens just waiting for a chance to get in the game when they aren’t even needed in the first place!

And Amazingly, these substitutes, who do not even possess the skills necessary to “begin” a baseball game and who  are not even expected by the owners, fans, players and union officials to perform at a level anywhere near commensurate with their peers, are paid a full salary also!… to sit and do nothing until called upon!…and often even laughing and cavorting about while their teammates perform miserably on these fields of their fans’ all too often broken dreams!

Imagine having a “team of professionals” where most of the members of the team are not rated as above excellent, excellent or even above average?! These unions must be eliminated so that all of these subpar, ill trained and poor performing workers can be terminated by the new and innovating owners thereby saving untold millions in wasted wages.

The immense savings that will be realized by reducing labor costs, increasing worker productivity and gained in profits for these new non-unionized public “charter teams” can then be passed on to the fans, citizens and city coffers thus creating a national pastime that we all can not only finally afford but also be proud of!

*It should be noted that when these “Charter teams” were given a chance to operate and perform on a limited basis on a real baseball diamond  in a test city the hitters’ skills immediately improved and averages increased among all 7 players per team. Substitutes were never used and every pitcher’s productivity also increased to 100% and in fact each pitcher eventually completed every game that he started.

It should also be noted however, that “burnout” among players was high but this condition did coincide with greater job opportunities for more players and although initial savings to the teams and cities and fans were quite palpable increased compensation to the new owners in the form of bonuses and stipends for management, oversight, intense player development and “other” compensation has eroded initial profit projections and unfortunately we expect to operate at a loss until new expansion opportunities through government partnerships take place.

Now Play Ball!

 

Déjà Vu All Over Again?

25 Mar

Well it’s Spring! Although here on the east coast Spring has apparently been lionized for the entire month of March! But no matter what the weatherman says baseball and opening day shall spring eternal on the 31st.

And speaking of America’s favorite pastime, I have been a New York Yankee fan long enough to remember their 1965 collapse into mediocrity after a 1964 season that saw them finish one game away from the World Championship…for in 1965 as the great Yogi Berra might have phrased it, “The Yankees suddenly got old early out there.”

And now 48 years later the Yankees stand on the precipice of doing that very same thing again…but with a twist.

With aging heroes Curtis Granderson, Mark Teixeira,  Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter all on the disabled list the NY Yankees will owe players who will not be playing on opening day more money than 13 other major league teams will pay their entire roster to actually pitch, catch, hit, field and run when the games begin and the umpires declare “Play ball!”

This sobering fact is leading many fans, executives and experts to predict a last place finish this year for the mighty Yankees… Joltin’ Joe, say it ain’t so…

But still even without the afore mentioned players the 2013 NY Yankees will field a team with a combined payroll greater than all but 7 other teams in the major leagues and Yankee fans can expect to pay more money for season tickets and parking than most Yankees’ players were paid to play during the entire 1965 season.

Who knows what this means but it sure will be interesting to watch and see what happens to a team and its fans in the house that “tax exempt financing” built. Yankee Stadium is the most expensive baseball stadium ever constructed and although the Yankees paid for it (sort of)…They get to use their taxes to pay off their debt which would be like you getting to use your property taxes to pay off your mortgage… (sounds too good to be true doesn’t it?)

Will there be joy in Mudville this year? All I can say is “Stay tuned!” Because when this happened in 1965 the Yankees had to wait until free agency was invented before they could put themselves back together again.

But If it happens again this time, as a Yankee fan rooting for a team with seemingly unlimited resources,  in a city that can’t seem to wait to pick up the tab,  I’m hoping for the next best thing…

The invention of Cyborgs!

There’s No Crying in Baseball

9 Jan

This Just In: The Baseball Writers’ Association of America did not vote anyone into the Baseball Hall of Fame today, taking an obvious stand against steroid and drug use in the game of baseball, while making a stand for morality and fair play everywhere!

However, despite the popular saying, potential Hall of Fame candidates, baseball owners and even the writers themselves were later seen crying…on their way to the bank.

Gods and Fastballs

2 Dec

I’m a Yankee fan… as in the New York Yankees but I have to admit that it’s getting hard for me to care about whether the Yankees do well or not these days. After all I’m not a kid any more and at the ripe old age of 57 it just feels embarrassing to root for a team of millionaires, with even wealthier millionaire owners and a top season ticket price that now eclipses what the average American worker earns in a year.

Andy Pettitte just signed a one year contract to pitch for the Yankees for 12 million dollars. Last year he started 12 games and he won 5 of them. At 1 million dollars per game that would mean that Andy Pettitte earns as much money in one start, perhaps 2 hours, (After all no one expects him to pitch all 9 innings any more…not that he ever did) as the average American worker earns in 25 years.

Wow! 2 hours work = 25 years of work. It’s hard to wrap one’s head around a statistic like that isn’t it? But after all Andy Pettitte is one of the best pitchers in baseball isn’t he? Actually no, he’s not. And at 40 years of age and having won only 5 games last year he’s not even close.

In fact, the minimum salary in major league baseball will rise this year to almost 500,000 dollars which means that the lowest paid player will earn in 3 years what the average American worker earns in a lifetime.

3 baseball years of playing = 1 average lifetime of working.

I won’t even mention meal money. If I did you’d probably cry like I am right now.

But it’s a free country and we live in a free market economy where workers earn what the free market can bear.

I just no longer can understand how the market can bear it or can even bear to look at it? How is it that the free market supports these salaries and ticket prices and why do average American wage earners pump money into sports and entertainment personalities and venues that must be crippling their ability to meet their own family’s needs?

How is it that In an age and civilization where we are still undecided on whether or not all citizens should have access to affordable healthcare or retirement benefits or well funded schools or decent places to live we are still so able and eager to sustain such frivolity and waste at our own expense?

Once upon a time Roman citizens turned their thumbs down and brought the anger of the gods upon the poor wretched souls who entertained them in their arenas… and now 2 thousand years later we shower cheers and applause upon the richest men who play among us and treat them as though they were our gods, with thumbs up in approval as we spy one another wearing their names on our backs as though if only we could be them then all would be right with the world.

Is it their wealth that makes the difference? What is it about wealth that we revere so much and destitution that we so revile?

The rich get richer because we make them richer while we get poorer and can’t seem to help ourselves.

Meanwhile our elected leaders who themselves can’t help but get richer with each election’s victory no matter how poor their constituents may be, debate and cat fight over whether or not the wealthiest individuals in our country can afford to be taxed at a higher rate without bringing the entire ass backwards society of ours down.

Can a nation’s wealthiest citizens who earn as much in one year as that nation’s average citizens earn in a lifetime afford to pay for that privilege at a higher tax rate?

It seems to me that shouldn’t be the question. The question should be: How can they afford not to? How can they afford to screw such a good thing up? Let’s face it most of us actually do revere them as gods! All they need to do is pony up a little  more of their chump change so we worshipers can have our medicaid and medicare and social security and 30 year mortgages and jobs with minimal healthcare.

Are the gods really gonna screw this one up?

Will A-Rod hit the fastball next year?

 

 

The Mighty Casey has…

19 Oct

While I was watching the New York Yankees fold to the Detroit Tigers last night for some reason my mind turned to the problems we face with drugs here in America. Why you ask? Probably because I had just watched A-Rod strike out 10 out of 11 times at bat (or close to that) and he was one of the most famously known and notorious PED (performance enhancing drugs) users in Major League Baseball! Selfishly, since I’m a Yankee fan, my first thought was why has he stopped using them?! Then I thought, who is still using them? Since there are over 100 known PED users on a list being kept secret by Major League Baseball, I felt this was a valid thought. After all none of my Yankees could hit the ball any more. They couldn’t be using drugs! Perhaps Detroit players are? After all, they’re clobbering us! Have you seen their pitching? My god, they all look like Bob Gibson. Get the tests!

Then I thought…Why does Major League Baseball test each player in the spring and then again randomly over the course of each season? Isn’t that a waste of time and money? Why not just test excellent (and aberrant) performers? Wouldn’t this make more sense? “Hey, nice homerun there big fella! You hit that ball so hard it almost left the stadium! Here’s a high five and a cup to pee in. Now hit the urinals!”

Then I thought…Gee, if A-rod had fired up a joint there in the dugout to help him relax and forget his troubles while being benched in front of America for his obviously poor and non drug related performance, he would have been arrested and taken to jail. Using a performance enhancing drug would only get him a suspension from baseball. He’d see no jail time, get to keep his millions and probably a trip to the hall of fame. That’s weird isn’t it?

Then I wondered just how many people are in jail for using marijuana. (The game was all but over so what can I say? My mind was wandering)

Anyway…I went to the computer and googled the DOJ and discovered that: In 2007 the Department of Justice reportedthat there were 1,841,182 drug arrests in the United States; And that there were more drug abuse arrests than any other category of offenses. Marijuana arrests accounted for 47.4% of the drug abuse arrests. That means about 872,720 persons were arrested for marijuana offenses. Eighty-nine percent of these arrests were for possession.

That led me to think…Who are all of these people that they are arresting for marijuana use?

And why is there anyone on a college campus today who isn’t in jail?!

Then someone popped out and the game was mercifully over…but then a commercial came on and the spokesperson was hawking testosterone and explaining how any man over 30 needed more of it! And this was on national television! And testosterone is one of the banned performance enhancing drugs that will get you suspended from baseball! In fact Melky Cabrera who led the National League in hitting just returned from his suspension for using it!

Then the game returned to my TV set and there were the Detroit Tigers celebrating in their locker room by pouring champagne over their heads and into their mouths from time to time and I thought…

Wouldn’t the Detroit Tigers’ parking lot be a great place for a DUI checkpoint? Quick somebody notify the police but I doubt anyone will get in trouble in Tiger town tonight…

So be careful out there America! We have a strict drug policy in this country but I have absolutely no idea what it is. Just like the Mighty Casey, and A-Rod, I guess every at bat is gonna be either a hit or a miss.

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