Rock Me Like a Hurricane

I still must insist that we stop naming hurricanes after women or men with normal and harmless sounding names and if we can’t use horrible sounding adjectives or common expletives then we must name these terribly destructive storms after familiar people with whom we recognize and associate infamous deeds, especially in light of the recent news that Congress will be taking its own sweet time in deciding whether or not relief in the form of economic aid will be coming to the Northeast.

Naming a storm Sandy or Betsy or Fred just doesn’t cut it when trying to describe the devastation left in its wake or the homes and lives and livelihoods destroyed by its wrath.

“Congress can’t decide whether to give aid to victims of Sandy”, sounds like a bad date gone wrong rather than a mega-storm of death and destruction.

If we could say that “Congress refuses to vote on aid to victims of Attila the Hun!” that certainly might carry more weight don’t you think? I seriously doubt that any Congressman would want to be remembered as the lawmaker who vacillated over voting for relief to victims of Hurricanes Hitler, Judas, Cain, Vlad the Impaler, Jack the Ripper, Saddam Hussein or (if we must insist using women’s names) even Lizzy Borden.

For goodness sakes, even being able to say something like, ” You should have been there when Hurricane Lindsey Lohan tore up the boardwalks and laid waste to the Jersey Shore! It was horrible!”  At least that might paint the proper picture of destruction in the minds of Congressmen who are less in tune to the suffering of their everyday average constituents while being more familiar with pop cultural references and internet trivia.

Or Maybe from here on out we should all just agree to only name hurricanes after Congressmen. Then at least we common folk will know exactly and without any doubt what we’ve got coming…

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